alt text:
4chan post with image of boymode chan (I think that's the name anyway) surrounded by a bunch of blahajes

Post title: Been working at an IKEA as a security guard for 6 months now.

Post text: The store is divided into six zones. One guard for each. The zone where the soft toy section is is the least popular. No one wants to be around annoying loud kids. I always volunteer. Not to bully kids but boymoders I spot them from far away. Nervous and awkward, always in a hoodie no matter how hot the day is. Trying to look invisible, hands inside the sleeves. They are all there to buy a blahaj. They don't just take one from the top. They try to go through all of them, they squeeze them, smell them. But they are so scared to draw attention to themselves that they walk away just to come back two minutes later to continue the search for "the one" blahaj.

When they come the third time, I approach them from behind. Yell "HEY!! just pick a fucking shark they're all the same"

Usually they give out a strange high pitched noise and start trembling. Some just run away.

I did feel bad one time when she started crying. I didn't know what to do so I said I'm sorry and told her to take all the time she needed to pick one. But she just kept crying and I didn't know what else to do, so I asked her if she wanted to see something cool. She nodded and I told her to follow me. A truckload of shorks had just been delivered. I opened the door to the loading dock and her jaw dropped. A 15-foot tall pile of fresh blahaj was in the corner. She looked at me and asked "c-can I?" I looked around to make sure no one was there and said "pfft go ahead". She ran and jumped in the pile. She was giggling and swimming among the shorks. I let her have fun for a while and then to to pick a shark cause I'd get in trouble if I wasn't back in the store soon. She grab one, thanked me and hugged me.

She looked at my name tag that said Josh and said "I will name him Jawsh!"