How to fuck up your children for life - part I.

3 years ago by Vitya to c/memes

produnis 51 points 3 years ago

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norgur 5 points 3 years ago path: 0 739705 740663, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
borlax 44 points 3 years ago

This is layered... Not only will the kids grow up incorrectly believing that the earth is flat, they are also going to grow up resenting people that disagree with what their parents say, eventually they may even resent their parents for forcing their false beliefs on them and making them look foolish in front of their peers.

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myxi 38 points 3 years ago

I have met a Flat Earth conspiracy believer mom who was homeschooling her kid, explaining how the sphere Earth model is wrong and so on, her complain was that despite her best efforts to indoctrinate educate her child, the child was not convinced that the Earth is flat. It goes to show that some children are just too intelligent to fall for this kinda shit. The child was eight or nine years old I think.

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ignotum 11 points 3 years ago

Reminds me of Aron Ra, he grew up in a mormon family, but in his case they waited with the indoctrinating until he was old enough, which was when he was eight

But as he himself said "by then it was already too late"

When his mother sat him down and started reading to him from the book of mormon, he just pointed out things that were wrong and stupid.

Remember, if you want your kids to believe the stupid things you believe, start early and don't let them see or hear too much about reality, or you'll have a bad time

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PillowTalk420 1 point 3 years ago

Me, after learning where Mormonism came from: "So you're telling me your entire belief system stems from believing a teenager, who was known to be a con man, had golden plates given to him by God that nobody else was allowed to see? Are y'all fucking dumb or something?"

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kwerks 5 points 3 years ago

The thought of a nine year old looking at a "grown" women with disbelief as the women tries explaining the flat earth BS is actually fucking jokes lol

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ignotum 1 point 3 years ago
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mriguy 44 points 3 years ago

This is, very simply, child abuse.

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aplomBomb -6 points 3 years ago

It's satire

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L0Wigh 23 points 3 years ago

Honestly, I'm not sure that is satire

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collegefurtrader 16 points 3 years ago

How sure are you

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PRUSSIA_x86 5 points 3 years ago

I can assure you people really are this stupid. My fiance works at a public library in rural Ohio and young-earth geocentrism is alive and well.

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animist 3 points 3 years ago

I wish

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Zucca 1 point 3 years ago

Humor at its darkest - at best.

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reverie 32 points 3 years ago

I babysat a girl who came to me and asked if atoms were really little crosses, like her grandmother taught her. She was confused because the teacher at school was saying something different

I told her to listen to her teacher

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skomposzczet 5 points 3 years ago

Gives off "my grandma said Cleopatra was black" vibes.

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ruck_feddit 4 points 3 years ago

Strong "Waterboy" vibes

My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.

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conditional_soup 27 points 3 years ago

I've tried this experiment in Blender by projecting a NASA earth texture onto a circular plane to see if I could even come up with something where the day/night solstice/equinox cycles make any kind of sense, couldn't make it work.

I do think that if you really wanted to upset these folks, though, you'd insist that Australia is actually at the center of the earth.

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mignochrono 6 points 3 years ago

I have never through of that....how is day an night supposed to work on a flat earth? Like Minecraft they just...rotate around? What about the underside of the earth? The other side of the coin....do people live there too? Can we visit them if we dig a hole?

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PeWu 6 points 3 years ago

The flatearthers are gonna hunt you, better not ask those questions

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mignochrono 5 points 3 years ago

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Nerorero 0 points 3 years ago

The sun is apparently more like a flashlight than an orb. That would be the only way this could work, but even Terry Pratchett knew that this doesn't make any sense

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mignochrono 0 points 3 years ago

...wait and how does it become night? Like the lantern gets turn off? What about when it's night in a place but morning on another?

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Nerorero 0 points 3 years ago

It would rotate around, like in the model. Since it's more like a flashlight there would be no scattering of the light. There would only be day right under the sun. That's the only way this would make any sense at all, and even then That's kinda meh

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ruck_feddit 3 points 3 years ago

What do the pillars of the earth stand on?

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PolandIsAStateOfMind 0 points 3 years ago

4 elephants and a turtle.

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AceBonobo 1 point 3 years ago

What does the turtle stand on?

