Your username is how you die, how bad is it?

3 years ago by GoldenDoge to c/asklemmy

SoftBun 27 points 3 years ago

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comfy 15 points 3 years ago

:)

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PlutoniumAcid 0 points 3 years ago

Hnoooobody expects the Spanish inquisition!!

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cosmicsploogedrizzle 13 points 3 years ago

Oh god

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raccoon 12 points 3 years ago

Oh shit.

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tubbadu 1 point 3 years ago

We all know how they are going to kill you... or better, where

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ChewbaccasClitoris 11 points 3 years ago

I die with a smile on my face

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ryuko 11 points 3 years ago

Considering the anime she's from, probably violently with one half of a large scissor.

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original_ish_name 11 points 3 years ago

I get shot by richard stallman

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7eter 1 point 3 years ago

ah damn - shouldn't have swapped those two letters

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Icarus 10 points 3 years ago

uh oh

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argv_minus_one 2 points 3 years ago

🔥🥵

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Rimjob_Bob 9 points 3 years ago

There's worse ways to go I guess

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YourFavouriteNPC 4 points 3 years ago

Depends... Are you going to die from giving or from receiving one? Or in other words: who's bob?

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gravitywell 9 points 3 years ago

Spagettigification🫠

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YourFavouriteNPC 7 points 3 years ago

Sounds like a long, painful way to go

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DestroyMegacorps 8 points 3 years ago

Died fighting for freedom of technology and the destruction of corporations

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catacomb 3 points 3 years ago path: 0 8105 8955, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
YourFavouriteNPC 8 points 3 years ago

Not at all! People are gonna be pissed at the devs and they'll patch my death scene right out of the game, or at least make it optional. I'm immortal, baby!

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Solaris1789 7 points 3 years ago

I get assasinated by oracle for not owning a Solaris license and my death is ruled out as a suicide. Alternatively i get thrown into the sun somehow

path: 0 3185, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
fork 7 points 3 years ago

If I must die to a fork, it'd be funny if it was this one.

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tubbadu 1 point 3 years ago

or perhaps stabbed by a table fork?

path: 0 2184 5319, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
SpiderShoeCult 7 points 3 years ago

killed in a crusade (shoe-ade?) started by a cult of spiders that have a shoe as their holy symbol, in order to liberate the promised shoe (due to the sheer scale, the item doubles as both symbol and holy land)

could be worse, I guess

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PolandIsAStateOfMind 6 points 3 years ago

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SpiderShoeCult 3 points 3 years ago

this is awesome

path: 0 2818 3387 3848, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
ebike_enjoyer 7 points 3 years ago

Hit by a car. Which, statistically, is probably a solid guess

path: 0 2483, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
RagingNerdoholic 7 points 3 years ago

Heart attack from yelling at my computer screen, I guess

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TheElectroness 6 points 3 years ago

It's shocking.

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SmokeInFog 6 points 3 years ago

Shit, I'm choking and I can't see... what direction am I going?

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304 6 points 3 years ago

I honestly have no idea, which opens up a whole world of possibilities!

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Blacklight 7 points 3 years ago

Death by 304 minor injuries?

path: 0 2684 2825, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1
304 3 points 3 years ago

Aw man, that sounds excruciating.

path: 0 2684 2825 2831, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
FUsername 4 points 3 years ago

I could offer to you: HTTP Status 304: Not modified

Guess it would be easier to die from modification, though.

path: 0 2684 3268, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
theory 6 points 3 years ago

Not too bad, im alive in practice

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nLuLukna 2 points 3 years ago

Maybe you move into a quantum state of being both in theory and practice at the same time

path: 0 11441 11498, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Helix 6 points 3 years ago

Corrupted DNA, so most likely either cancer or radiation. The latter being not the greatest way to go...

path: 0 2893, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1
Jumuta 1 point 3 years ago

Five Pebbles

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Null 6 points 3 years ago

Into the void I go

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Pepp3r 6 points 3 years ago

I think it would actually be pretty long and painful :(

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spinoza_the_jedi 5 points 3 years ago

I guess that might mean lightsabers are real. You’re welcome, everyone.

