Leebra programmer_humor
login register

I love fun quizzes like this. Let’s all share!

25 days ago by cannedtuna to c/programmer_humor

save

share

report

queerlilhayseed 291 points 25 days ago 
-----BEGIN OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----  
WhattheAAAAdidyoujustAAAAAAAsayaboutmeyoulittlebitch+IllhaveyouknowIg  
raduatedtopofmyclassintheNavySealsandIvebeeninvolvedinnumeroussecretr  
aidsonAl+QuaedaandIhaveover300confirmedkillsIamtrainedingorillawarfar  
eandImthetopsniperintheentireUSarmedforcesYouarenothingtomebutjustano  
thertargetIwillwipeyoutheAAAAoutwithprecisionthelikesofwhichhasneverb  
eenseenbeforeonthisEarthmarkmyAAAAAAAwordsYouthinkyoucangetawaywithsa  
yingthatshittomeovertheInternet+ThinkagainAAAAAAAswespeakIamcontactin  
gmysecretnetworkofspiesacrosstheUSAandyourIPisbeingtracedrightnowsoyo  
ubetterprepareforthestormmaggotThestormthatwipesoutthepatheticlittlet  
hingyoucallyourlifeYoureAAAAAAAdeadkidIcanbeanywhereanytimeandIcankil  
lyouinoversevenhundredwaysandthatsjustwithmybarehandsNotonlyamIextens  
ivelytrainedinunarmedcombatbutIhaveaccesstotheentirearsenaloftheUnite  
dStatesAAAAAACorpsandIwilluseittoitsfullextenttowipeyourmiserableasso  
ffthefaceofthecontinentyoulittleshitIfonlyyoucouldhaveknownwhatunholy  
retributionyourlittle/clever/commentwasabouttobringdownuponyoumaybeyo  
uwouldhaveheldyourAAAAAAAtongueButyoucouldntyoudidntandnowyourepaying  
thepriceyougoddamnidiotIwillshitfuryalloveryouandyouwilldrowninitYour  
eAAAAAAAdeadkiddo==  
-----END OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----

EDIT: almost forgot to sign it!

Love,
/u/queerlilhayseed

save

path: 0 25868133, hotness: undefined, score: 291, children: 14
eager_eagle 101 points 25 days ago

hehe you have the word ass in your private key, what are the odds

save

path: 0 25868133 25868275, hotness: undefined, score: 101, children: 2
queerlilhayseed 131 points 25 days ago

I insert swears into all my ssh keys so they get censored out by profanity filters. Good luck hacking me now, squares 😎🏍️🛹

save

path: 0 25868133 25868275 25868360, hotness: undefined, score: 131, children: 1
Sabata11792 42 points 25 days ago

You should put in some Disney lyrics so they issue a takedown request if it leaks.

save

path: 0 25868133 25868275 25868360 25871332, hotness: undefined, score: 42, children: 0
terranoid 19 points 25 days ago

The == had me wondering for too long

save

path: 0 25868133 25868791, hotness: undefined, score: 19, children: 8
queerlilhayseed 47 points 25 days ago

Haha I started trying to format the text so that it was technically a valid ed25519 key, then it became too much work for a silly joke so I settled for filtering/replacing all the invalid chars and slapping the == padding at the end. Needs more AAAAAA strings to really sell it, I think, but I'm glad it turned out well enough to merit a second glance lol.

Edit: I swapped all instances of fuck|fucker|fucking with As, I think it's an improvement.

save

path: 0 25868133 25868791 25868936, hotness: undefined, score: 47, children: 7
Magnum 17 points 25 days ago

It is very good - I will steal it.

save

path: 0 25868133 25868791 25868936 25870137, hotness: undefined, score: 17, children: 6
jaybone 18 points 25 days ago

Now reverse engineer a matching public key.

save

path: 0 25868133 25868791 25868936 25870137 25870179, hotness: undefined, score: 18, children: 3
queerlilhayseed 7 points 25 days ago

Someone help I'm being hacked!

save

path: 0 25868133 25868791 25868936 25870137 25872893, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
Trampampoline 5 points 25 days ago

NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW

save

path: 0 25868133 25868791 25868936 25870137 25870280, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
Redjard 5 points 25 days ago

Shortest RSA key.

save

path: 0 25868133 25874292, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
tetris11 1 point 19 days ago

Or "Little Whatty Kiddo" as we like to call him ^-^

save

path: 0 25868133 25971130, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
KickMeElmo 132 points 25 days ago

Is it bad that this bothers me purely because the public key can be derived from the private key, so providing both is unnecessary?

save

path: 0 25868076, hotness: undefined, score: 132, children: 3
trashman 52 points 25 days ago

I don't geht it. Can you explain it with your key as an example?

save

path: 0 25868076 25871385, hotness: undefined, score: 52, children: 0
one_old_coder 16 points 25 days ago

