most people want to quiet anything that makes them face any unhappy reality

That has been my experience with many (but not all) neurotypical people, most of whom had no reason to care about me. It's a little different if they're extended family or friends of family who try their best to care.

The most success I've had is chatting with other people who have autism/ADHD. It takes some practice to be both a listener and a speaker, but you can learn some cool things by pretending to be interested, and sometimes you'll find someone who is really interested i n what you have to say.

TL;DR: Talk to more people who share some interests / personality traits with you.

Feels like people prefer to just hint at their opinion with catchphrases most of the time, and agree with each other.

Talk even louder. As a kid I was always the “oh I got interrupted, guess I’ll give up”

Now I’m like “I will hold your whole ass head in front of my face and force this conversation into your brain. Try me.”

I think it is important to ask yourself: why should my opinion matter to someone else?

If a group of people are trying to decide where to go to eat, then it is important to factor in a lot if information. What are everyone's dietary restrictions? What about budget concerns, time concerns, other sensory input concerns (like how most restaurants today are purposefully loud and uncomfortable to encourage faster table turnover)? And then, what are everyone's taste preferences? This is the kind of thing that has a material impact and is part of engaging with a group.

Then there cases where wanting to understand someone else's opinion is part of having a deeper relationship. You don't HAVE to, but you want to. As I am typing this I am listening to a new album from my gf's favorite band. I don't particularly like them- I find them musically uncreative and the vocals/lyrics are obnoxious and direct for my taste, but I want to understand my gf better. And our polycule is going to see them live tonight.

I don't expect my coworkers to care that my favorite Pokémon is Absol. I do expect my coworkers to care when I give best practices on how to use the software I have implemented for our department.

What's your opinion?

Fuck the grownups. They talk shit. Look around at the state of the world. Avoid them and let them continue their talking, they don't have much to say. Your opinion is as valid as any others, just keep swinging. If they start to call you names just remember, when that happens they are all out of coherent arguments.

I care. Tell me your opinion.

They also don’t care what the people they appear to be listening to are saying either they’re just waiting for their turn to hear themselves talk

Social standing is very important in neurotypical society and largely determines whether or not those people should care about what you have to say.

Autism puts you at a huge disadvantage; if you want to be treated as a equal by the NT folks... it's pretty important to ask yourself why that matters to you.

Better off finding some similar folks to connect with and not care about the neurotypicals petty judgements. They are often quite happy to be wrong as long as they agree with each other.

You make more friends listening. Ultimately it doesn't matter either way. Would you rather have friends or talk?