Patel’s FBI wants to give UFC exclusive contract to train agents

2 days ago by Viking_Hippie to c/nottheonion

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/52959175

CEO Dana White has long been an ally of President Donald Trump and his administration. Agents would be trained in hand-to-hand combat.

The FBI plans to offer the Ultimate Fighting Championship an exclusive one-year contract to train its special agents in hand-to-hand combat, according to a document released by the agency in September.

The UFC, according to the bureau, is “the sole qualified vendor” capable of providing tactical training that meets FBI standards. The justification for the contract cited the “expertise” the multibillion-dollar global media business has in mixed martial arts, striking techniques, grappling and takedowns.

The bureau said that market research determined that “no other vendor can provide comprehensive training encompassing all required skills at the necessary expertise level within the required timeframe.”

PattyMcB 69 points a day ago

This really is the dumbest timeline

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BruisedMoose 53 points 2 days ago

I had to pause a lovely Joni Mitchell song to rant at my wife about this one.

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med 17 points a day ago

They paved paradise and put up a parking lot~

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Delphia 12 points a day ago

A parking lot is fucking useful.

They paved paradise and erected a gaudy oversized monument to an achivement they didnt accomplish that serves no purpose other than giving the paving job and monument construction to a friend of their administration and then banned public access.

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Zahille7 12 points 2 days ago

I'd suggest some Carol King to help ease those nerves

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radiofreebc 43 points 2 days ago

Will America's next war be fought in the Octagon?

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cybervseas 17 points a day ago

They going to demolish the Pentagon to add three more sides.

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Aatube 5 points a day ago

but then it wouldn’t be tesselable! clearly we need a better solution. how about we swap the two buildings’ functions and keep them?

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phutatorius 2 points an hour ago

Penrose tile shape or GTFO.

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Lucidlethargy 3 points 17 hours ago

No, it will be in a monster truck rally discretely labeled "rehabilitation".

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Gpennyhigh 3 points 16 hours ago

Lol I was just thinking this again, the fights, the monster trucks and electrolytes!

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Lushed_Lungfish 1 point 12 hours ago

That would actually be a more civilized way of dealing with international conflicts than what we have on the deck right now.

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QProphecy 26 points 2 days ago

What a clown show they've become. Shame!

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db2 8 points a day ago

They started out that way but they became one too.

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turdburglar 3 points a day ago

mid mitch hedberg

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db2 1 point 12 hours ago

*midch hedberg

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turdburglar 2 points 11 hours ago

well done

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turdburglar 23 points a day ago

welcome to cartoon usa.

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RonnyZittledong 15 points 2 days ago

We have have a sycophantic boot licker! Quick! Get him some government money!

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BigTrout75 13 points a day ago

I was hoping WWE would win the contract, oh well

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FE80 5 points 12 hours ago

You're not going to believe this, but the UFC and WWE have the same owner and trade under the stock symbol "TKO".

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BigTrout75 1 point 6 hours ago

Crazy!

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finallymadeanaccount 11 points a day ago

Wow. White must need a lot of money laundered.

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eestileib 10 points 2 days ago

Masculinity be porcelain

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tal 7 points 2 days ago path: 0 26270587, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
YouTalkinToMe 7 points a day ago

Will it be live streamed on TrumpTV and have testosteron boosters?

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cardboardboxfort 7 points 11 hours ago

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Arcanepotato 6 points a day ago

Something something 56 channels of america gladiator.

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fratermus 4 points 5 hours ago

To be fair, I would absolutely dish out for a pay-for-view to see Patel take a savage beating from an MMA fighter.

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theneverfox 1 point 3 hours ago

I would pay to see took get the shit beat out of him by a reasonably healthy grandma

An mma fight against a pug would be over way too fast

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phutatorius 1 point an hour ago

Why not WWE?

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