slap knees -> say "whelp" -> ...run

Irish exit.

sorry I have appointment to wash my hair

I have to return some video tapes.

Me: “ I gotta go pick up my grandma at the airport.” Everyone else: “ dude your grandma died in 2008.” Me: *violently shits pants and run screaming out the door.

You could just tell them your social capital is spent and leave.

"I need to return some video tapes."

show up early, so you only have to be around 1-2 people for an hour or so. Volunteer to drive shotgun to help pickup the wings. Arrive with maybe an hour left, then eat the wings and celery sticks in silence in the back. Talk to a few people, mostly just listening. Then leave at 10:15 sharp because you have work early tomorrow.

One of the few things I've gotten really good at when I'm at a party is leaving. I've worked it to the point where I can grab one or two folks who I care about and say goodbye, then slip off. And thank god. The worst experiences of my life were when someone else drove and I had to wait for them.

"I have to go feed the cat" - used this when grandma was calling and didn't want to talk

Among my friends, I've normalized just leaving. I don't go around and say good bye to everyone. I literally tell one person that I'm leaving, merely to inform them so they can tell others I've left if they ask.

So I'll literally turn to whomever is closest that I know, who isn't also leaving, and just say I'm leaving, then go.

The story I've spun into all of the people I know, which I believe to be the case frequently is that: by making a big show of leaving, you're basically asking for people to give you a reason to stay or convince you to stay. I don't want either to happen, and I don't feel the need to have any pageantry about departing. So I'll just leave. I want to do that thing, so I'm going to go do that thing. I'm not going to talk about doing that thing, or make a big show of it, I'm just going to do it.

Listen, it's ok to leave. I know you feel like you owe people some explanation or justification for leaving, but in reality, you do not. Just go.

I will add: this is a very simple idea/concept. That doesn't, and shouldn't, imply it will be easy for you, or anyone, to execute. Each person will have their own mental hurdles to get over with this, and I do not want anyone to think that I'm ignoring, or belittling that. Your feelings and challenges are real, legitimate, and valid.

This concept is simple and execution may be easy, or not, for you individually. You may need to restructure the way you think to adopt this, or you may accept it easily. I'm not going to assume what the experiences of everyone else is going to be.

Good luck, everybody.

Just drink until someone has to take you home

Ok. One of us trips and breaks the sound system, the second coughs up a nasty furball in the pool and the last one uses the snack buffet as a litterbox.
Afterwards, we meet at the backdoor in 5 and fake out a mice chase.

I never noticed there was a camera on the last gathering I was on.

Simply walk out.

Awkwardly walk out without saying goodbye

beer run! and never come back

I always just sneak off into a corner and listen to music if I can.

Is "overstimulated" the word of the day now because I heard it IRL today.

Gastrointestinal distress.

Hurriedly go to the bathroom. Stay there about 15 mins. Return and politely excuse yourself. Someone will have noticed that you spent the last 15 mins in the bathroom.