So others know they're safe

3 months ago by VetOfTheSeas to c/wholesome

compostgoblin 101 points 3 months ago

It’s so important. Seeing pride flags up tells me that I’m safe in that part of town. And who knows, maybe me having my flag up will make it so that other queer people will think about moving onto my street and start flying theirs too

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jtrek 18 points 3 months ago

I live in NY and I see a lot of pride flags all the time. It's nice. Earlier this summer I visited some folks in like South Jersey and it was striking, once I noticed, how few pride flags there were. I saw one. I saw a lot of trump stuff.

A woman friend of mine that's married to a woman said she's seriously discussed with her wife if they're going to stop visiting folks there, because it doesn't feel safe.

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velma 2 points 3 months ago

We have quite a few pride flags of various types through my neighborhood. One time, we got a painted rock on our porch labeling us “rainbow neighbors” which was very sweet.

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venusaur -4 points 3 months ago

Omg I just thought of a horror movie idea where they use flags as bait to make people feel safe.

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cdf12345 5 points 3 months ago

And plot twist……they are?

It becomes a big accepting community.

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VitoRobles 3 points 3 months ago

And also like a good horror like a Stephen King novel, the real evil are the other people invading.

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velma 0 points 3 months ago

:(

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Lemming6969 -1 points 3 months ago

Wow you got down votes by morons who didn't get it. I was going to post the same thing. It swings both ways as a honey trap.

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velma 5 points 3 months ago

We're in the wholesome community. That's probably why there's a negative reception to that particular idea.

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venusaur 1 point 3 months ago

Yeah like Get Out. It’s okay. Some people don’t like horror movies.

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whaleross 51 points 3 months ago

I'm a straight upper middle aged man that wears them for the very same reason. I figure as long people are reacting, regardless it be positive or negative, it is needed.

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locahosr443 49 points 3 months ago

I'm a straight guy who's never been to/near pride but always believed live and let live.

I'm ordering a flag for my house right now...

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VitoRobles 11 points 3 months ago

That's awesome!

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Noodle07 2 points 3 months ago

I takes so much energy to hate, it makes no sense for me

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cerebralhawks 41 points 3 months ago

I wish I had this image when people were asking me to qualify, as a cis/hetero male, my attendance at a Pride event.

I went to four Pride events in June. One each weekend. Had a great time at each of them.

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Opisek 22 points 3 months ago

Love all my allies

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velma 19 points 3 months ago

Everyone who wants to be at pride belongs at pride <3

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cerebralhawks 9 points 3 months ago

Thanks. I never thought Pride was "for me" because the Pride flag didn't represent me (as in, I am neither Lesbian, nor Gay, nor Bisexual, nor Transgender, nor Queer). I now feel that the Pride flag represents all of us (including cis/het) and means that a rainbow is beautiful because it encompasses all the colours. This may not be what everyone sees in the flag (I know each colour has its own meaning), but that is my takeaway and it's why I'm proud to see the rainbow flag fly.

I'm so glad I went, though. I saw a shirt that really changed my perspective on it. It said that the first Pride was a riot. That's actually true, the Stonewall riots in 1969 is really what started all of it. Like any civil rights movement, those whose rights are being fought for have experienced violence and have had to face real risk and danger to their person, property, and livelihood in order to get the rights they have now, and in order to continue to fight for their rights. That is why I think it's important for people who are "outside of LGBTQ+" to stand with those who are in it, like the sign says, because they deserve to feel safe. But I cannot fully discount the points of view that say "if you have nothing to lose you have no business pretending you do." Except I don't pretend. I'm there for my cousin and my nephew and my middle school best friend who are all trans. For my mom and stepmom who are gay (lesbian, and have been married 30+ years). For all their wonderful friends and partners and others I've met who were queer/questioning, maybe they decided they were cis and/or het after all, or maybe they experimented; either way they all deserve to feel as safe as those of us who are cis/het. Same with Black/white.

I believe we should not judge people for how they're made, but for how they treat others. That's the rainbow I'm proud of. Or as Roddenberry put it, IDIC — Infinite Diversity [in] Infinite Combinations. This is the philosophy of the Vulcans in Star Trek, but I think it's based on Darwin's quote about "endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful" in his theory of evolution. Oh — here's the full quote: “There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved.” What that says to me is that LGBTQ+ is a natural human evolution and that all of these diversities and forms are wonderful and contribute to the human experience.

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velma 5 points 3 months ago

Shut up, you actually made me cry with this you're so sweet. but don't actually shut up of course this is beautiful

Thank you for being an ally. Just as straight cis people can be allies, gays are allies to lesbians, lesbians allies to bisexuals, etc. We're all in this together and by fighting for each other's rights, we're fighting for our own.

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pmk 11 points 3 months ago

People were asking you to qualify? That sounds strange to me.

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velma 9 points 3 months ago

I’ve been questioned if I belong due to being bisexual. There are exclusive jerks in the LGBT+ community as well, but luckily they’re usually few and far between.

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kadotux 7 points 3 months ago

As I bisexual I often feel like that too. Never encountered any straight-up (pun not intended) rejection, but always felt kinda weird looks from both cis and LGBT+ people when the topic comes up. Seems like I'm left out regardless of where I am. :/

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velma 9 points 3 months ago

The Stonewall Riot was started by a bisexual woman. We make up the largest percentage of the LGBT+ community. You belong 💕

Sometimes monosexual types have a hard time wrapping their head around bisexuals and our attractions. And some people reject what they don’t understand. That’s their journey to figure out and has no reflection on you!

Happy Pride!

