American military recruitment tactics

2 years ago by The Picard Maneuver to c/noncredibledefense

PugJesus 145 points 2 years ago

"State-sanctioned GF"

But then how will they ever get recruits for the Navy?

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nuke 129 points 2 years ago

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lud 34 points 2 years ago

Jokes on them, I'm on land.

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Bruhh 47 points 2 years ago

Ok pal

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lud 16 points 2 years ago

Well, I'm inside a house. Good luck hitting me!

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SkybreakerEngineer 17 points 2 years ago

Shipmate you gotta study more recce

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ThePyroPython 81 points 2 years ago

State-sanctioned cat-boys.

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GluWu 17 points 2 years ago

Morale liaison

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Tar_alcaran 28 points 2 years ago

Girlfriend is for on land only.

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EuroNutellaMan 21 points 2 years ago

either the navy becomes full of lesbians or they'll hand out state bf

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uriel238 15 points 2 years ago

Recruits don't have to start gay.

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Mobile 2 points 2 years ago

😂

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EuroNutellaMan 53 points 2 years ago

time to hodl untill state gf

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CanadaPlus 17 points 2 years ago

Yeah, that's actually the least dumb one after a stable job. Everyone wants money, status and love. Even pride in your nation can be cringe, depending on how justified that pride actually is.

Of course, women are not objects, so I'm unclear how they would pull handing them out off... It's going to be a robot RealDoll thing, isn't it?

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Riven 11 points 2 years ago

They could probably get girls signing up if they posted ads saying that they're looking for stay at home girlfriends/boipussy for servicemen. Lots of states with no easy way to escape have desperate people unfortunately.

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CanadaPlus 5 points 2 years ago

Yeah, but you can already dependa without government help. I guess just a sugardaddy-style dating site run by the DoD, then?

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Riven 2 points 2 years ago

Yea lul, it would be way easier to just sign up on a gov sponsored app and go than to try and look yourself.

Still a meme anyways.

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Barzaria 2 points 2 years ago

Well let me tell you, the market is already taking care of this need. There is a long established tradition in the US military of partners for our servicepeople being stay at home people. I have witnessed people get divorced from one enlisted person and marry another within a short time span. I'm not assigning moral value to this set of actions, but I think the gf from the state meme kind of already exists, but it's implicit. Making that some form of guarantee would be pretty heinous in my opinion because it would be likely to break the assortative mating that we humans are so fond of (we sort into mating categories for absolutely good reason). The power to date/mate outside of your league is typically reserved for higher-ups in power hierarchies. The tantalizing promise that the underlings in these hierarchies can get that power is one of the main lures ised to get people to support fascism. I think the logic goes: If the boss has all the power in the world and needs me, the common goon, to secure that power, then the boss is likely to toss a few crumbs of power to me. I might be able to date outside of my league, one or two rungs. I can stand the boss breaking the natural order because I'm assuming that I will get to one day be the boss or I will be rewarded by the boss with some power. I went to Dubai and visited the big water park there. The population there is heavily stratified. The couple makeup was almost exclusively what I would describe as fat guys with supermodel wives. It breaks the assortative mating that makes up the natural order. I would suggest to anyone thinking that state-sponsored-girlfriends shoulds like a good idea ask if you yourself would like to date under your league without corersion. If not, then any dating arrangement other than the normal one is immoral. And now for some unsolicited some dating advice: the best way to date out of your league is to move up out of your league by cultivating yourself.

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Maggoty 6 points 2 years ago

Free healthcare and commissary access already causes marriages. A defined length contract wouldn't be the worst thing in human history. But I'm not sure it's up to modern ethical standards.

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CanadaPlus 5 points 2 years ago

If you can't leave early, yeah it wouldn't be. If you can I don't really see what that adds.

Arguably legal marriages that are hard and expensive to leave are anachronistic themselves.

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Maggoty 2 points 2 years ago

Oh gosh I wasn't thinking of an enlistment. I was thinking about a normal job contract.

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taladar 6 points 2 years ago

Even pride in your nation can be cringe, depending on how justified that pride actually is.

As a German who was raised long after WW2 let me just say that pretty much all pride in your nation is pretty cringe, no matter how justified. The one exception would be maybe if you had a major part in improving your nation personally.

