Hey man. Coupling and parenting is tough, believe me I know. Among other things the constant tiredness is really something that makes relationships hard, communication becomes really hard and misunderstandings, assumptions, and unfortunately resentment can build pretty quickly and easily. We've been going to counselling for about 18 months this time around, had a break before that and before that about another year with a different therapist. Seems like we are in similar boats as I was requesting it for a fair while before my partner agreed. If I can give you some advice for the counselling....try to go in with a completely open mind, as in don't assume you know everything about the feelings involved, situational history etc. I had to come to terms with some stuff about myself pretty quickly that I didn't even realise I did/do... If you both go in ready to work on things, ready to understand the others viewpoint, ready to be honest...that's the best you can do. The people you were are likely still there, the things you love about your partner are likely still there, just that they're being hammered by responsibilities that no one knows the full extent of before having kids. I hope things improve for you, and you and your partner can have some real understanding and compassion for each other.
Daily discussion thread: 🧌 Monday, May 27, 2024
2 years ago by Seagoon_ to c/melbourne
so much this...it's terrifying how quickly you can become antagonistic strangers to each other when you're both overloaded and stressed out to fuck. And then you have like, a conversation, and his huge beast of this is the end in your head just becomes this silly misunderstanding.
Cheers. You're absolutely right about communication. Never something we've excelled at. In retrospect really something we shoulda locked down BEFORE putting the relationship of a pressure cooker of a kid.
Hope it works out for you mate. It sucks, but counselling is a great first step. We did it after having our 2nd kid and it helped immensely.
Maybe the kid was the catalyst that was needed. It was for us. Our first settled into solid sleep patterns in like 6 weeks, our 2nd took nearly a year to sleep through the night. We were so edgy and grumpy we started to take little things out on each other.
Sorry to hear. Relationships are tough, especially with kids. Be gentle with yourself and try to respond to the situation and conversations rather than react/defend. Hope the counsellor helps, either way though, from someone who has had 2 marriages end before 40, leaving is sometimes the best option for everyone and life gets to be great again given time. Relationships are absolutely worth fighting for but its definitely not a failure to walk away
Hope the counsellor helps, either way though, from someone who has had 2 marriages end before 40, leaving is sometimes the best option for everyone and life gets to be great again given time. Relationships are absolutely worth fighting for but its definitely not a failure to walk away
Cheers, yeah agreed. No sense setting ourselves on fire to keep the other warm.
Woops. Apparently had a tiny bingle while parking on a narrow mountain trail in Japan and was in such a rush that I didn't even notice I had bumped into anyone else. The other driver had a dashcam though so they got in touch with the police and I had an urgent email from the rental company, who thank god took care of everything - there was no excess or fine or anything and they reassured me it was all okay and everything was covered. Couldn't sleep last night from the anxiety and just gave a statement at the cop shop so that the relative insurances could follow up. I'm so grateful for the lovely lady at the rental car place who was extremely calming and reassuring... 😔
So stressful in a foreign country! Glad it turned out OK.
I just went to a doc appointment. We discussed migraines. An hour later I’m on instagram and I get a migraine medication ad. I had not googled anything about migraines or headaches or anything vaguely related. I’ve been working in tech for over 20 years now, and I’m now convinced it is all listening. It’s not just a paranoia any more.
Yeh damn. Reminds me of that online therapy company that was busted a few years back for turning around and selling the details of your session after it ended. Advertisers need to pull there noses out of certain fields I reckon
Just applied for new internal role for first time ever, been here over four years. Fingers crossed
🤞🤞🤞
Good luck!
Good luck!
Welp the call this morning with MC doctor was short and sweet. Just said she'll add some prescriptions to my portal in a few hours and we'll have a follow-up in a couple of weeks. And to reach out with any questions or anything.
In other news, our new MacBook Pros arrived in the office today (we bought 6 and one is for me) so I'm currently on a tram to go get it. It's a gorgeous day outside.
I had to chose some options from the list, then message the doc to submit those choices to the TGA for approval. I'm still waiting on TGA approval.