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ruck_feddit 5 points 3 years ago

The elephants

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redcalcium 23 points 3 years ago

All of this effort just to teach your kids... flat earth?! Could've been spent to teach them gardening, electronics, paintings, literally anything else would've been more useful for the child's future.

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bitsplease 14 points 3 years ago

If it makes you feel any better, chances are the kids will learn pretty quick they were taught BS and will probably just disown Mom at some point.

I knew a kid who was home schooled, and while he wasn't taught anything as looney as flat earth, he absolutely knew that some of what he was taught was BS

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bitsplease 3 points 3 years ago

If it makes you feel any better, chances are the kids will learn pretty quick they were taught BS and will probably just disown Mom at some point.

I knew a kid who was home schooled, and while he wasn't taught anything as looney as flat earth, he absolutely knew that some of what he was taught was BS

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buckykat 2 points 3 years ago

It's not just flat earth, spot the mention of "verses." It's the whole young earth creationism belief complex.

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Kaiser 17 points 3 years ago

This physically pains me.

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Catsrules 16 points 3 years ago

Wait so flat earth thinks the earth is flat but the moon and sun are not?? How does that work?

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Grumpy 3 points 3 years ago

What do you mean? You're seeing how it works right here.

Sun and moon are spherical objects suspended by a coat hanger and constantly turned in motion by a higher being.

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Johandea 2 points 3 years ago

See, you first mistake was assuming the flat earth model is internally consistent. It doesn't work. It's just a collection of ad-hoc explanations and made up workarounds, none of which fits with the previous. All to make a few insignificant people feel special.

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stripes 15 points 3 years ago

Reminds me of when I started going to public school and learned about evolution, something my Evangelical parents always taught me was a lie.

Thankfully my education broke me out of that, but it put me behind a little bit.

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Orban 11 points 3 years ago

Jeez man, i can only imagine. At least you were among the lucky ones who were smart and confident enough to resist their parents misbeliefs.

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adude007 15 points 3 years ago

But how would the flat earth get between the floating moon sun orbs to make an eclipse?

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Orban 11 points 3 years ago

How dare you bring logic into this

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adude007 2 points 3 years ago

Yup that was foolish of me.

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stripes 10 points 3 years ago

when in doubt: mysterious shadow object, lmao.

“According to flat-Earth conspiracy theorists, this astronomical phenomenon — known as a total lunar eclipse — was actually a rare opportunity to catch a glimpse of a mysterious "shadow object" that orbits the sun and occasionally passes in front of the moon from our point of view here, on an allegedly pizza-shaped Earth.”

source: https://www.space.com/...

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axtualdave 3 points 3 years ago path: 0 739434 739736 744315, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
adude007 3 points 3 years ago

It’s not that I can’t workout how to make that work with some super massive object. It’s that it’s so ridiculous to do so that I won’t bother. All hail mysterious shadow object!

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collegefurtrader 2 points 3 years ago

I’m going to name it “the mooon”

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conditional_soup 2 points 3 years ago

You're not far off, the actual term for this in astronomy is close to moon, but instead of the extra 'o' in the middle as you have here, it's an 'r'.

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NewEnglandRedshirt 2 points 3 years ago

I hear it's where the Flying Spaghetti Monster lives.

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FaceDeer 1 point 3 years ago

It's one of the meatballs, isn't it?

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adude007 1 point 3 years ago

I’ve been wondering…

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igorlogius 14 points 3 years ago
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kamenoko 2 points 3 years ago

Have these kids even read Discworld?

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igorlogius 1 point 3 years ago
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Aceticon 2 points 3 years ago

Yeah, but even if they tried to stick to a faithful representation of reality, the whole "turtles all the way down" part would be problematic.

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countdankula420 10 points 3 years ago
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GingeyBook 10 points 3 years ago

So how does night time exist in a model like this? It looks like the sun just rotates above the Earth?

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Skunk 5 points 3 years ago

Everyone knows the sun is switched off during night time, DUH !

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Orban 3 points 3 years ago

If i know right, they think the sun has much less power than usual, so it works like a spotlight. So its light wont reach the territories under the moon

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FaceDeer 4 points 3 years ago

Of course. That explains why when day transitions to night you see the Sun zoom off into the distance until it diminishes to nothing, with the Moon zooming in from the opposite direction until it's big enough to see.