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CannotSleep420 5 points 3 years ago

I die of sleep deprivation while smoking a lot of weed. In other words, a normal day for me.

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Zagaroth 5 points 3 years ago

Um, I get isekai'd into a dragon god with mirror-twin kitsune goddess as his wives? So pretty damn good, though my actual wife might object a touch.

My username is an old D&D PC of mine who has evolved greatly over the decades and is currently the pantheon head in a campaign/book setting. Not sure how else to match what the name means to the idea of the thread title.

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Bicyclejohn 5 points 3 years ago

Some wanker on a bike

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argv_minus_one 5 points 3 years ago

My existence triggers undefined behavior in the laws of physics, causing the universe to glitch for a moment and then collapse entirely. Everyone alive at the time is trapped for eternity, unable to move or do anything, and sees nothing but some cryptic words suspended in an endless black void:

Segmentation fault (core dumped)
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cavemeat 5 points 3 years ago

Oh god oh fuck

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overkill0485 5 points 3 years ago

A bit excessive, don't you think?

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moonleay 5 points 3 years ago

I like the view; Though the pressure will end me

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LifeInMultipleChoice 5 points 3 years ago

A. I'm okay with it B. I'm not okay with it. C. I haven't a clue what it means. D. Maybe it means suicide, if so, I guess that is the choice I made?

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dirtmayor 5 points 3 years ago

at least there's dirt

path: 0 2016, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
jax 5 points 3 years ago

My name is just my name… idk what that means 😥

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HenryWong327 5 points 3 years ago

Same, I guess I have to fight an evil clone of myself or something.

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jax 1 point 3 years ago

To be fair, it does seem like there’s at least 326 others, maybe more, so that doesn’t seem unlikely

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GoldenDoge 3 points 3 years ago

suicide? or you die to a clone of yourself? idk

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jax 5 points 3 years ago
CW - suicide

Lol I mean, the first one wouldn’t even surprise me 😓

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Helix 3 points 3 years ago

If you're suicidal, keep in mind there always will be a tomorrow and no suffering is endless. Life has ups and downs and even in the worst downs, you can usually manage to find happiness after a while. I hope you have at least an OK day.

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jax 2 points 3 years ago

Oh, for sure! I’m fine now but it was a thing like years ago. Didn’t mean to concern anyone, sorry

Thank you 😊

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argv_minus_one 3 points 3 years ago

There's a Mortal Kombat character with the same name, so…you lose a mirror match. Fatality.

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ada 1 point 3 years ago

This

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CheshireSnake 5 points 3 years ago

I'm still confused if it's going to be bad or trippy.

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Che_Donkey 5 points 3 years ago

Brayed to death by an Argentinian descendant of the African Wild Ass.

no bueno.

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peeonyou 4 points 3 years ago

pretty bad

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EponymousBosh 4 points 3 years ago

I...I don't even know how this would work.

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Satiric_Weasel 4 points 3 years ago

I'm imagining the chest-burster scene from alien, but a it's a Weasel dressed as a caricature of an early 20th century monopolist.

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lvxferre 4 points 3 years ago

Death by a specially illiterate Lucifer, I guess?

Context for my username: it's the result of my 15yo edgy self trying to say "lightbringer" in Latin, without knowing how Latin compounds work. ("Lucifer" is fully regular, by the way.) Eventually however I stuck with the username across multiple sites, and it's still going strong two decades later.

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Bombastic 4 points 3 years ago

In a bombastic manner

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mrcleansocks 4 points 3 years ago

I do love clean socks....

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TheOPtimal 4 points 3 years ago

hey, it's going to be quick :)

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sneezycat 4 points 3 years ago

I'm allergic... it's going to be unpleasant.

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Guy_Fieris_Hair 4 points 3 years ago

Confusing

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dontcarebear 4 points 3 years ago
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BearclawHammerfist 4 points 3 years ago

It's either going to hurt really bad or it's going to happen so quickly I won't know what happened.

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PolandIsAStateOfMind 4 points 3 years ago

Oh shit, over 1000 years of pure suffering.

