Hehe

3 years ago by The Picard Maneuver to c/funny

Imgonnatrythis 63 points 3 years ago

This is also the implied response of every doordash delivery person everytime I pay $35 for what shows up as a cold—ass paninni 75minutes after my order and I've irrevocably "pre" tipped them 18% for the delivery.

path: 0 9079132, hotness: undefined, score: 63, children: 36
I_Clean_Here 77 points 3 years ago

I mean, stop using doordash

path: 0 9079132 9080495, hotness: undefined, score: 77, children: 0
Fiivemacs 35 points 3 years ago

That's on you...

path: 0 9079132 9080079, hotness: undefined, score: 35, children: 0
Psychodelic 34 points 3 years ago

Every time

Every.. time? That is just absolutely insane to me. I've literally never used that kind of service and I can't understand how so many people pay so much money for that it

You must have a lot of disposable income or something

path: 0 9079132 9082529, hotness: undefined, score: 34, children: 6
Imgonnatrythis 14 points 3 years ago

It's a mixed bag. Imagine having only three restaurants that deliver to you (and two suck) and then all the sudden you have a whole city of restaurants that are available to you and you hardly ever have time or want to deal with going into the city to do a pickup. That's my experience. I don't use it everyday or every week, but it just stinks that when I do it's very expensive and hey, maybe that's justiable (freemarket whatever), but to have service issues where clearly zero effort was made to transport the stuff appropriately feels like a real "hehe".

path: 0 9079132 9082529 9083517, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 4
LaVacaMariposa 14 points 3 years ago

It seems like it would be much cheaper and better to just go to the restaurant and eat there instead of dumping money on doordash

path: 0 9079132 9082529 9083517 9085171, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 3
vardogor 6 points 3 years ago

i had to use it when i didn't have a car and couldn't get groceries or whatever sometimes. nice little tool to keep the poor poorer

path: 0 9079132 9082529 9083517 9085171 9085744, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1
Socsa 1 point 3 years ago

Ok, I'll do that when Burger King lets me smoke a fat blunt in their dining room.

path: 0 9079132 9082529 9083517 9085171 9114015, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Socsa 3 points 3 years ago

It makes more sense if you are actually in an urban area. I get hot food in 20 minutes from the places within a few blocks. I assume the people complaining are out in the suburbs or are ordering food from far away.

path: 0 9079132 9082529 9113998, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
IndiBrony 17 points 3 years ago

cold ass—paninni

path: 0 9079132 9081227, hotness: undefined, score: 17, children: 1
watson387 10 points 3 years ago

I prefer my ass-paninnis warm, thanks.

path: 0 9079132 9081227 9085619, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
pearsaltchocolatebar 14 points 3 years ago

I'm pretty sure you can adjust the tip after delivery.

Also, the 18% is likely why your food is cold. Dashers are expecting over 25% now (which is part of why I stopped using them).

You're lucky that the food being cold is all that's wrong, because some entitled assholes will fuck with your food if the tip isn't high enough (even though they accepted the job knowing the tip)

path: 0 9079132 9079511, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 21
NekoRogue 26 points 3 years ago

As a former dasher myself, dashers are expecting that because it needs to be worth the time, cost of gas, and wear and tear on their car to even do the order.

Doordash only pays around $2.50 per order. If it's a really bad one (long distance, a slow restaurant that takes up a lot of time, long driving distance) DoorDash might add a dollar or two to get someone to take it. If your food is cold, it's probably because no one wanted to take your order because it wasn't worth it, so you have to wait until a driver who doesn't understand that they're spending more money than they're making takes a bad order. Sometimes the restaurant is slow or says an order is ready when it isn't. The "tip" is pretty much the whole pay for the order. And if the tip is really good, sometimes DoorDash takes part of it without telling anyone.

Also, DoorDash doesn't always show you the whole tip amount. There's a note that says "the actual tip may be higher." Usually it's not, but they leave that "maybe" in there to bait you into acceptimg orders that cost more to deliver than you earn.

There are definitely some shitty drivers. But a lot of people don't have a choice but to do gig jobs. People with disabilities who need to have flexible schedules because they don't qualify for disability assistance and they can't commit to a schedule because of random symptom flare ups. People with criminal records. People with social anxiety. Minorities. People learning English.

DoorDash is to blame here, not the drivers. They need to call it something other than a "tip." The suggested "tip" amount should be based on the driving distance, not a percentage of the order cost. And they should pay drivers more out of the "service fees" they get for sitting back doing nothing and letting the app print money for them.

