Needed a new way to blow up my marriage

I realized I needed to text her that I had something I wanted to bring up about myself. Nothing I thought was bad or anything but told her I needed to text her to keep from chickening out.

So when we were able to talk, I broke down into tears and said "I think I might be trans"

And in an effort to save our marriage and family I needed to be 100% honest with her about my feelings and I needed that in return from her. Even if that means she was struggling to cope.

Again, we have been talking about it from when we wake up to when we go to sleep. Recontextualizing our entire relationship (been together for 15+ years and have a 15mo)

I have found it really affirming to hear her bring up some instances and behaviors in the past that now make total sense to her. I haven't felt this close to her in years and she's willing to support me even though the future for us is kind of uncertain.

She told me this morning I was practically glowing and she could see this massive weight lifted off of me. She told me she missed me so much and is glad to have me back.

I can't say that is how your partner will react and it's still not smooth sailing but keeping the communication going is crucial.

Good luck friend! I'm rooting for you and am here if you wanna talk. I'm new to all of this myself, but I hate the feeling of not knowing who I could talk to in my life about these things.

Thank you for this post. I cracked my egg a week ago today and feel like I can't move fast enough but at the same time terrified to move TOO fast for my network of support. Which is a total of 2 people including my therapist, lol

Thank you! I'm fighting with the thoughts of not being pretty enough to do any meaningful changes? But I think a lot of that is coming from what I see in the mirror currently. He feels so lost and hollow and I don't see "me" yet. I don't even know what I look like

First time someone's called me a girl and I can't stop grinning and blushing. Thank you ❤️

Came here to say this. Love this movie and it's unique premise.

Girl, I spent time on egg_irl back when I thought i was some sort of open minded cis man. Thinking the memes were hilarious for "some reason"

Even showed some memes to my wife because they're "funny" but I "definitely wasn't trans because of course not!"

It went from idle curiosity - to being "a good ally" by better understanding the trans community - to "oh fuck this is me?"

I remember feeling so sure I wasn't trans and the memes were just quality content 😆

I know hindsight is 20/20, but damn I was blind to sooo many signs through my whole life.

Well, hate to be another but you're beautiful and my goals as well. I just cracked 2 weeks ago though so I'm still new to it all. ❤️

This really spoke to me. It makes a lot of sense and helps me better understand these emotions and defenses. Thank you so much :)

I've definitely been seeing just how depressed I was. I generally didn't think there was a way out and wasnt afraid to die. Didn't care if I died. But now I see what's on the other side and realize I can actually be happy but in order to do that I have to change. And change is really hard for me to be comfortable with

Thank you for helping me get back to reality. I get so overwhelmed and get ahead of myself when I need to slow down and take things slowly. ❤️

I am so proud of you for taking the step to being able to tell your family! Let alone working on showing them how to love you. We're all the same people we were before - were just now MORE of ourselves that we thought was possible.

I love you for coming out to those around you. I'm not quite ready for that yet. My wife and therapist knows, but no one else so far. Kinda scared of that part. Lol

Thank you for normalizing these feelings for me ❤️ I'm also struggling with the concept of gender being a spectrum. Although I feel more feminine than masculine, there are aspects of myself I don't necessarily want to lose. I don't know. I don't even know how far I want to transition. I think I'd be willing to do HRT, but I'm also worried about my intimacy with my wife. I hear it can change libido as well as the functionality of my penis.

I don't know. I hate feeling like I know exactly who I want to be now, but at the same time no idea how far I'm comfortable with going? Not to mention the stress it puts on my marriage and family.

Been having another really rough day today and I don't have support from anyone other than my wife who is currently too overwhelmed to be able to talk about this stuff. Which I understand.

I'm rambling. Sorry, I know you were being nice about reaching out - but I could really use a friend who has been going through this too 😕

Same! I have been counting all the times I shut myself down when I was getting a little too comfortable with my true self.

Finger nail polish was fun until a teacher yelled at me for being a distraction.

Shaving my arms and legs was fun until I realized how nice it made me feel.

Watching my mom put on makeup and wanting to try it until she started asking if I was gay. (I mean yes, but not in the way you think mom 😏)

I think in your case it really comes down to transcoding the streams. If your player doesn't support a video format, the Plex server will have to transcode it into a format that's viewable. A pi might not be able to handle multiple transcodes at a time.

I personally use a Synology nas for my server and haven't had any issues, but can be expensive.

Hi Yuna! Thanks for the welcome :) girl, do I relate to the hair stuff. My wife actually recommended I try nair because I have hair everywhere and I feel like a ball of gross. Gonna take the time tonight to shave everything (something I played with around my teenage years but my inner voice said it was "too girly" so I stopped)

I'm looking forward to feeling smooth and soft. It's going to be the first thing I change/explore.

Really happy to hear nobody seemed "offended" by you being your true self. That's gonna be a hard one for me I think. I have some friends who I know would support and understand. But probably not my family and my workplace is very macho (I'm in the finance sector, so think wolf of Wall Street) and I don't think I could ever be brave enough there.

I keep telling my wife and my self that I have just wanted to feel pretty for so long. And now I realize I can feel pretty. It's not too girly because damn it I'm girly!

Thank you ❤️

It's such a bizarre feeling. Thinking you're seeing yourself in the mirror your entire life and then realizing that the real you is buried.

I see a glimmer of my true self in my eyes now. I already look lighter if that makes sense. More happy. Just by working on my self acceptance.

I'm here for you as you have been for me! We can get through this together ❤️

I'm having a lot of those thoughts too. Both feelings of confidence and love for myself and more depressive thoughts like I'm just too tired to do this? Now I know why I have had chronic depression and anxiety - but also 29 years of that really takes the wind out of your sails sometimes.

Dj Roomba as a reference to PnR. And Disco, DJs older brother

29 here. Just realized I was trans so worried I missed out on being able to pass as I transition 😞

Definitely meant as in I had no idea either and you helped me learn something today ☺️