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blockheadjt 3 points 3 months ago

Maybe the people thought they looked like ICE

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cactusupyourbutt 3 points 3 months ago

huh thats weird, my local pride explicitly invites allies as well

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VitoRobles 3 points 3 months ago

That's weird as heck brother and maybe they dealt with motherfuckers/undercover assholes a while back so they're playing extra safe.

The decade I've been at pride parades, it's like any other parade. Just have fun. Hell people were even dressing up their dogs in rainbow outfits. Nobody was checking with anything unless you were there to cause trouble

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spirinolas 1 point 3 months ago

I used to love the gay parties at a night club in my city. I'm a guy and I would be approached very aggressively by women there. I was never approached by a guy. Life's misteries...

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velma 3 points 3 months ago

This is what happens when straights take over queer spaces.

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spirinolas 1 point 3 months ago

What do you mean take over?

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velma 2 points 3 months ago

When a queer space becomes more popular for straight people, the culture changes. Straight people outnumber gay people quite a bit. So when a place becomes popular it can quickly change from being a queer space to being just another bar or dance club, etc.

It's tough because I know that queer spaces are usually very welcoming and inclusive. And I personally don't mind straight people enjoying the safety these spaces provide here and there. My own straight partner will sometimes come with me to the local gay bar for example. But it can be difficult to balance.

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venusaur -10 points 3 months ago

Way to make it about yourself

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Yliaster 9 points 3 months ago

Imagine attacking allies.

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Snowman_sir 24 points 3 months ago

I typically keep to myself. But I do like the message. 👍

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VitoRobles 4 points 3 months ago

If you can do it, do it. But if you're feeling unsafe, we got you.

I put one up in solidarity.

Not gay or anything - just an ally. Any fools who want to cause trouble, I'll take one for the team to protect the others.

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Snowman_sir 3 points 3 months ago

oh nothing like that, I'm just a bit of an introvert. Unless I have to protect some one. Just not a talker. This is one of my first posts here in months 😅

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Triumph 17 points 3 months ago

Fuck yes.

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spirinolas 16 points 3 months ago

I feel like an idiot because I never looked at it that way. Even though I mention in conversations that I would never feel safe being openly gay in a conservative town like mine.

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pineapplelover 5 points 3 months ago

I would love to rep pride flag because I think it's dope but I also don't want to make people think I'm gay. Definitely respond to me and try to convince me otherwise because this is the sole reason I don't rep a rainbow flag on any of my belongings

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Pogbom 4 points 3 months ago

Hmm... what's wrong with people thinking you're gay? Are you worried it'll turn away potential partners? Even if that's the case, it could also mean you're bisexual or non-binary but completely into women.

Hell, any woman that would be interested in you anyways wouldn't think "oh, he's got a pride flag... better not talk to him". If anything it'll just solidify you as an ally to a group that you're not a part of. It's basically just an "I'm not an asshole" flag. I bet it would even score you some points.

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pineapplelover 1 point 3 months ago

That's an interesting perspective. In fact, gay fellers approaching me would even give me a bigger smile for the rest of the day.

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Pogbom 2 points 3 months ago

Hell yeah, that's a lesson I learned early on. I might not wanna see YOU naked, but I'm still flattered you wanna see ME naked haha.

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porter70000 4 points 3 months ago

Ally for life!

👊

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trslim 3 points 3 months ago

I went to FWA back in April, (or was it May, i can't remember,) and it was the safest i had almost ever felt in my life.

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OozingPositron 2 points 3 months ago

Thinking someone is on your side for wearing 🏳️‍🌈 items is the same kind of quick judgement as thinking someone is not because he's not wearing 🏳️‍🌈 items, thinking someone is not on your side for wearing 🏳️‍🌈 items and the opposite. I do believe this person or any other should be able to wear 🏳️‍🌈 items without using erroneous logic, I can see the first statement being absolutely true and valid, for example.

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vantablack 10 points 3 months ago

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Lemming6969 2 points 3 months ago

Fair

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GhostFace -22 points 3 months ago

That's actually a really bad reason though, isn't it?

Makes it seem performative but also encourages bad actors to adopt the imagery and suddenly no one feels safe.

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velma 22 points 3 months ago

I couldn't tell you if any of my neighbors with pride flags on their houses are actually queer. It doesn't matter.

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GhostFace -2 points 3 months ago
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Binturong 8 points 3 months ago
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LadyButterfly 3 points 3 months ago

Hi mate! We don't allow politics so had to delete your comment

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velma 6 points 3 months ago

Showing solidarity by flying a pride flag outside of one's house is not some slippery slope to being thrown into concentration camps.

Like it's actually kind of outrageous to push that people willing to fly a pride flag outside of their personal homes could be spies that are lying in wait for years and years and years as your neighbor to turn on you later.

We're in the wholesome community as a reminder.

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LadyButterfly 3 points 3 months ago

Hey mate! We don't allow politics here so I'm deleting your comment

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AdolfSchmitler 8 points 3 months ago

Not sure how wanting people to feel safe is "performative"?
And I promise you no maga would put pride apparel on their stuff to "own the libs".

What was the reason this is so bad again?

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Binturong 5 points 3 months ago

What's performative is people loudly condemning it on the grounds of their own personal beliefs as if those should dictate the lives of others rather than be observed by those devoted to their ideals. For example it's telling to me that people immediately need to twist what is a very clear mesage of intent and concoct hypotheticals to make it appear insincere or even dangerous.

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Anarki_ 2 points 3 months ago

Are you a dumbass or just cosplaying? 🤔

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