Rules for Fae

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16725859

Rule

Alt text: a text post that reads: Work in retail long enough, and you'll eventually realize the rules for dealing with Customers are exactly the same as dealing with the Fae:

Avoid eye contact.

Never reveal your full name.

Accept nothing They offer you.

Never verbally agree or disagree with anything They might happen to say.

To apologize is to acknowledge a debt owed.

Under no circumstances are you ever to thank Them.

Remember that They are incapable of reading signs in human languages.

neo 50 points 2 years ago

I'm trying to come up with a dialogue that follows these rules, but it gets weird fast.

You ghoulishly sloush around the aisles, avoiding eye contact at all cost, but still a customer talks to you:

C: "Hi, excuse me. I'm looking for tomatoes."

You: "We are out for today."

C: "Oh, that's unfortunate."

You: "" (still avoiding eye contact)

C: "Well, how about I come back tomorrow?"

You: "There will be a new shipment of tomatoes by tomorrow."

C: "Okay, great! Then I just come back tomorrow?"

You: "If you come back tomorrow, there will be a new shipment of tomatoes."

C: "Are you alright?"

Avoiding eye contact, you silently slither away.

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activ8r 28 points 2 years ago

Uh-huh. What's wrong with that? Seems perfect.

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RandomLegend 21 points 2 years ago

Describes my typical retail experience, i wouldn't call that weird at all :D

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Amir 18 points 2 years ago

This seems accurate

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Tropper 13 points 2 years ago

I don't know why, but I can only read this in a robot-like monotone way. Which makes it so much better.

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pearsaltchocolatebar 42 points 2 years ago

I mean, that might be true if you don't have any customer service skills. I did my time in food service, retail, and hospitality and I was good at my job because I broke pretty much every one of those rules.

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edgemaster72 57 points 2 years ago

No amount of soft skills will get people to read signs though

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neo 24 points 2 years ago

I haven't read your post, but you are obviously wrong!

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Vagabondshad2 7 points 2 years ago

Facts

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pearsaltchocolatebar 4 points 2 years ago

Now that one is true

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InquisitiveApathy 40 points 2 years ago

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RootBeerGuy 14 points 2 years ago

How long ago and in which country? Because it seems particularly the US is seen as a bad place for that and especially recently.

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pearsaltchocolatebar 3 points 2 years ago

It's in the US, and it's been a minute, but things have always been bad regarding customers. You just gotta know how to handle the bad ones.

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Potatos_are_not_friends 10 points 2 years ago

I can see these rules being applied if you worked at a fast food min wage or a supermarket as a stocker in a bad store. I'm referring to places where Karens abuse fresh wide-eyed teenagers hoping to change the world. In my city right now, there's a bunch of places like that, like a Wendy's in the hood or a Supermarket that has to lock up mouthwash. Its depressing.

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MonkderDritte 16 points 2 years ago

Is that a US thing? Not here atleast.

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azrendelmare 13 points 2 years ago

It is a US thing, although exaggerated for comedy. At least when I was in retail, I did several of those things.

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Reznik 6 points 2 years ago

This is the reason why retail is dying.

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