Let's blame the right people here.

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9082805, hotness: undefined, score: 26, children: 2
southsamurai 9 points 3 years ago

Preach!

Straight up, the drivers need a union.

And back during covid, it was the drivers that helped keep some places from going under because they would have otherwise not been able to have customers at all.

I may not be able to afford the cost, but I respect the fuck out of people doing the work and want them to get paid properly.

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9082805 9085583, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 0
LEONHART 3 points 3 years ago

THANK YOU. 👍

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9082805 9086157, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Imgonnatrythis 16 points 3 years ago

Really don't think you can adjust it anymore, think that was an old feature. I assumed they were blinded to the tip - you are saying the tip amount actually acts like a bidding war for even getting people to accept the order? That's even poorer design than I thought.

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9079672, hotness: undefined, score: 16, children: 1
NekoRogue 5 points 3 years ago

UberEats still allows it, I believe. But people abuse that feature by "tip baiting" someone to take their order, then removing the tip after the driver has already spent the time, gas, and effort to deliver it. The driver could spend an hour on the order and only make $2.50 during that time, minus the cost of gas. Happens a lot with orders that are several miles away from the restaurant especially, because no one wants to pay enough to make the trip worth it for the driver.

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9079672 9082915, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
samus12345 10 points 3 years ago

If extra money is given before service is rendered, it's not a tip, but a bribe.

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9081651, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
HottieAutie 9 points 3 years ago

I knew someone that was a dasher. She told me she would eat people's food and totally mess with it, regardless of the tip. After hearing her stories, I never order door dash or similar anymore.

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9080181, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 8
Spider89 9 points 3 years ago

Isn't that illegal?

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9080181 9080200, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 7
HottieAutie 14 points 3 years ago

Possibly, but that wouldn't have stopped her. If anything, it would have encouraged her. She also stole a lot from stores and friends and was an insane liar. She was a complete piece of shit human.

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9080181 9080200 9080229, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 5
Socsa 1 point 3 years ago

Most places have started putting security stickers on their bags. These days if anything goes wrong it's just straight up that the food doesn't get delivered.

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9080181 9080200 9114140, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
NewNewAccount 9 points 3 years ago

Expecting 25%? Where are you hearing this?

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9081236, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 3
Imgonnatrythis 17 points 3 years ago

I really need to shut up about this, but can't help myself. Who the hell brainwashed society into using percentages on delivery? For a restaurant there is at least a rough correlation between the work done by the server, the time they've spent tending to you, and the cost of the meal. Tipping falls apart under any kind of logical analysis, but there's like at least a little bit of sense in using a percentage here. If I order a $10 burger that you drop off on my porch should I pay you 10x more if you drop off a $100 steak? If you answered yes, please just get fucked.

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9081236 9082241, hotness: undefined, score: 17, children: 2
flicker 5 points 3 years ago

I agree with you but I believe I have an answer. The implication is, if you can afford to buy the $100 steak, you can afford to tip more. And if you can't afford to tip more, you shouldn't but the steak.

Which is horrible, and dumb, and tipping is garbage. But that's where that comes from.

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9081236 9082241 9082945, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
Socsa 2 points 3 years ago

I drove for a decade before the apps and this is exactly how it worked. Tipping expectation was proportional to distance and most people understood this. If the order was big enough to require multiple trips to the car (basically a catering order or like 20+ pizzas) we'd expect another $5 or so.

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9081236 9082241 9114114, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Kusimulkku 3 points 3 years ago

Fucking hell. Glad the robots are taking over food delivery.

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9080388, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1
Imgonnatrythis 1 point 3 years ago

Count yourself lucky if you hace access to that. A ways away for most of us.

path: 0 9079132 9079511 9080388 9080480, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
gearheart 12 points 3 years ago

Half the time I've doordashed I swear the driver eats some of my food.

I call the restaurant due to the missing food and they don't understand why when they double checked the order.