Not bad, I had the same thought.

save

path: 0 25868076 25868624, hotness: undefined, score: 16, children: 0
NocturnalMorning 12 points 25 days ago

Can you give me your private key so I can understand it better?

save

path: 0 25868076 25871452, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 0
Rusty 131 points 25 days ago

save

path: 0 25873564, hotness: undefined, score: 131, children: 0
glibg10b 78 points 25 days ago 
-----BEGIN OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----
b3BlbnNzaC1rZXktdjEAAAAABG5vbmUAAAAEbm9uZQAAAAAAAAABAAAAMwAAAAtzc2gtZW
QyNTUxOQAAACC6BPuFW94rFl033+m7MHTouxkIdEXsilx+sI6Z6Iul7AAAAJAHHAUZBxwF
GQAAAAtzc2gtZWQyNTUxOQAAACC6BPuFW94rFl033+m7MHTouxkIdEXsilx+sI6Z6Iul7A
AAAEAHVmMS+9A6uhD6r6iUAxubrNuS2lx4CPayJ2B4hL8HNroE+4Vb3isWXTff6bswdOi7
GQh0ReyKXH6wjpnoi6XsAAAACHdhbGRvQGhlAQIDBAU=
-----END OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----

--- PUBLIC KEY BELOW ---
ssh-ed25519 AAAAC3NzaC1lZDI1NTE5AAAAILoE+4Vb3isWXTff6bswdOi7GQh0ReyKXH6wjpnoi6Xs

save

path: 0 25870154, hotness: undefined, score: 78, children: 10
floofloof 82 points 25 days ago

What a coincidence! That's my cat's name.

save

path: 0 25870154 25870465, hotness: undefined, score: 82, children: 1
Aneb 29 points 25 days ago

I just call her whspsps instead

save

path: 0 25870154 25870465 25871042, hotness: undefined, score: 29, children: 0
NocturnalMorning 36 points 25 days ago

Bit of a mouthful to say, but I'll go with it.

save

path: 0 25870154 25871463, hotness: undefined, score: 36, children: 0
GreenKnight23 21 points 25 days ago

1000004193

save

path: 0 25870154 25874583, hotness: undefined, score: 21, children: 2
queerlilhayseed 12 points 25 days ago

One developer in the whole channel who actually read the requirements smh.

save

path: 0 25870154 25874583 25875904, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 1
floofloof 1 point 24 days ago

first name: your ssh public key

last name: your ssh private key

I think not.

save

path: 0 25870154 25874583 25875904 25889293, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Newsteinleo 17 points 25 days ago

I'm pretty sure this name is to long form my vets office database.

save

path: 0 25870154 25870922, hotness: undefined, score: 17, children: 1
Cyber 10 points 25 days ago

save

path: 0 25870154 25870922 25875365, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
kzzzl 8 points 25 days ago

let's push some files to your github

save

path: 0 25870154 25876071, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0
tetris11 1 point 19 days ago

"Little Beblib Bau"

save

path: 0 25870154 25971136, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
TheFunkyMonk 52 points 25 days ago

hunter2

save

path: 0 25867997, hotness: undefined, score: 52, children: 3
BagOfHeavyStones 26 points 25 days ago

Obligatory *******

save

path: 0 25867997 25869477, hotness: undefined, score: 26, children: 1
jim_v 9 points 25 days ago

When you type your password all I see are stars.

save

path: 0 25867997 25869477 25871638, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 0
AusatKeyboardPremi 5 points 25 days ago

I clicked on this post looking for this comment. Otherwise, I would have made it.

The ******* joke and its premise never fails to make me smile.

save

path: 0 25867997 25875303, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
Alexica 49 points 25 days ago

id_rsa id_rsa.pub

save

path: 0 25868213, hotness: undefined, score: 49, children: 4
Scoopta 25 points 25 days ago

🤔 I do believe this is backwards, or you're Japanese

save

path: 0 25868213 25868485, hotness: undefined, score: 25, children: 1
Alexica 23 points 25 days ago

I’m dislexic. My friends call me Dislexica

save

path: 0 25868213 25868485 25870184, hotness: undefined, score: 23, children: 0
friend_of_satan 13 points 25 days ago

lol, rsa in 2026.

save

path: 0 25868213 25870701, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 1
Scoopta 5 points 25 days ago

Other than size of the keys there's nothing wrong with it. Still plenty secure (from classical attacks)

save

path: 0 25868213 25870701 25877551, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
shiftymccool 46 points 25 days ago

Should be private ssh key and public ip address. public key can be derived if necessary and it does you no good to have a key to an unknown door

save

path: 0 25870596, hotness: undefined, score: 46, children: 5
thevoidzero -1 points 25 days ago

If you only know private key and not public key then isn't it the same as only knowing public key? I thought those were interchangeable

save

path: 0 25870596 25873243, hotness: undefined, score: -1, children: 4
minfapper 16 points 25 days ago