The doc setup the catalogue while we were talking, I mentioned some researched strains I was interested in. Some avail, some not. I laters on reviewed the catalogue, chose 3, messaged them to the doc who then applied for tga approval.
Interesting.. so what happened with me is that I said I had no idea what I was choosing so she said she'd set up a prescription for me with 3 products. This afternoon they appeared in the Purchase section and I just had to select them and pay for them. Now it's with the pharmacy to prepare.
I did do a bit of research and picked slightly different things from the catalogue than she prescribed but I'll go with what she said and see how it goes.
I'm getting a latch for the toilet door. She's figured out how to open it. Lucky she doesn't have opposable thumbs...
Looks comfy. Glad my cat isn’t smart enough to do that 🤣
And yet if I move my foot ever so slightly in her direction by accident, she'll fly away as if I've tried to assault her lol
wow that's sounds like a clusterduck. I hope it remains a vaguely stable place for you despite everyone else's mess. Please vent all you need here.
Yeah, every organisation I interact with seems to have all the same issues - everyone is stretched too thin. Not that community care was ever not stretched. Hopefully you can sit back and watch it play out.
Made a kickass lentil soup yesterday for dinner. Really hit the spot.
As much as I love lentils and how good they are for me, my digestive tract gets a bit upset the following day.
Love me some Lentils. Really getting into the beans and lentils lately! Price of meat certainly helps. I had a crack at a coconut chickpea curry. Pride forced me to finish the plate, but the Mrs was diplomatic in her "Yeahhhhhh look I appreciate the effort and I'm sure you'll get it right next time! but... i couldn't finish it"
Since starting to shop at my local asian grocer, my curry game has lifted. The thai and malaysian curry bases are heavens above anything from Colesworth.
Beans and coconut rice are good too.
That looks really good. I'd do things a little bit differently though. I wouldn't put the sugar or the salt in. I'd stir the spices in after the capsicum with the garlic and some ginger. Season at the end.
Funnily enough, I only put sugar and salt at the end after I've checked the flavour. This one didn't need the sugar at all, but some might like it a bit sweeter.
If you're in the city have a dip into one there (time permitted of course). There's a few on Elizabeth St. There's one that's not bad in Melb Central (next to the coles).
I know they've got heaps of Chinese, Japanese and Korean stuff. Maybe not so much Thai and Malay and such.
Are you 24hr soaking and rinsing the lentils? That's the only tip I have for digestive comfort in the lentil category.
Red lentils and Mae Ploy Yellow curry paste are my jam.
Rinsing, yes but not soaking. I'll give that a shot actually. I tend to get similar effects from canned lentils, so not sure if it will help, but why not.
Mae Ploy is literally the brand I had in mind. Got the red and yellow curries in the fridge. The red one has a bit of kick to it though. I use that one sparsely.
I think the yellow is vegetarian, no shrimp paste. Or at least that's what it used to be. I haven't had many strict vegetarians over to dinner lately.
There's a herb called angelica - yep the same stuff that gets candied into stringy green strips - but the leaves used fresh is GREAT for reducing the fart component of lentils/beans/peas/asparagus. If you have a garden, then might be worth growing some. Add a frond to the beans as they cook and hoist it out before serving cos quite stringy. Epazote does the same thing but might be easier to find on iherb or similar. I wouldn't cook legumes from scratch without epazote now.
Late reply, but Casa Iberica has dried epazote in stock quite regularly.
Asafoetida powder is used to a similar effect in Indian cuisine. I've also heard dried kelp (eg Japanese kombu) has a similar effect.
Soaking and throwing away the soak water can help draw out some of the farty compounds. However an increase in gas from legumes is normal to a degree, it’s your microbiome digesting all the good stuff, and the gut will adjust if you eat legumes regularly. Also, if using canned, throw away the water and give a very good rinse. Same principle, the water contains lots of the fatty stuff.
