Hi! Very new trans girl here, thought I'd introduce myself since I've been lurking in various trans communities for a while now. Had a bit of a rough brain day so I'm just taking this evening to relax with some tea and music and cute girl clothes and say hi to all the lovely ladies here. This is an intro post but also a bit of personal affirmation as I've only come out to one person and haven't really put my thoughts to (digital) paper properly.

I don't have a name yet so, uh... fedi handle it is. Hi, I'm avertedglare. Nice to meet you all :)

My egg cracked a couple months ago. I've had an interest in fem fashion for years (never cared even a little bit about masc fashion, go figure) and had been toying with the idea of crossdressing but lacked the confidence to try it until recently. Eventually I decided I'd had enough of denying myself something I wanted for so long, so I said fuck it and ordered a cheap black cocktail dress off Amazon. It did NOT fit well at all but it felt really good to wear and I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror and just... picturing myself as a girl.

After that experiment my friend suggested I try eye makeup so I found a YouTube tutorial and bought some concealer, blush, eyeliner, and mascara. It legit took like an hour of fucking up the eyeliner, removing it and trying again until I got it "good enough" (bad). Looked in the mirror and I genuinely screamed. There was a ✨girl✨ looking back at me and it made me so happy in a way I can't really put into words. I'm sure you all know the feeling haha.

Since then I've been living as a woman in private. Started a skin care routine, dress exclusively fem, shave, do my makeup every day. And it feels amazing. It's like there's color in my world for the first time in forever. I'm suddenly motivated to take care of myself and excited about my appearance. Feeling like a girl fills me with so much warmth and comfort that I truly didn't know I was capable of feeling.

I'm working up the confidence to seek out HRT but between executive dysfunction, social anxiety, and the social consequences transitioning will have, it's a lot to overcome. But I know it's something I really want. So I'll get there eventually!

Anyway, about me:

I'm 20 something and work in IT in the New England area. I'm a big gamer and general computer nerd as you might expect from a Lemmy user. Linux user and FOSS enjoyer. Huge rock/metal fan. Other hobbies include 3D printing, homelab, fishkeeping, and mechanical keyboards (though I've mostly moved on from that hobby- kinda feel like the spirit was lost at some point). I also started taking online keyboard lessons but my ADHD-addled brain prevents me from sticking with that sort of discipline for long, so we'll see how it goes.

Been playing a LOT of Fortune's Weave lately (it's really, really good, easily my GOTY). I'm mostly an RPG girlie, specifically of the JRPG and ARPG persuasions. Can't wait for PoE2 1.0 in December!

As for music I tend to listen to a few albums on repeat until I can't stand them. Currently that's Magma - Gojira, Electra Heart - Marina and the Diamonds, Venceremos - Villagers of Ioannina City (this album came out right around when I came out so it's taken on a special meaning to me), and Thirteenth Step - A Perfect Circle.

Thanks for reading and looking forward to getting to know everyone! ❤️🏳️‍⚧️