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Nyaa 4 points 3 years ago

I think I'm okay with it

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pushka 4 points 3 years ago

Death by snoo snoo

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Moonguide 2 points 3 years ago

bonk

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onlooker 4 points 3 years ago

Hard to say. I guess I don't die?

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butter 6 points 3 years ago

You're the guy who's crushed by a building while Godzilla fights something else

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onlooker 1 point 3 years ago

Haha, I'll take it!

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this 4 points 3 years ago

Yes

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Wolpertinger 4 points 3 years ago

My username is the German version of a jackalope, so I guess I'm going out monty python style.

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Carcel 3 points 3 years ago

Either in a Latin American jail or immolated by a French lamp. Burning to death would not be pleasant.

path: 0 11433, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 2
LoreleiSankTheShip 2 points 3 years ago

Cârcel means muscle cramp in Romanian, so that's another inconvenient way you might go

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Carcel 2 points 3 years ago

Sounds about right.

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fishy_2_0 3 points 3 years ago

im not sure do i get eaten by fish or do i drown in a pile of fish?

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argv_minus_one 2 points 3 years ago

You get eaten by that big jumping fish in Super Mario Bros 3.

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such_lettuce7970 3 points 3 years ago

It'll be wilted and slimey. Ewww (honestly I just stuck with my old reddit name, which was randomly generated, because I suck at naming).

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XPost3000 3 points 3 years ago

Death goes viral, probably

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black_flag_astronaut 3 points 3 years ago

It's not bad, it's friggin awesome!

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Packopus 3 points 3 years ago

Classy

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simply_surprise 3 points 3 years ago

I'm gonna guess it doesn't move the plot forward

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whiskeypickle 3 points 3 years ago

I died as I lived

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creek 3 points 3 years ago

Looks like I am drowning...

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Moonguide 3 points 3 years ago

Either i got lost on the moon and I'd be very bad at my job, or there's local fauna that hunted us down.

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CaptainAlchemy 3 points 3 years ago

Dying being an alchemist is like dying because you forgot to look both ways before crossing the street, in other words, I was a bad alchemist...

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DidacticDumbass 3 points 3 years ago

I died the way I lived, incompetently.

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ram 3 points 3 years ago

Someone's gonna ram me to death? OwO

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charred 3 points 3 years ago

pretty warm and crispy

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InfiniWheel 3 points 3 years ago

Killed by an Ophanim or a weirdly designed car

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CooperRedArmyDog 3 points 3 years ago

If a dog who is an enlisted member of the Red Army of the USSR takes me out 1) what was I doing, 2) I probably deserved it at that point and 3) this means the USSR has been reformed

Barring a few obvious questions I think this outcome is a net positive fpr the world

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OhSnapKracklePopped 3 points 3 years ago

Not too fun, I’d imagine.

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bobs_guns 1 point 3 years ago

you would be deep fried, presumably

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waver002 3 points 3 years ago

Well at least there's somebody there when I die.

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scrchngwsl 3 points 3 years ago

Probably the sound I'll make when I die?

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Redacted 3 points 3 years ago

I'm guessing pretty bad...

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baal 3 points 3 years ago

Always knew I was destined for hell.

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RecaffeinatedDecaf 3 points 3 years ago

Heart attack. It's probably heart attack.

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Crocrodile 3 points 3 years ago

Very bad

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pingveno 2 points 3 years ago

Pingveno is Esperanto for penguin. I guess I get cuted to death.

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Crocrodile 1 point 3 years ago

Hahaha

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skeletorsass 3 points 3 years ago

A lot of sass in the best case.

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gun 3 points 3 years ago

...

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dumpling 3 points 3 years ago
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Wumbologist 2 points 3 years ago
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jnovinger 2 points 3 years ago

I died who I am

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merjalane 2 points 3 years ago

Dying at the hand of Meryan person ("merjalane" = "Meryan person" in Estonian) sounds intriguing, considering that Merya people have been extinct for centuries

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Barbarian 2 points 3 years ago

Absolutely enraging.

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Yabai 2 points 3 years ago

It's terrible

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asexualchangeling 2 points 3 years ago
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Guy_Fieris_Hair 5 points 3 years ago

Death by snusnu!