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CanadaPlus 1 point 2 years ago

Hmm. Should I be proud my nation accepts more immigrants than anybody else? If we stopped, I'd stop being proud, so the way I've thought of it that doesn't make me a nationalist. I certainly don't want to be a nationalist.

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Agent641 2 points 2 years ago

Roomba in the streets, predator drone in the sheets.

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cccc0 1 point 2 years ago

I'll settle for Kerfus.

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CanadaPlus 1 point 2 years ago

The Polish grocery mascot? That's what I get searching that.

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Jiggle_Physics 1 point 2 years ago

More that it is a robot built to assist people

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Sauerkraut 1 point 2 years ago

Define status. All work has value. A janitor is just as important as a nurse or software developer.

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CanadaPlus 3 points 2 years ago

I don't disagree, but hoo boy so do most human beings - especially in the modern West where we have a ghost story called meritocracy. Your example tells me you see it too, so I'll skip the awkward attempt at nailing it down with a definition.

Actually, I do disagree a bit. I wish people took me seriously IRL. I don't need anything more than that though.

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Neon 0 points 2 years ago

I disagree.

It doesn't really matter whether you have a Janitor available every day or just one day every week.

But you will really notice if you have a surgeon available every day or just one day of the week.

Please note that I explicitly don't have the opinion that janitors aren't important. If they weren't, they wouldn't exist and noone would pay for them.

But saying that they are just as important as a surgeon just simply isn't true.

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Sauerkraut 1 point 2 years ago

But saying that they are just as important as a surgeon just simply isn't true.

Yeah, but I never said that. I said "janitors are just as important as nurses and software engineers" because "all labor has value"

To be clear, I do agree that not all jobs are strictly equal in value. But lets shift our perspective a little: is the life of a CEO worth more than the janitor? I don't think so. And yet the janitor often trades more of his life for far less pay. I think the time the janitor is sacrificing is just as precious to him as the CEO's time is to the CEO.

The main point I would argue is that anyone sacrificing the best hours of the best years of their life deserves a living wage and basic respect / dignity.

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TranscendentalEmpire 7 points 2 years ago

They already do that, but the gf's name is always Jody. Who do you think writes all those Dear John letters?

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Agent641 4 points 2 years ago

Which state though? I hope North Dakota, those cold weather women love to cuddle

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sugar_in_your_tea 4 points 2 years ago

Idk, wojak ads sound pretty appealing.

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massive_bereavement 39 points 2 years ago

Where's the FPS game?

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Milk_Sheikh 31 points 2 years ago

Been done, and didn’t work. Players complained of “Slow weapon upgrades” and “No character progression” and was received poorly, needs more gritty realism.

Or explosions

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domdanial 15 points 2 years ago

What's funny is I know someone with like, 2000 hours in that game. And it just happened to be his favorite fps, nothing to do with the army propaganda.

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Milk_Sheikh 17 points 2 years ago

It’s honestly a solid lane shooter FPS, but it falls flat of the Battlefield killer it could have been. Enough realism and no respawns to make you treat it seriously, but it’s also not ArmA levels of “welp, time to respawn and drive/walk to the objective for 15 minutes”

Plus doing the training unlocks the squad role slots for online play, get that season pass shit outta my face

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Hathaway 2 points 2 years ago

And the training consisted of sitting in a classroom, then taking a paper test and scoring well enough, if not more. I loved AA 2

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ChicoSuave 12 points 2 years ago

It's well balanced, has great level design, and the game mood is serious enough that the scenarios and matches are taken serious too. It's rare to have someone run in guns blazing for more than a couple matches. Overall, it has a fun gameplay loop that takes itself seriously without being over the top. They know it's a recruiting tool, so it has to be good enough that folks want to play.

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PugJesus 7 points 2 years ago

AA2 and AA3 were fucking fantastic, despite AA3 becoming early access abandonware within like ten seconds of its release. AA4 was awful.

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HobbitFoot 5 points 2 years ago

I heard they had to limit people at West Point from playing as all the cadets were learning to shoot first and ask questions later.

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quinkin 3 points 2 years ago

From my experience trying it out they should have made sure no-one had any grenades.

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Maggoty 3 points 2 years ago

Some units did use it as a training tool, but only in conjunction with actual classes and closed matches. So wacky game stuff was very much not allowed. You had to move and fight as a team. For what it's worth, when I organized some guys to work like a real fireteam the game massively rewarded it in public matches.

