It's a little frightening.

2 days ago by FuglyDuck to c/atheism

"Florida Man commands people sell their possessions and follow him into the hills swamps"

"Florida Man puts mud into blind person's eyes."

"Florida Man Found in giant box with animals from the zoo after surviving the huricane. 40 days at sea."

_deleted_ 80 points 2 days ago

Florida man tells his daughter’s fiancé to collect a hundred foreskins before they can get married.

path: 0 26257505, hotness: undefined, score: 80, children: 2
JoeBigelow 8 points 2 days ago

Winner so far imo!

path: 0 26257505 26257562, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 1
FuglyDuck 13 points 2 days ago

“Second Florida man brought 200 instead.”

path: 0 26257505 26257562 26257762, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 0
TaterTot 53 points 2 days ago

Florida Man kicked out of public garden after stealing apples from a protected tree.

Tells police his wife convinced him to do it after she had "taken bad advice from a snake".

path: 0 26258205, hotness: undefined, score: 53, children: 1
ChaoticEntropy 6 points 2 days ago

I rarely hear of snakes giving good advice.

path: 0 26258205 26261323, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
ConHoliousDonFrankle 42 points 2 days ago

Florida Man abducts two of every animal and shoves them in his homemade boat.

path: 0 26257864, hotness: undefined, score: 42, children: 3
Kenny2999 9 points 2 days ago

Probably one of these

path: 0 26257864 26259998, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 0
jaybone 7 points 2 days ago

First read this as “shaves them” and didn’t remember that from the original story.

path: 0 26257864 26259333, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1
FuglyDuck 1 point a day ago

they were bored, okay?

path: 0 26257864 26259333 26277588, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
ThatGuy46475 41 points 2 days ago

Florida man offers his daughters to angry mob to protect his buddy

path: 0 26257294, hotness: undefined, score: 41, children: 1
ytg 2 points 2 days ago

Florida man offers his daughters to angry mob to protect his buddy

[…] daughters intoxicate, rape him in ensuing chaos

path: 0 26257294 26269652, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
human 31 points 2 days ago

Florida man claims wife turned into (bath) salts

path: 0 26257353, hotness: undefined, score: 31, children: 0
AzuranAurora 31 points 2 days ago

Florida Man Curses Fig Tree for Refusing to Bear Fruit Out of Season

path: 0 26258840, hotness: undefined, score: 31, children: 0
fyzzlefry 28 points 2 days ago

Florida man distributes bootleg wine to crowd.

path: 0 26259352, hotness: undefined, score: 28, children: 0
enbyfemby 25 points 2 days ago

Florida man turned pastor eaten by whale

path: 0 26257630, hotness: undefined, score: 25, children: 7
chiliedogg 12 points 2 days ago

I think it would be more correct to say Florida man tuned pastor after being eaten by whale.

path: 0 26257630 26258341, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 6
jaybone 4 points 2 days ago

Florida man lives in whale

path: 0 26257630 26258341 26259345, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 4
Viking_Hippie 1 point 2 days ago

Florida in whale

path: 0 26257630 26258341 26259345 26260094, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 3
HerbalGamer 2 points 2 days ago

Florida Manwhale

path: 0 26257630 26258341 26259345 26260094 26262167, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 2
DaPorkchop_ 3 points 2 days ago

florida whale eats man-turned-pastor

path: 0 26257630 26258341 26262293, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
farmgineer 19 points 2 days ago

Florida man claims wife is sister to entrap thirsty, high-ranking official. At least twice.

path: 0 26258346, hotness: undefined, score: 19, children: 3
FuglyDuck 12 points 2 days ago

“Alabama man saved from Florida man’s entrapment because he couldn’t get it up.”

path: 0 26258346 26258419, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 1
Viking_Hippie 6 points 2 days ago

And that's how we know that she WASN'T Alabama Man's sister!

path: 0 26258346 26258419 26260089, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
ytg 2 points 2 days ago

Official subsequently infected with (possibly sexually transmitted) skin disease

path: 0 26258346 26269684, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
BillyClark 18 points 2 days ago

Florida man breaks quarantine to host gathering of people suffering from highly contagious disease.

path: 0 26259122, hotness: undefined, score: 18, children: 0
lauha 15 points 2 days ago

Florida Man tell people to throw babies in Nile.

path: 0 26257767, hotness: undefined, score: 15, children: 0
BlaestEgnen 14 points 2 days ago

Florida man splits a lake in two with a stick and guides tourists through it

path: 0 26259668, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 0
TheTechnician27 14 points 2 days ago

"Florida man chops up his mistress after she's raped to death and mails the pieces to his friends"

path: 0 26258017, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 2
Colloidal 3 points 2 days ago

WTF? I don't recall that one.

path: 0 26258017 26262969, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1
TheTechnician27 3 points 2 days ago