Movie review. Anatomy of a Fall. A very subtle and powerful story of sexism ( I'm sure the town wouldn't have pursued her if she was "nice" ) and male ego ( husband just couldn't bear her success nor the social belief that being a carer has no value. ) Reminded me of witch trials.
Slow movie, very much worth it.
4.5 hobbits
It's a Sunday kind of Monday ...
I had a June kind of May moment earlier.
....... pakige ........
I fucking hate recruiters. Guy rings me Friday 4pm. I call him back, he's on a call.
I leave a message.
I call back this morning. "he's in a meeting". Sure sure buddy. An almost 5 hour meeting for a recruiter.
Get absolutely fucked.
/Rant
“he’s in a meeting”
Nup, him and his dickhead recruiter mates are all having a circle jerk over a mirror in the boardroom. Sometimes they let the realestate agents from next door join in. Its the only way either of 'em ever get any love.
You made me laugh out loud, and for that I'm grateful ❤️
It could be reasonable that they are sometimes on calls, eg interviews reference checks, client calls etc, but I reckon not returning your call twice is probably a sign. The right thing will come along.
You're right. I just let myself get upset. I went to the gym after writing that message and felt much better afterwards.
I swear the happy chemicals from the gym make it worthwhile. Even without the physical results.
Nothing makes you more aware of how dirty your car is than handing the keys to someone else.
Laughs in dirt road…. Car always dirty.
Is it possible to eat cocktail frankfurts without tomato sauce or is that a crazy person thing?
Not crazy as such, just very very strange.
Wild proposition, I guess in theory yes, but would be a no from me.
Scrambled eggs on toast with smoked salmon and a cup of coffee please.
Triple taco Tuesday treat please
TV Review. Wrong Side of the Tracks. Spanish drama series on Netflix.
Truly the best depiction of dumb teenagers I have ever seen. The dumb just doesn't stop, it's like as if that's what they are and can't help it. Seriously, the best dumb teenagers evah.
Vigilante series . Makes me ask myself what I would do if I were these characters.
4 hobbits.
Try 2 of my favourite films:
Paris, Texas. This one rocked me.
Dead man. The only film that Neil young scored.
Dead Man is my favourite film, and my favourite Billy Bob Thornton line - By God, I'm hit. Lord have mercy. Burns like hellfire. You son of a bitch. I'm gonna have to kill somebody now.
Always thought this was cool regarding the score - Young recorded the soundtrack by improvising (mostly on Old Black, his famously customized electric guitar, with some acoustic guitar, piano and organ) as he watched the newly edited film alone in a recording studio.
@aussie.zone
This community is a place created for the people of Melbourne and Victoria. We are a positive, welcoming and inclusive community. We might not agree about everything, but we always strive to stay civil and respectful.
The focus of our discussions is based around things that affect Victoria, but we are also free to discuss our local perspective on wider issues. Or head to the regular Daily Random Discussion thread to talk about anything.
Ongoing discussions, FAQs & Resources (still under construction)
Adoption Certificate for Nellie, the Daily Thread numbat (with thanks to @Catfish)
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@aussie.zone
This community is a place created for the people of Melbourne and Victoria. We are a positive, welcoming and inclusive community. We might not agree about everything, but we always strive to stay civil and respectful.
The focus of our discussions is based around things that affect Victoria, but we are also free to discuss our local perspective on wider issues. Or head to the regular Daily Random Discussion thread to talk about anything.
Ongoing discussions, FAQs & Resources (still under construction)
Adoption Certificate for Nellie, the Daily Thread numbat (with thanks to @Catfish)
go to feed...
Bit of a shitty weekend. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, so I guess you guys are it. I don't really wanna got into specifics, cause it may not happen and i don't want this to be identifiable. So I started looking at apartments over the weekend. Somethings happened and I'm just not sure this is sustainable. To the point where a small 2 bed unit and 50/50 custody is starting to look appealing.
We've got couples therapy booked for end of next month (something I've been requesting for a while now). Will see if they can help us figure some stuff out.
This is the first time I've said this stuff out loud, so even hitting that Post button is... tough. like I'm making it real or somethin.
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