[M]y wife and I are mid twenties, live on our own. We have sex usually once a day a couple days in a row and then none for a week or two.

Both of us have reasonable libido but we're usually horny at different times of day so it just doesn't line up super well. The sex we do have is really good though.

I also masturbate daily and she does sometimes as well, though less often since we got married I'm told.

So the way federation works, that just kinda naturally happens as nsfw instances are fine with each others' content and other instances aren't.

lemmynsfw isn't being blocked from all federation, it's just one big instance that won't federate with us. That means users on that instance won't see content from here, and that comments from accounts here won't make it to that instance.

Any other lemmy server, such as other nsfw instances, are perfectly able to federate with us.

At least for my own part I don't often like to fap to the same content twice, so saving is mostly pointless.

I'd consider amateur a non full-time creator that doesn't make money from their content besides by ads.

So no OF, but posts on free ad-supported sites are still amateur unless it's done full time.