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ImFresh3x 1 point 3 years ago

Horizons don’t exist, man.

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MrsDoyle 2 points 3 years ago

Let's not even get into how when I video call my niece in southern New Zealand her garden is covered in snow and it's morning, while it's a warm summer evening where I am.

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Mothra 9 points 3 years ago

You mean to say this horror story has a part 2? :(

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Orban 6 points 3 years ago

I just assumed, thats just too big of a cliffhanger

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milktea 8 points 3 years ago

Serious question, what do the pillars stand on in this concept? Are there other planets? So many questions

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orangeNgreen 11 points 3 years ago

I believe the answer to your question of “what do the pillars stand on” is a turtle. And that turtle stands on another turtle. And that turtle stands on another turtle. And it is turtles all the way down. Though I might be confusing two different beliefs.

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DesolateMood 2 points 3 years ago

I don't know much about religion, but it made me think of this.

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gornar 1 point 3 years ago

I was hoping this was here!

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Orban 6 points 3 years ago

Comeon man.. turtles, infinite amount of turtles

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collegefurtrader 3 points 3 years ago

Turtles

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Droggl 2 points 3 years ago

The giant Turtle

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bobbytables 2 points 3 years ago

Four elephants, which stand on a giant turtle. I think.

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gonzophilosophy 8 points 3 years ago

It's a pretty sweet diorama though. So much easier to make than a globe.

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dan 7 points 3 years ago

Is there a badparents Lemmy group?

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hlqxz 7 points 3 years ago
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luminaree 6 points 3 years ago

As a geoscientist and someone who produces maps (and also just as a human who understands science), this particular flavor of willful ignorance blows my mind. It makes me sad for the kids who trust their parents and will eventually have to unlearn this shit or carry on fundamentally misunderstanding the Earth. I also can't help but wonder what jank projection is being used here to display the continents in 2D lol. Looks like a polar projection centered on the north pole which is why the continents are distorted around the edges ending up with a "wall of ice" all around which is really just a very distorted Antarctica. There's a reason we don't use polar projections to represent the Earth on a global scale.

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Wisi_eu 6 points 3 years ago

C'est une parodie. Dites-moi que c'est une parodie.

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TwoGems 6 points 3 years ago

Rabbits

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renx99 5 points 3 years ago

I always wondered...if the earth is flat then what's on the under side? Why haven't we need able to dig a hole all the way through? Is this all because these people can't get their heads around how gravity works? Why is earth the only flat planet?

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brendandn 4 points 3 years ago

Humanity is over

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instamat 4 points 3 years ago

The kids are probably having a blast, making up nonsensical shit at that age comes naturally to them

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someguy 3 points 3 years ago

Empty toilet paper rolls support the whole flat earth. Big toilet paper doesn't want us to know.

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dottedgreenline 3 points 3 years ago

IRL Wimp Lo.

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Jaxi_is_here 2 points 3 years ago

I’m disappointed but not the least bit shocked

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JizzmasterD 2 points 3 years ago

Flark.

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Flughoernchen 2 points 3 years ago

Can we talk about the "map" itself for a moment? They traced a map on a light board to cut out the continents and this abomination is the best they could do?

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Setarkus 3 points 3 years ago

It seems like the kids did that, so I wouldn't expect too much of it

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GingeyBook 2 points 3 years ago
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zephyrvs 1 point 3 years ago
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carl_dungeon 2 points 3 years ago

This really should be illegal.

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Fixbeat 1 point 3 years ago
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pulaskiwasright 3 points 3 years ago

We might need it when the GOP finish destroying education across the country.

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PRUSSIA_x86 3 points 3 years ago

Don't remind me.

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Sniper 3 points 3 years ago
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Fixbeat 1 point 3 years ago
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01189998819991197253 1 point 3 years ago

I thought this was a joke.

Edit: I mean, the whole flat earth movement thing. I'm realizing now, that these people are serious...

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Machefi -1 points 3 years ago
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galloog1 4 points 3 years ago

Would you say the same thing if it was teaching the civic merits of National Socialism? Say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, at least it's an ethos.

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Yawweee877h444 2 points 3 years ago

The dude abides

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