For shoot/don't shoot training without a designated training area (the infamous back 40 of most bases) the Army uses a laser system with compressed air guns. A video plays and you're expected to interact with it like you would in real life. So there's a trainer there noting the exact moment you went lethal, if you did the correct de-escalation before hand, and your marksmanship after you start shooting. The scenarios also have branching possibilities so you can't just recognize which one is which. You actually have to work the problem and hope for the best.

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Maggoty 5 points 2 years ago

They made the most realistic game and people complained it wasn't real enough. I will never forget that. And the slow weapon upgrades was because there weren't any originally. Then you had to complete a stealth mission with one possible path that you had to crawl through for an hour. And the weapons weren't available on every map.

In many ways the game proved we didn't want super realism. We wanted fake realism with tactical fashion.

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BrazenSigilos 4 points 2 years ago

I enjoy a good FPS, even military sim styles like Battlefield, but that also why I wouldn't join the real military. I enjoy it as a game, a fantasy where none actually get physical injured and everyone goes home at the end of a battle. I've seen enough "video game" violence to know I have zero desire to see the real thing or do such things to other people.

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owiseedoubleyou 1 point 2 years ago

Battlefield isn't a milsim. Aside from the few milsim communites that have existed over the years and mods like Project Reality, Battlefield games were never really the most realistc deptiction of warfare.

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Warl0k3 2 points 2 years ago

Isn't that their point?

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BrazenSigilos 2 points 2 years ago

True, it isn't a milsim. It's a game in the milsim style, as I said. And not being a very realistic depiction is explicitly why I enjoy the fantasy of the game, but not the reality of warfare.

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The_Picard_Maneuver 26 points 2 years ago

Think it belongs before or after the Dodge Charger?

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Hathaway 24 points 2 years ago

Before. America’s Army dropped for the PC in ‘02. I feel like grunts were getting chargers from like 06-current. Could be wrong though

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TheMightyCanuck 35 points 2 years ago

Dodge charger

clearly not a dodge charger

Is this subtext meme or is NCD just extra not credible today?

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chuckleslord 13 points 2 years ago

That's not a Dodge Charger? Is it a Dodge, though? I'm not good on my car politics

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TheMightyCanuck 9 points 2 years ago

It is the similarly named but starkly different 'dodge challenger'

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Ilovethebomb 6 points 2 years ago

Cars aren't really our strong point, just look at all the "Toyota Hilux" memes, where the vehicle is actually a 70 series cruiser.

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ironhydroxide 31 points 2 years ago

But that's a Challenger.

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StopJoiningWars 19 points 2 years ago

If you know what model that is you're too painfully American to come back from there, my condolences.

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3ntranced 5 points 2 years ago

To be fair if you've seen a charger and a challenger before, you'd be able to tell pretty quick. My brain interprets it is charger built like matchbox; challenger like hot wheels.

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sugar_in_your_tea 3 points 2 years ago

Yup, there's a reason that particular campaign didn't work out.

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coffee_with_cream 22 points 2 years ago

What is the ratio of GF per recruit? I propose 1 GF to 10 recruits for optimal taxpayer expenditure.

Also no condoms

Sloppy 9ths pls

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myrrh 6 points 2 years ago
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coffee_with_cream 19 points 2 years ago

State sponsored big titty goth GFs for all

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Leate_Wonceslace 7 points 2 years ago

Maybe I'll be able to get a commission. đŸ€”

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coffee_with_cream 7 points 2 years ago

1 sloppy BJ per recruit

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tilefan 14 points 2 years ago

make it $250k and I'll sign up

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sugar_in_your_tea 3 points 2 years ago

$25.0k? You got it!

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frunch 10 points 2 years ago

This is the first meme i laughed aloud at in a couple days--well played, op

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verity_kindle 10 points 2 years ago

"STD Treatment/Health Care" should be between Egirl and Wojak. Just sayin.

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downpunxx 9 points 2 years ago

can we skip to the state sanctioned girlfriends, now, please

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SkyezOpen 4 points 2 years ago

Never heard of barracks bunnies? Wouldn't exactly call em "sanctioned." Or "disease free."

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BarbecueCowboy -1 points 2 years ago

With that military body, you may not need too much help with that honestly. You may not like how it turns out, but you kinda get that already.

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