Yeah... I don't door dash anymore.

path: 0 9079132 9083215, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 0
Chev 1 point 3 years ago

Just get yourself a home cook

path: 0 9079132 9112632, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
TheRedSpade 1 point 3 years ago

I'm just gonna drop this here for future readers.

path: 0 9079132 9113194, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
ChickenLadyLovesLife 18 points 3 years ago

"Poor product quality, delivery time below expectation" is like the old joke:

"The food here is terrible."
"Yes, and such small portions."

path: 0 9089578, hotness: undefined, score: 18, children: 11
watersnipje 11 points 3 years ago

I don’t get it

path: 0 9089578 9090147, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 10
kromem 10 points 3 years ago

If it's inedible why does the amount you can't eat matter?

path: 0 9089578 9090147 9092403, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
wieson 6 points 3 years ago

Why would you want bigger portions of bad food (is my guess)

path: 0 9089578 9090147 9111193, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
guiguinofake 5 points 3 years ago

Me neither

path: 0 9089578 9090147 9090505, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 7
MeDuViNoX 0 points 3 years ago

I think it's like, "You get what you pay for." but I'm not really sure either.

path: 0 9089578 9090147 9090505 9097399, hotness: undefined, score: 0, children: 6
tocopherol 9 points 3 years ago

It's a classic simple joke probably decades old, but the humor is in the implication they want a bigger portion of something bad. Edit: ah it seems to be from the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall: https://www.goodreads.com/...

There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.

path: 0 9089578 9090147 9090505 9097399 9104377, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 5
anas 15 points 3 years ago

we do a little trolling

path: 0 9098510, hotness: undefined, score: 15, children: 1
randomuser38529 6 points 3 years ago

we engage in a mild amount of tomfoolery

path: 0 9098510 9111353, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
Vigilante 12 points 3 years ago

Get pranked boyo

path: 0 9078743, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 0
iAvicenna 10 points 3 years ago

heard Micheal Jackson in my head

path: 0 9103225, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 2
BuryMyHorse 4 points 3 years ago

He(he) is out there selling fake shoes fr

path: 0 9103225 9104224, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
MrJollyLivesNextDoor 4 points 3 years ago

Shamone

path: 0 9103225 9104100, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
Acronychal 9 points 3 years ago

It's so easy to tell what's fake on these online marketplaces, though. They're usually as upfront as possible about it with all the obscure vendor names. REMOLER. Look, I just made one up myself.

path: 0 9078601, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 3
VelociCatTurd 32 points 3 years ago

Well with Amazon specifically they’re prone to putting counterfeit shit and real shit in the same pile so.

path: 0 9078601 9078868, hotness: undefined, score: 32, children: 0
Blizzard 15 points 3 years ago

hehe

path: 0 9078601 9078805, hotness: undefined, score: 15, children: 0
thefartographer 3 points 3 years ago

ShutUpAndTakeMyMoney.bat

path: 0 9078601 9078972, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
MadBob 8 points 3 years ago

I don't know the name of the anime face where they have one hand on the back of their head and a big globule of sweat appears, but it would've been mildly funny to post a picture of it, so please imagine I've posted one.

path: 0 9106423, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 3
Patches 2 points 3 years ago
path: 0 9106423 9111399, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 2
TheRedSpade 3 points 3 years ago

I'm pretty sure this is closer to what MadBob was describing (I couldn't find one with their hand on the back of their head though).

path: 0 9106423 9111399 9113374, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1
Patches 1 point 3 years ago

!Whoosh?!<

path: 0 9106423 9111399 9113374 9113514, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
ZeDoTelhado 3 points 3 years ago

Seller response when people point out the sneakers are fake: he he The moment Amazon closes down the store and listings and stops all customer support on sales: not he he

path: 0 9079584, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 6
Signtist 35 points 3 years ago

The moment he moves to one of his 27 other stores that haven't been taken down: he he.

path: 0 9079584 9080437, hotness: undefined, score: 35, children: 3
ZeDoTelhado 10 points 3 years ago

That is for sure a plague on amazon right now. That and product swapping while keeping reviews. I wonder when this stuff get curbed, but something tells me amazon is getting enough money to overlook this

path: 0 9079584 9080437 9080990, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 2
Crashumbc 1 point 3 years ago

It's like shoplifting, stores factor in a certain percentage of loss as expectable.

path: 0 9079584 9080437 9080990 9095958, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
SeabassDan 1 point 3 years ago

Might as well get in on the gift at this point

path: 0 9079584 9080437 9080990 9086073, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
phx 3 points 3 years ago

Ha! Brave assumption there but I haven't seen them take down counterfeit LISTINGS let alone sellers that I've reported, at least until I provided info on the infringement to the MPAA (only time I've ever had a use for them).

path: 0 9079584 9096254, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Steve 1 point 3 years ago

Yea right

path: 0 9079584 9082964, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
LemmyKnowsBest 2 points 3 years ago

Leaving a mess...

path: 0 9102340, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
funny
funny

@sh.itjust.works

login for more options
16435
2810
6865

General rules:

  • Be kind.
  • All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
  • Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
  • No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
  • Don't post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

go to feed...