Hello. I've been suicidal ish for about 15 years. Mental health and such nonsense is not even a thing where I live.

But over these 15 years I've learned that being that way isn't a constant. And there are a lot of external factors that can compound on your poor mental health.

I use this website to help me when I really feel like shit. I've found that being depressed generally keeps you from needing water and food. Which messes with your head more.

There's also that time after you hangout with friends and are finally alone, for some reason your brain chemistry just crashes. I just hug a pillow and try to sleep through this. I've found no way of stopping that shit train.

It's important to note that the first thing depression does is make you self-isolate. Avoid that at all costs. Sometimes social things don't click and that hurts too, but isolation will dig you a hole that you cannot climb out of.

If you are a student in a first world country, getting therapy should be cheaper and easier.

Other general things like eating better and going to the gym will definitely help, but you will struggle to maintain any form of consistency because you have little energy in your head. But sporadic once-a-month gym sessions are far better than nothing. And do not put yourself down for not maintaining consistency. Especially when you see others doing it. They probably don't have the same problems that you do.

This got a bit rambly, and is mostly my personal experience, but I hope it helps you at least a little.

Agreed that 5 month wait time is wild, but 5 months from today is closer than 5 months from next week. Get the ball rolling. Set yourself up to get the help you want, you deserve to be mentally healthy. Seems you’ve already made the decision that you want some assistance which is great. There is nothing wrong with seeking outside help. I don’t dive into fixing my cars engine, I get someone who knows exactly how it works.

Hope you have a good day today.

Mod here. Please flair as NSFW. See pinned post from VubDapple.

We've got a few pinned posts with a wide variety of resources; please check these to see if any look promising. More importantly: use them. Call 988, or a warm-line. You've already taken the first step by posting here. Keep going.

I fully agree the two avenues you've reached out to so far can be useless. Formal, one-on-one treatment lags massively beyond need--every news outlet runs stories, citing politicians who allocated big bucks to resources... which take years to get anything accomplished, and likely get bogged in red tape, slush-fund budgeting so you and I get nothing.

People around you often play comparative games: "ooh, let me tell you about MY issues; blah, blah blah; you see? they're worse than yours, so just suck it up."

However, I disagree that there's nothing special about you, or that you're taking resources someone else might need more. You matter, more than you know. You deserve, as much as anyone, love and help.

There are some good responses already... far less than 5 months.

Two additional strategies. (1) Meditate. If you're not sure how, let me know; I can suggest some good free starting points. It may seem stupid, irrelevant at first. But I've found it's a remarkable way for me to know what I'm feeling. If I can sit with the feeling long enough, sometimes I can figure out why I'm feeling that way.

(2) Reach out, spread good. It doesn't have to be dramatic, like "helping someone in more need than you are." Sometimes, it's letting someone trying to make a left turn into traffic the space to make that turn. Giving a compliment to a random stranger.

I struggle with depression too. I've earned it--my partner with Alzheimer's is in a nursing home I call "Roach Motel" it's so badly run. (No, this is not "my problems are worse than yours.") I visit daily. I brush her hair, hold her hand, holler for aides when they ignore the call bell--I make a difference in her life. I like some of the aides, and I think others are pure a**holes. But I bring in inexpensive snacks, give compliments when I can, and treat people with a crappy job with as much respect and kindness as I can muster. Some days, I REALLY don't want to visit... but I make myself. And always, when I leave, the depression has lifted a little.

Take a break from social media/news if you can, I know it's not going to solve everything immediately but it might help. I was dealing with a bad streak, and I have quit most social media like Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Reddit or only use sanitised media like Lemmy.

There are a lot of good hearts in this world, unfortunately a lot of media are more likely to cover the rot.

Thank you for adding flair to your post.

We here at the /mentalhealth community disagree with the idea that there is nothing special about you. Your need is just as great as every other person and you can't play that game with yourself because it's dangerous. Please continue ranting here all you want if it makes you feel better to get some of your frustrations out. We understand and this is what we are here for. We're glad you came here and talked with us and gave us a chance to help you out.

However we obviously can't help you in a crisis, and if you are in real danger of harming yourself, please call 988 or make use of the options available for actively suicidal people that you are already aware of. I assure you that there are people around you whose life would be worse if you followed through with any plans for suicide. Please read this post for more helpful info.