Anybody have tips on how to deal with (unwanted) male attention? I'm tired of feeling like a piece of meat when I go out

a month ago by speedythefirst to c/mtf

Eq0 29 points a month ago

Warning: These are not good tips, but they can help if you just want a chill moment.

Dress down - don’t accentuate your body

Prefer spaces with more women than men

Prefer nerdy spaces - as much as it is a cliche the place I had the least attention were engineering classes, even if I was close to the only woman in there

Loudly and randomly proclaim that “your boyfriend… something-something”

It gets better when you are older

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magic_smoke 33 points a month ago

The worst part about the "It gets better when you get older" is that I know damn well that shit starts at like 12 for cis women.

Men can be such fucking pigs.

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Nouvellalia 9 points a month ago

Older like 50. And it's not "12 for cis women" it's "12 for people cis men think can take a dick", which includes plenty of trans girs.

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magic_smoke 6 points a month ago

You know you're not wrong, its just always felt like a different flavor.

Maybe no one cat-called me, but they certainly started the prison r*** jokes real early.

Also the only thing worse than being told that it stopped for someone at fifty, are the women who I've heard say it stops/slows down by like 22/23.

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Malica 5 points a month ago

Was 12 for me, grown men

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tmyakal 21 points a month ago

"your boyfriend... something-something"

I have only ever seen this get met with some variation of, "He doesn't have to know."

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Eq0 12 points a month ago

Yikes! I never had that reaction, luckily… but… gross!

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wolfrasin 24 points a month ago

Cis here but, intimidating accessories. Since I started wearing a pocket belt, people just don't. What's in those pockets? You don't know.

Cool folks compliment the belt. Shitty folks think I'm not worth the trouble or maybe a cop.

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mx_smith 2 points a month ago

May I ask what a pocket belt is? Is that like a waist pouch or a Fanny pack?

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wolfrasin 4 points a month ago

Or

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ViaGetty 2 points 23 days ago

Oh wow! Yes please, I'll take eight!

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wolfrasin 1 point 23 days ago

Unfortunately the second design is not available anymore. Its by KrackenWhip. First one is by Flowtoys.com & affordable! Fits large folks with extra lacing, they'll give you some, just ask. Etsy also has cool designs by "CyberGypsyFashion" and "TalismanaDesigns"

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wolfrasin 3 points a month ago

It's like a fanny pack/bum bag, but it usually has multiple pockets spread on the belt, usually to the sides so one can sit comfortably. It looks more like a tradesman's toolbelt or a cop's belt than a fanny pack.

I'll attempt a pic

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applebusch 24 points a month ago

i wish i did... this might be a good question for c/womensstuff, but im sure the comments would become a battleground.

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Gullible 14 points a month ago path: 0 25848605 25848870, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 0
TheGingerNut 19 points a month ago

Pretending you didn't hear them often helps. Not always, sometimes they're right stubborn about it but I've been wolf whistled and received some truly odd comments and just not even glanced their direction and most of them do not bother to follow up. They're looking for a reaction. Don't make it easy for them

Hell, one time I was out with a group, and they were talking to some kids and they asked if I was a boy or a girl and I straight up ignored them and let the group answer for me. Didn't even open my mouth. A little scary but I loved the results honestly.

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StrassMav 17 points a month ago
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Ekybio 7 points a month ago

I do this when I am at a cruising sauna I sometimes go to:

If people touch me there without consent or give me too much attention, I act a little psycho. Things like "If you like your fingers so much on my skin, can I keep them? No nerd for the rest" are quite common to hear.

Bonus points if you carry a pair of garden sheers with traces of red and brown nail polish on them that you can pull out!

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Bryllyg 18 points a month ago

The problem I have with that, is that threatening violence with an object is one of the grounds that someone can use to file a protective order and drag you into court.

I would be extremely careful doing that especially in a public place because if they get vindictive it becomes a huge legal hassle and they would have witnesses. In the USA you can't ask for a public defender because it's not a criminal case.

Just passing this along for safety information. Thank you for sharing what you did, I think it's cool that there are places like that to seek adventures.

💜

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oftheair 5 points a month ago

Pepper Spray.

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Bo7a 4 points a month ago

Finding the little communities like folk punk, just as an example, can be really really helpful. Yes, there will be CIS men at a folk punk festival or concert, but they won't be ogling people and they most likely won't be chasers.

That kind of small community polices itself fairly well when it comes to creeps. And although no community is pure and good when a smaller community finds one of those types of people, it's much easier to push them out. So fewer people try the bullshit.

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Broken_Orange_Juice 0 points a month ago

Apologies if this is offensive for trans folk, I'm quite clueless, but If a man is misogynistic enough to harass a woman, then they're almost certainly transphobic enough to be entirely put off by "I have a dick."

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DaPorkchop_ 36 points a month ago

in my experience you are correct, but there's a significant chance they'll react violently rather than just giving up and walking away.

also a surprisingly high percentage will not care and even double down (and occasionally you find these creeps intentionally looking for trans women). this is common enough that we have a slang term for them, "chasers".

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Broken_Orange_Juice 5 points a month ago

Gosh that sounds awful. Reacting violently to someone having a penis is a bit funny to think about but so terrible to think that's a real thing that people experience.

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Walk_blesseD 8 points a month ago

Terrible idea. At best he'll just have more fuel with which to keep harassing her, at worst the situation could turn violent and your 'advice' will have made a bunch of onlookers take the creep's side.

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EatMyPixelDust 8 points a month ago

Yeahhhh noooo.... that is not a good response at all, that likely gets you the "you tricked me into being attracted to you" or other victim-blaming BS response and you probably get assaulted or worse.

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