Levite's concubine. It's actually so fucked up that I had to tone down and oversimplify it to make it just barely fit into a "Florida man" headline.

path: 0 26258017 26262969 26266828, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
baggachipz 14 points 2 days ago

Florida Man has rib stolen, claims it turned into another person

path: 0 26261884, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 0
5715 13 points 2 days ago

Florida man claims bush talked to him after setting fire to it

path: 0 26261448, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 2
MonkderVierte 1 point 2 days ago

Aactually, there's a kind of shrub on there hills that tends to set itself aflame.

path: 0 26261448 26263579, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
5715 3 points 2 days ago

Florida man begets arson in neighbouring city after claiming 'it is too gay'

path: 0 26261448 26263579 26264948, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
nickiwest 12 points 2 days ago

Florida man orchestrates subordinate's death so he can marry the widow

path: 0 26262240, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 0
SkunkWorkz 12 points 2 days ago

The story of Lot is definitely set in Florida.

Before bedtime, Florida Men both young and old and from every part of Sodom surrounded Lot’s house. They called to Lot, “Where are the two men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so we can have sexual relations with them.”

Also

One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old. Everywhere on the earth Florida Women and Florida Men marry, but there are no Florida Men around here for us to marry. Let’s get our father drunk and have sexual relations with him. We can use him to have children and continue our family.”

path: 0 26261564, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 0
jaybone 11 points 2 days ago

Florida man turns water into wine… in prison. With ketchup packets.

path: 0 26259398, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 0
eah 10 points 2 days ago

Florida man harasses bitcoin traders at prosperity gospel church, sentenced to death

path: 0 26263290, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In 9 points 2 days ago

Florida man pranks friends by pretending to be dead for 3 days.

path: 0 26261560, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 0
Kolanaki 9 points 2 days ago

Florida man puts God in a headlock; demands blessing.

path: 0 26259361, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 0
elucubra 9 points 2 days ago

I find this really triggering. This is cultural appropriation of the worst kind.

path: 0 26260356, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 2
FuglyDuck 4 points 2 days ago

I think you might need to explain.

Are you upset that I’m mocking the Bible?

path: 0 26260356 26260760, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1
elucubra 8 points 2 days ago

No, no. You are appropriating Florida man lore.

I betcha wouldn't go doing Minnesota Nice jokes around.

BTW, I don't need to explain myself. I might be kind enough to do it, but I am under no obligation.

Oh, and I only answer to god. (lower case g, in case this needs explaining too).

path: 0 26260356 26260760 26261014, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0
julysfire 7 points 2 days ago

Florida woman cuts off foreskin of child, rubs it in Florida Man's feet.

path: 0 26262453, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
DampSquid 7 points 2 days ago

Florida Man says he is a ghost, and God.

path: 0 26260263, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 2
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 6 points 2 days ago

Florida Man denies claiming he's a ghost and a god but expects you to say it

path: 0 26260263 26261368, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
MonkderVierte 1 point 2 days ago

Govt. made a deal with the church: 300 years dead Florida priest is also god.

path: 0 26260263 26263620, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
RampantParanoia2365 5 points 2 days ago

Florida Man completely debilitated after mullet cut off. Files for Disability.

path: 0 26263861, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
ytg 5 points 2 days ago

Florida man genuinely did nothing wrong but the world seems to detest him; friends convinced that it's his own fault

path: 0 26260966, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
SnarkoPolo 5 points 2 days ago

FLORIDA MAN OVERDOSES ON ERGOT; CLAIMS TO SEE ZOMBIE GOD

path: 0 26258181, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
Lushed_Lungfish 4 points 2 days ago

Florida Man attempts to hide evidence of corruption by flooding basement.

path: 0 26264009, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
btsax 4 points 2 days ago

Florida man caught hoarding animals in large boat

path: 0 26262315, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
dregan 3 points a day ago

Florida man drugged and sexually assaulted by his own daughters.

path: 0 26275462, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
sp3ctr4l 3 points 2 days ago

Florida man smacks pet talking donkey, talking donkey explains that it was trying to tell him about the/an invisible angel of death blocking their path.

Florida man besieged by local mob, suggested they rape his virgin daughters instead of his dinner guests.

Florida man harassed by local children for his baldness, summons bears, 42 children killed.

path: 0 26265141, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Wataba 2 points 2 days ago

Wow, this triggered a long buried memory aboit Pyrion Flax discussing the bear story on the podcast. It sounded like a fever dream.

path: 0 26261688, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
BilSabab 2 points 2 days ago

it kinda makes too much sense

path: 0 26261398, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Gpennyhigh 2 points 2 days ago

Florida man takes the animals from all islands on the globe and keeps them on a big boat w/o food and water, and later returns them to their devastated lands and they all died.

path: 0 26265146, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
phoenixz 1 point 2 days ago

Well yeah, makes perfect sense

path: 0 26259219, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
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