Do you wipe sitting or standing?

3 years ago by ANuStart to c/AskKbin

Bidet users can keep their posh, clean asses out of the discussion!

Untitled9999 32 points 3 years ago

I wipe sitting. I think most people probably do. Standing up will push your arse cheeks together, so the poo inside the crack will just smear everywhere.

As for bidets, I don't use them. They're very rare in my country. I just wipe with toilet paper. I try to get my arse as clean as possible with the toilet paper, so I wipe multiple times.

Thank you for reading my post about my pooing habits.

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saegiru 12 points 3 years ago

Rare or not, get a bidet for home. It's like $25 US for a basic model, and you will never go back. I feel like an absolute savage when I can't use a bidet now. My best argument is this: Imagine if you fell into a pile of manure. Would you just get some dry paper towel and wipe yourself off and call it good?

If your answer is anything other than no, I don't have a rebuttal, but you do you.

In answer to the question, I still wipe the water away sitting down. Standing up doesn't make any sense as you essentially make a shit sandwich with your cheeks... and even though I'm clean down there now - I learned that way and don't plan on changing.

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terrrmus 10 points 3 years ago

I used a $30 bidet for about 6 years. It's has always been amazing. We finally redid our bathroom so I went with a deluxe heated seat, heated water, blow dryer, etc. Gat damn is it wonderful, but it will spoil you. Makes pooping anywhere else dreadful. I'm trying to solve this by gifting my friends bidets for Christmas. So far it's working.

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Fleabomber 6 points 3 years ago

Oy, get your clean ass outta here.

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kestrel7 4 points 3 years ago

I know exactly what you mean. People are too embarrassed to talk about this basic truth truth: if I go back to somebody's house on a date and they don't have a bidet, I'm not going to do butt stuff with them.

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VioletRing 3 points 3 years ago

I love my bidet, but I can't get anyone else on board. How do you get people comfortable with sharing one? I've attempted to get my sisters to try mine, but they both think a bidet is like a personal item and gross to share.

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CodingSquirrel 2 points 3 years ago

"Yet you happily use both my toilet and my sink, and my ass cheeks regularly touches one of those."

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FreeBooteR69 2 points 3 years ago

Wow, bidets for $30? It can be $1k to $3k cad just for the bowl here. It's like $500 and up just for the seats! That doesn't account for the other bits and bobs you need to get it all installed.

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AttackBunny 4 points 3 years ago

They are bolt on seats only, not a full toilet style bidet. You can see a bunch of them here on amazon. tushy ones seem to be pretty popular over on the place that will not be named. They are low on frills (like no heated water typically).

Personally, I splurged for a Kohler with all the bells and whistles (definitely wasn't $30). OMG it's hands down the greatest thing I have ever bought. Heated seat, air dry, heated water, amongst other things.

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Psychonaut1969 1 point 3 years ago

I think the price difference is between electric and not electric. the electric ones are pricier. The ones that don't use electricity are much cheaper. These kits don't come with a seat or a bowl and use your existing toilet.

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AttackBunny 4 points 3 years ago

Lol if I fell in manure I wouldn't just take the hose and wash it off, then paper towel dry either. There would definitely be LOTS of saop involved. Just saying.

I'm in total agreement though. Got a nice bidet seat and it's hands down the best thing ever. I hate using bathrooms in the wild, at all, because they lack the heated seat my bidet has, in addition to the lack of the bidet part.

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SuiXi3D 1 point 3 years ago

They're very rare in my country.

So get a battery powered portable bidet! I’m in the US and the one I got has been a life saver.

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vinzen 1 point 3 years ago

Thanks I do the same

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scyrp 30 points 3 years ago

Face down on the bathroom tiles, ass up high with legs & cheeks spread as far wide as possible. Only way to handle my dump truck

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riktor 4 points 3 years ago

ah a true renaissance man.

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Dufurson 3 points 3 years ago

like you, with homemade wipes, toilet paper sprayed with my special recipe xD

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ScumbagSpruce 13 points 3 years ago

Bidet. And then one sitting pass to dry.

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BedSharkPal 4 points 3 years ago

I can't believe anyone does it any other way.

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ScumbagSpruce 3 points 3 years ago

Savages exist in all corners of the world.

If you know someone who would get poop on their hand and wipe it with paper saying "good enough", they are uncivilized and not to be trusted. And they have a dirty butthole.

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Cinner 2 points 3 years ago

How do bidets work with different types of poop? My butt has been on a real peanut butter kick lately, and I'm starting to despise wet wipes.

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iAmTheTot 7 points 3 years ago

They work well, that's how.

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ScumbagSpruce 2 points 3 years ago

Bidets are like a refreshing mini pressure washer for your brown eye. Blasts the peanut butter right out of the shag carpet. Works on all types.

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Niello 2 points 3 years ago

If you are considering getting a bidet, you might also be interested to know that there is a hand bidet variant. The positive is you don't have to move where you sit, you can control the position and angle as well as the pressure with your hand, and it's more compact.

