Barron Trump To Be Renamed ‘Barack’ as Part of Trump’s Surrender to Iran

a day ago by ZeroCool to c/theonion

In addition to removing all sanctions, releasing frozen assets and providing Iran with a $300 billion development fund, it has now emerged that Donald Trump agreed to rename his youngest son ‘Barack’, as part of deal to end the war in Iran. Those analysing the deal say it appears to be quite lopsided in Iran’s […]
FiniteBanjo 34 points a day ago

It's funny but also sad because it looks like the peace deal is already collapsing from both sides: congress doesn't want to pay the IRGC and Israel keeps attacking Iran who just closed the strait again.

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TropicalDingdong 18 points a day ago

Those examples are both the same side

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FiniteBanjo -11 points a day ago

Iran closing the straight with seamines and aerial bombardment is an Iran decision.

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bold_atlas 10 points 17 hours ago

AFTER Trump and Israel broke the peace. Hence it's just one side.

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FiniteBanjo -6 points 13 hours ago

It being before or after anything doesn't make your actions somebody else's.

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BarneyPiccolo 12 points 16 hours ago

There was never a deal. He just needed to announce it for his birthday fight. I don't know why anybody thought this would stick. Iran is enjoying their new power in the World, because they just demonstrated that they can crash the global economy with a phone call. Who TF needs a nuke when you can do that?

If I were Iran, I'd just twist MAGA balls until after the Midterms.

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FiniteBanjo -1 points 13 hours ago path: 0 24372996 24379475 24382225, hotness: undefined, score: -1, children: 1
Bloomcole 1 point 9 hours ago

"claims they have never and will never negotiate with the USA"
Your claims are complete nonsense.

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supersquirrel 11 points a day ago

Israel never stopped doing war in Lebanon, the peacedeal never existed.

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FiniteBanjo -7 points a day ago

The USA is not Israel, and Israel is not the USA.

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kadotux 8 points 18 hours ago

You have to keep your allies in check when negotiating, otherwise what's the point.

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FiniteBanjo -2 points 13 hours ago

You suggest the USA should invade Israel? It hasn't exactly worked out well with Iran.

Israel has very clearly demonstrated it will not be deterred by any amount of threats or soft power.

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Geobloke 3 points 17 hours ago

Congress paying Iran was never part of the deal. The deal was to push private companies to invest $300 billion in reconstruction. Now I'm fairly sure that Trump construction consolidated might get paid by congress to rebuild the bridges Trump defence blew up, but it'd just be a hunch

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FiniteBanjo -1 points 13 hours ago

Maybe it's different in autocratic regimes like Iran, Russia, and China, but the US Government cannot "push companies to invest" in anything without giving back at least some guarantee. Regardless, Congress is going to vote the proposition down.

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Bloomcole 1 point 9 hours ago

lOL what a moron

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Geobloke 0 points 4 hours ago

Ate you fucking serious? Look at how Trump had rewarded companies that kiss the ring

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FiniteBanjo 0 points 4 hours ago

Even his router ban or his admin favoring SpaceX contracts isn't worth investing $300Bn in Iran.

The USA companies can't even justify keeping private hospitals running stateside, how tf are they going to pay to build some in Iran? The oil fields aren't getting privatized so ain't no Exxon Mobil going to do it.

Trump has been aggressively rewarding coal and oil and it's still getting pushed out of the market by clean power.

$300,000,000,000.00 is a lot of fucking money.

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BarneyPiccolo 18 points 16 hours ago

First time and in a long time that I saw an Onion headline, and didn't halfway believe it immediately.

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TheTechnician27 12 points a day ago

This is a huge victory for the United State of America.

Death of the author moment: this is an abstruse part of the satire and not a typo.

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finallymadeanaccount 8 points 17 hours ago

Baron Hussain Trump!

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Thebeardedsinglemalt 8 points 9 hours ago

He's only doing that so he'll actually remember his kid since Barack Obama lives rent free in that dementia-ridden mush he called a brain

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DaGreenGobbo 1 point 6 hours ago

Poor Trump. Doesn't even remember his old pal John Baron.

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tyler 5 points 6 hours ago

A White House spokesperson also dismissed claims the deal was one sided. “That’s not true at all. Iran has made many concessions, including a pinky promise to pause uranium enrichment for thirty days”.

😂

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HubertManne 3 points 14 hours ago

its funny the tough guys who support trump who acts like napolean dynamite. A lot of people are saying I have secret ninja moves. A lot of folks.

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Bloomcole 1 point 9 hours ago

Why would Iran want him named after a mass murderer of countless innocent muslims?

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