Owner Of Adult Store Stunned After Pentagon Demands She Stop Shipping Butt Plugs To Soldiers In Middle East

9 months ago by ZDL to c/boycottus

Oh myyy...😳

Apparently the US Department of DefenseWar thinks that they can order non-US citizens not resident in the USA to cease and desist from mailing things.

Uh…

Hilarity of the items involved aside, the gall of the US military postal service to give orders to civilians not under their command and not even of their nation is shocking.

notabot 107 points 9 months ago

So, they want her to stop sending sex toys to Baharain, but

The United States Postal Service and the DOD work together through the Military Postal Service Agency (MPSA), managed by the Army, to provide worldwide mail services (APO/FPO/DPO) for service members. These address formats don't reveal the country, just the person and military unit.

So she couldn't screen out those orders, even if she wanted to!

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NatakuNox 25 points 9 months ago

Lol tell your soldiers to stop ordering butt plugs

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notabot 15 points 9 months ago

It's probably better that they're ordering them than improvising, but yes, it's very much a them problem rather than a her problem.

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NatakuNox 4 points 9 months ago

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spiff 3 points 9 months ago

Due to country restrictions, they will unfortunately have to rely on IEDs (Improvised Excitement Devices)

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notabot 1 point 9 months ago

Better hope they don't sit down too hard, or they might get more of that excitement than they're ready for! I've heard "without a base, without a trace", but this is more "sit on a shell, welcome to hell".

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mech 1 point 9 months ago

Especially considering what soldiers have on hand to improvise!

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BagOfHeavyStones 2 points 9 months ago

They should just be a rifle attachment.

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ZDL 7 points 9 months ago

Yup. The system by design (to avoid deployments being decodable) doesn't reveal the actual destination ... but somehow she's supposed to know.

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blimthepixie 65 points 9 months ago

I like her attitude to this whole thing.

I hope she updates her website with a 10% discount to all troops posted overseas 

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ZDL 3 points 9 months ago

"Half off to DoW addresses."

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Billy_fuccboi 48 points 9 months ago

Just slap camo pattern on it and get a Pentagon contract

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ThePantser 25 points 9 months ago

Tactical Plug

path: 0 21574047 21574158, hotness: undefined, score: 25, children: 5
Semi_Hemi_Demigod 6 points 9 months ago

The picatinny rail is ribbed for your pleasure

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glitchdx 1 point 9 months ago

Oh no, that sounds uncomfortable as fuck

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TrillianAstra 5 points 9 months ago

You could put it on the base for accessories

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Agent641 2 points 9 months ago

Much better than the field-expedient buttplugs made out of everyday vegetables.

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PwnTra1n 4 points 9 months ago

Like magic it disappears into its surroundings

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ButteryMonkey 7 points 9 months ago

Need a more flared base.

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gustofwind 26 points 9 months ago

Properly fitted, a buttplug reduces cavitation shock waves from shrapnel and small munitions, reducing internal damage and increasing soldier survivability by over 9000

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mech 3 points 9 months ago

I'm no ballistics expert so I'll take your word for it.

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TomMasz 22 points 9 months ago

You know, I miss the time you could look at a headline and know instantly it was The Onion. Now you have to check the URL and read the damn thing to know for sure.

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JoMiran 7 points 9 months ago

Even then, are you truly sure?

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ZDL 3 points 9 months ago

I know, right? Parody is dead.

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Alloi 16 points 9 months ago

you cant stop her from plugging the butts of american soldiers. YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE.

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Agent641 2 points 9 months ago

She won't rest until she's plugged every butthole in Bahrain!

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Devial 15 points 9 months ago
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ramble81 12 points 9 months ago

She’s not a resident of Bahrain either, so it still holds. If the DOD wants to appease the Bahrain government, they should intercept things on their end.

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FreddiesLantern 3 points 9 months ago

No damnit, it says “ON their end” not “IN”.

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ZDL 2 points 9 months ago

DoW, I think you mean.

Doesn't matter even with that spin. The DoW is well aware of how its military postal system works and thus knows that the sender has ZERO idea of where a package will be delivered to.

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Taldan 13 points 9 months ago

It actually makes sense when you include this important bit, "on behalf of the country of Bahrain"

It's likely Bahrainian customs inspecting the package, finding illegal contraband, then contacting the intended recipient for an explanation as to why they're receiving banned goods

US Military responds by saying they'll inform all parties to prevent future occurrences. It's classic CYA

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ZDL 3 points 9 months ago

There's a couple of problems with this:

  1. The vendor has no idea what the destination is when sending it through military post. Part of the whole point of a separate postal system is that you can't figure out deployments from postage. So even if they're doing it "on behalf of Bahrain" they're aiming that the wrong direction. They should have been aiming it at the recipients (who obviously know where they are) not the shipper (who doesn't).

  2. The country of Bahrain has no position where it can give orders to nonresident foreign citizens either.

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Taldan 3 points 9 months ago

You're completely correct, but that doesn't stop it from happening. It's just performative covering of asses all around. Now the Bahrainian government doesn't look like they're giving the US military a free pass and the US military can say they're doing something

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