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VioletRing 1 point 3 years ago

I'll second the hand bidet! It hooks on the side of the toilet tank, and the hose is long enough that I've used it to spray my feet off in the tub. For the ladies out there, hand bidet is the way to go for period and after sex clean up.

Previously had an under-seat style and had many issues with it. The under-seat wasn't as good for certain poos, and being a lady, I was never very comfortable with the water blasting back to front. It also was a pain whenever the toilet clogged - all that nasty toilet water splashing it and on a few occasions the bidet was submerged. That's a lot of extra cleaning, and you gotta trust everyone else is properly cleaning it after a clog.

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roadkill 1 point 3 years ago

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cram42 1 point 3 years ago

This 👆. There is no other way.

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Arnerob 11 points 3 years ago

Standing, I think it's more common for guys to do it like that

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FreeBooteR69 3 points 3 years ago

I sit to shit. I don't have everyone's perfect torpedo's, there would be collateral damage in a stand-up.

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Baketime 11 points 3 years ago

Lean to one side

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roofuskit 10 points 3 years ago

I've never had my ass called posh before.

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JollyBrancher 1 point 3 years ago

Still gotta dry off unless you got some high-end gear and are in the posh+ club! ...I am not.

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SkadusX 10 points 3 years ago

Depends on how many days I got into the challenge.

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thegreekgeek 8 points 3 years ago

sits in corner and cries in clean butthole

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FreeBooteR69 1 point 3 years ago

I envy you. I have a harry butthole and the will-knots will not.

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metaStatic 2 points 3 years ago

Yer a butthole 'Arry

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supermurs 6 points 3 years ago

Not while standing completely but kind of in the middle of sitting and standing. Not sure what the correct English term is for this position.

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Trebuchet 7 points 3 years ago

I like your thinking, getting in a quad workout at the same time

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randomperson 3 points 3 years ago

In Polish it would be "na Małysza". Małysz is a famous Polish ski jumper.

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supermurs 2 points 3 years ago

Haha, I should call it Nykänen or Ahonen as they are famous Finnish ski jumpers.

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kestrel7 2 points 3 years ago

In English we would probably call that crouching or squatting.

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Famborghini 1 point 3 years ago

Squatting

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BionicHippo 6 points 3 years ago

You still gotta wipe the water off with a bidet. But you gotta sit for that so you don't drip bidet water down your leg.

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Amongog 6 points 3 years ago

Male
Bidet + half stand

I'm not fat but do have a big ass, it's easier for me to do a half stand and wipe, spreading my ass a bit and making sure everything is indeed clean.

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dismalnow 5 points 3 years ago

My posh, clean ass is always out - and frequently the topic of discussion.

Prior to my ascension, I was a sit-wiper because shit should always be as close to the toilet as possible.

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McBinary 1 point 3 years ago

Even after our, ahem* ascension, we still gotta dry off. Sit style, lean and dry!

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roadkill 4 points 3 years ago

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kestrel7 1 point 3 years ago

This guy shits.

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t0fr 3 points 3 years ago

Can you even reach behind if you don't stand up at least a little bit? And if you do stand up, do the auto flushing toilets go off?

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snooggums 3 points 3 years ago

Lean to the side while sitting to reach the undercarriage.

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kestrel7 2 points 3 years ago

If you're a bigger person this is a cool and fun way to break toilet seats clean off! Ask me how I know

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t0fr 1 point 3 years ago

You know, I've never thought once in my life to do that.

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Piramic 1 point 3 years ago

Yep, you only have to jack up one side.

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some_guy 2 points 3 years ago

You can’t touch your own ass while sitting down?

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t0fr 6 points 3 years ago

Not when it's blocked by the seat.

And not from end to end

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Tight-laced 1 point 3 years ago

Female here. Can touch ass but not all the way through to get a good wipe of both areas.

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reflex 3 points 3 years ago

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Snowfall 2 points 3 years ago

Half stand wipe north to south. My old bidet doesn’t fit my new toilet anymore so I am S.O.L unfortunately, been using one of those travel bidet for more emergency situations

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bupkis 2 points 3 years ago

Both. And I can't decide which is better. Same as peeing.

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Famborghini 2 points 3 years ago

Genuinely surprised people stand lol

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AmidFuror 2 points 3 years ago

I don't think OP knows about the three seashells.

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BurnTheRight 2 points 3 years ago

OP's username checks out.

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PrunesMakeYouPoop 2 points 3 years ago

I use the sink or shower.

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metaStatic 2 points 3 years ago

username checks out

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WeDoTheWeirdStuff 2 points 3 years ago

Almost exclusively

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zerbey 2 points 3 years ago

Sitting, but until I was an adult I stood. No idea why I stood for so long, probably how I was taught and just never changed. Sitting is more efficient.

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Denuath 1 point 3 years ago

Same here, no idea why I stood for so long. I learned why too late that sitting is much better.

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TabbyCat 1 point 3 years ago

I may be posh but I still wipe, standing up in all of my wet ass glory.

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