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catsan 2 points 3 years ago

Cute but full of shit

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PlutoniumAcid 2 points 3 years ago

Quickly, I hope.

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smartwater0897 2 points 3 years ago

Mine is randomly generated but I guess it would work. :)

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PorkrollPosadist 2 points 3 years ago

Following this man to the gates of hell.

Portrait of J. Posadas

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possum 2 points 3 years ago

I guess I die in a violent possum attack. Or do i?

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Haunting_Tale_5150 2 points 3 years ago
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Majora 2 points 3 years ago

Either I get crushed by a big moon with an angry face or smothered by labia

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Lets_taco_bout_it 2 points 3 years ago

Delicious

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ZenFriedRice 2 points 3 years ago

This is the best way I could've every gone.

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nodiet 2 points 3 years ago

I guess I'll become morbidly obese and die of a heart attack

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bobs_guns 1 point 3 years ago

either that or starvation

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Disgusted_Tadpole 2 points 3 years ago

Interesting.

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meisme 2 points 3 years ago

Be yourself I guess

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bobs_guns 2 points 3 years ago

there's more than one gun so it will probably be quick at least

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packetloss 2 points 3 years ago

Lots of jittering and buffering before finally timing out.

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ShoePaste 2 points 3 years ago

sticky and horrid

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ratz 1 point 3 years ago

Yeah, nightmare fuel I guess

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waspentalive 1 point 3 years ago path: 0 13843, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Ted_Bunny 1 point 3 years ago

Adorrible

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darkstar 1 point 3 years ago

Not entirely sure how it would work honestly

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BurnedDonutHole 1 point 3 years ago

BurnedDonutHole related something will kill me it seems.

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ahamrick 1 point 3 years ago

Pretty peacefully, I'd say.

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Doug 1 point 3 years ago path: 0 7916, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Starfish 1 point 3 years ago

i should avoid sea food

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LoreleiSankTheShip 1 point 3 years ago

I'm honestly fine with mine. There are worse ways to go.

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JuniperusVox 1 point 3 years ago

A juniper tree yelling at me seems like a uniquely bizarre way to go. Honestly, I'm on board.

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0x0815 1 point 3 years ago

I‘m just the average normal guy

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Argentum_Rex 1 point 3 years ago

I'd think like Midas Touch but in silver

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nLuLukna 1 point 3 years ago

I might be flushed down a toilet.. LuLu?

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lunchboxhero 1 point 3 years ago
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KnightOfOldEmpire 1 point 3 years ago

A nickname for a character from a book I want to write... the MC doesn't and lives on in the aftermath of a fallen empire. What's left is just a petty squabbling of those who survived, who came from the foreign lands and the dammed whose machinations are yet to be fulfilled.

(Think of an Andromeda show but leaning more into fantasy than sci fi)

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Mot 1 point 3 years ago

Got a few options. Maybe I fall off a cliff while walking backwards. Visit the UK and get struck by a car. Or the Canaanite god of death. Hopefully, it's quick.

path: 0 12157, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
icky_mess 1 point 3 years ago

Accurate, I suspect.

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CookieJarObserver 1 point 3 years ago
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heavyboots 1 point 3 years ago

I mean… 😬

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Stumblinbear 1 point 3 years ago

I'm going to be flattened. Honestly there are worse ways to go.

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Link 1 point 3 years ago

Yeah, like a bear with balance

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ElmarsonTheThird 1 point 3 years ago

Third son of a viking probably going to take me down.

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sgtnasty 1 point 3 years ago

not so sure...

path: 0 3538, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
shreddy_scientist 3 points 3 years ago

It'll be nasty, that's for sure, hope it's at least quick too. Quick and nasty isn't soo bad, right?

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Ghast 1 point 3 years ago

In a deep cavern, tricking zombies into following me into a trap, I find out ghasts run faster than the usual shamblers and get eaten.

Hopefully it'll bash my head in before munching on my limbs.

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tubbadu 1 point 3 years ago

my username means nothing at all, it this bad?

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Hagarashi8 2 points 3 years ago

Looks like we will live forever

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CaptainAlchemy 0 points 3 years ago

I don't know, but I'm a captain so I might be able to find my way out

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