You can derive the public key from the private key

save

path: 0 25870596 25873243 25874733, hotness: undefined, score: 16, children: 2
mcheva 4 points 25 days ago

How? Can you give me the commands I've seen it mentioned here a few times I want to try it.

save

path: 0 25870596 25873243 25874733 25882401, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1
zorro 9 points 25 days ago

save

path: 0 25870596 25873243 25874733 25882401 25883499, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 0
coriza 2 points 25 days ago

I thought that too but they are not. I discovered that recently learning and configuring wireguard.

save

path: 0 25870596 25873243 25873397, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
tourist 38 points 25 days ago

I normally just skip keygen

it's such a hassle

besides, it means I can connect from anywhere

no one checks the ssh port on prod anyway

save

path: 0 25874551, hotness: undefined, score: 38, children: 2
Aqivex 18 points 25 days ago

Are you my former boss?

save

path: 0 25874551 25876194, hotness: undefined, score: 18, children: 0
Croquette 6 points 24 days ago

Your comment startled me even though I knew that it was a joke.

save

path: 0 25874551 25889922, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
reader 34 points 25 days ago

public: fake

private: gay

save

path: 0 25868238, hotness: undefined, score: 34, children: 1
undefinedTruth 20 points 25 days ago

That's a private / pubic key pair.

save

path: 0 25868238 25868810, hotness: undefined, score: 20, children: 0
saltnotsugar 34 points 25 days ago

Public: Ssssssshhhh!
Private: Sssssshhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

save

path: 0 25868182, hotness: undefined, score: 34, children: 0
blurry 25 points 25 days ago

Please mark your territory by posting the hosts you have visited with your favorite cat name.

save

path: 0 25869704, hotness: undefined, score: 25, children: 0
Viking_Hippie 19 points 25 days ago

My public key:

save

path: 0 25878465, hotness: undefined, score: 19, children: 0
Zier 17 points 25 days ago

Public key: b26Stop543looking957at140me8339when8709Im10114naked73856 Private Key: Oh SnAp!

save

path: 0 25871627, hotness: undefined, score: 17, children: 3
CedricWhaley 6 points 25 days ago

All I see is ********

save

path: 0 25871627 25877712, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 2
aport 5 points 24 days ago

Hunter2

save

path: 0 25871627 25877712 25885290, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
Zier 2 points 24 days ago

You seem to be missing a "***".

save

path: 0 25871627 25877712 25884300, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
gressen 12 points 25 days ago

Public key can be derived from private key.

save

path: 0 25868175, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 1
NaibofTabr 32 points 25 days ago

right but why would I bother doing the extra work if I can just get it from you

save

path: 0 25868175 25868383, hotness: undefined, score: 32, children: 0
wopalopa 8 points 25 days ago

192.168.0.1 1.1.1.1

damn im cute

save

path: 0 25868281, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 1
18107 7 points 25 days ago

I tried hacking you, but my router coincidentally failed at the same time. You got lucky this time.

save

path: 0 25868281 25875168, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
runner_g 7 points 25 days ago

I like to update mine based on the season. Right now it's Freddy: JSON

save

path: 0 25873841, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
Shindo66 4 points 25 days ago

Jokes on you, I have no idea what youre talking about

save

path: 0 25870321, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1
lukalix98 5 points 25 days ago

I think jokes on you x2 then.

save

path: 0 25870321 25870959, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
akunohana 3 points 25 days ago

Public: myPrivateKey_is
Private: PasswordProtected_so

save

path: 0 25868546, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
ruuster13 3 points 25 days ago

Pussy Oliver

how do I save as ssh keys is that part of apple key ring?

save

path: 0 25868540, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
ekZepp 2 points 25 days ago

Little Satan hellper

save

path: 0 25870902, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Snapz 2 points 25 days ago

What's your FUN pirate captain name???

If you're alone most of the day, have lots of valuables in your home and don't own any weapons, reply, "I'm Captain Robin Murderme, Matey!"

save

path: 0 25879679, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
anarchy79 2 points 24 days ago

Cat! My cat is named Cat! The exclamation mark is part of the name.

save

path: 0 25896426, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 2
tetris11 1 point 19 days ago

"Cat! The cat" like "Portugal. the man"

save

path: 0 25896426 25971146, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
anarchy79 2 points 18 days ago

It's what it says on the box.

save

path: 0 25896426 25971146 26001334, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Dana 2 points 24 days ago

I set all my SSH private keys to privilege 745 with random numbers modified, maximum accessibility

save

path: 0 25888607, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
programmer_humor
programmer_humor

@programming.dev

login for more options
33571
2550
7101

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

  • Keep content in english
  • No advertisements
  • Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
    • If the mod doesn't find it funny, you're banned. Ha-ha!... For real: do not use the community for "statements". There are other places for such content. Keep it chill and funny.

go to feed...