Woman slams selfish paragliders who 'made her think Hamas were invading Doncaster'
3 years ago by RobotToaster to c/nottheonion
At least the city I lived in was close enough to "primary nuclear strike" targets to be demolished by shockwave.
Never mind the fact that that's nuclear strike targets, not "Terrorist-hijacked-jets" target. Clearly people tend not to think rationally about these things.
We live a few stone throws away from the biggest military base in this part of the country. I usually joke that we'll either be the first or the last to go if there's a war.
However, terrorists attacking that would be "putting your dick in a fire ants nest" level of stupid.
I think it would make more sense to attack there.
The goal of an attack is not to do a standoff with the military and win. It is tocause a lot of damage quickly, to negate the feeling of security. Attacking next to the largest military base would be perfect for that, as it creates the appearance, that the military is unable to protect the people.
But the fact is that noone can really protect against this.
Some heavy truck driving through a crowd was often more efficient than gunmen throwing grenades.
Unless specifically searching for it, any semitruck will pass most police unnoticed and could be loaded with a couple tons of explosive fertilizer, enough to destroy a large buildung, killing hundreds of people.
And the attackers either include their death as a planned result, or they run quickly after an attack, making it impossible to respond immediately.
My dad pointed out to me as a kid that the city next to us would be a nuke target because it held the US strategic reserve of silicon carbide, a substance critical to grinding parts (e.g. making weapons).
The Midwest is full of missile silos that are on MAD target lists. There’s possibly more legitimate fear that terrorists could target something in San Francisco or similarly popular places. Terrorists also want attention, so a place with lots of news coverage is better too.
After 911 a woman in my city (Portland Oregon) called the police because she saw powder on the hood of her parked car - parked under trees that were shedding pollen. She though fer sher that evildoers were targeting her with anthrax spores or something. The police are required to respond to those calls with full bio-emergency gear, so it was a huge scene, road blocked off, police vans everywhere, people in full body protective gear taking samples of the "anthrax" from her car. The end result was a public announcement from the police asking the public to please use common sense before calling. The drama going on in people's heads sometimes ... yikes.
People need to remember that chances are they are far too unimportant to use expensive stuff like anthrax on them. And if they are important enough for it, then they would already know and take precautions.
Unless you randomly pick up what appears to be a bottle of perfume and it's full of Novichok nerve agent.
Dude, you don't have to make up Left Nube, Indiana when the state has Floyd's Knobs and French Lick.
Wolverines!
You mean they project their insecurities.
Left Nube... That's a city Colin Mochrie made up, isn't it?
Whoever thought it was funny to parasail over the village, it was in extremely poor taste. Take your twisted hatred somewhere else
Hate of what? Gravity?
This woman should make herself available to studies of the mind.
"We investigated thoroughly and came away with no findings"
“The lab results from the brain dissection were inconclusive, but the available data has lead us to formulate a new hypothesis. This sort of anomalously delusional thinking pattern may have been effected by excessive exposure to news and social media, but further research would be required.”
She is from rural Britain. What do you expect to find?
She's rocking the abnormal brain from Frankenstein
Hamas allegedly used paragliders to attack Israel
So what? We are meant to assume every recreational paraglider in the world is now part of Hamas?
Russia used trains to transport soldiers, do we report that some crazy lady thinks the local UK train is part of a Russian invasion?
It’s a good thing assault rifles are illegal in Britain
Very much so. They should be illegal everywhere as idiots like this are all over the globe!
You jest. But I’ve had an 8” flying saucer shot out by an idiot when I was doing some park flying. (The saucer body was a 3d printed replica of the OG Day The Earth Stood Still film,)
- it was 8” on diameter. 2) it was in a park loaded with kids
Fortunately it was bird shot and no one was harmed. But still.
Tbf, if it had been Klaatu, those kids would have been in peril!
Don't go to East Anglia believing that.
Tell me more
Farmers in East Anglia are authorized to be armed. Guns are quite available in the UK outside of the cities and the gun law allows for them.
True, farmers tend to keep a shotgun around in rural areas, but I think you'd be hard pressed to find a farmer with an AR-15.
If you call the Daily Mirror they probably will.
I just like the idea that Hamas got all the way through a plan to invade britain that required them to train for aerial operations, arrange for a plane, convincingly penetrate british airspace from another EU country and yet they couldn't figure out how to buy paragliders that weren't hot pink.
A leisure paragliding club would be a perfect infiltration tactic/cover!
Probably watches GB News
Genius that one
Sounds like planes with missing steps
Actually, a lot of planes are missing steps, they have to drive some up to them at the airport (🥁)
lol found the Brexit voter
Enemy gliders!
If you're old enough to remember this, don't forget to take your ibuprofen. 😉
I wonder how long it'll be till Tucker Gott gets reported for being in Hamas.
I think the Mirror made this up
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Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
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Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
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To be fair, after the attacks on 9/11 I heard a fair number of comments from people who were convinced their local high school football stadium would be a prime target for international terror rings.
"Think about it, Becky. It's Friday night and the whole town of Left Nube, Indiana will be packed in there. We're sitting ducks."
It's silly, but people project their fear locally.
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