sneeze rule

3 years ago by Track_Shovel to c/196

Sabata11792 76 points 3 years ago

I say "god damn you" to unwork the broken blessing system.

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gibmiser 68 points 3 years ago

Instead try this: Say "What?" And stare at them. Wait for them to explain. Act as though you do not know what a sneeze is. Allow them to explain the process of a sneeze. Tell them you have never experienced that in your life. Wait for them to get exasperated then in a dismissive way mention that you aren't sure you believe them, and change the subject.

Congratulations, you have won this interaction.

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starman2112 5 points 3 years ago

The ol' smooth shark maneuver

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CarlsIII 38 points 3 years ago

I like to say “acknowledged!” like Picard

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lugal 20 points 3 years ago

"I'm going to sneeze."

"Make it so!"

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CertifiedBlackGuy 11 points 3 years ago

"You may fire when ready."

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lugal 7 points 3 years ago

"fire at Will."

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MartinXYZ 6 points 3 years ago

His name is spelled with one "l"; "Wil"

(He'll probably block me for that, if he's on Lemmy)

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danc4498 34 points 3 years ago

I always say “shut up” in the most annoyed way possible.

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Daft_ish 2 points 3 years ago

Lol

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doingthestuff 29 points 3 years ago

I don't see anything wrong with gesundheit. It means health. And really I feel like the German expression is just saying - be healthy dammit, and stop sneezing!

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onion 5 points 3 years ago

You can also say "Schönheit – gesund biste ja": "Beauty – you're already healthy after all"

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FlyingSquid 2 points 3 years ago

That's what my German grandfather taught me to say and it's what I say.

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JayObey711 2 points 3 years ago

It used to be something to say to yourself. A little "fuck I hope I'm not next" prayer.

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shrugal 1 point 3 years ago

I started saying "Gesundung" as a joke 10 years ago, and now I can't stop. It's not a real word, but if it were it would mean "Getting healthy". Seemed more appropriate to me at the time, and still kinda does.

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BeefPiano 23 points 3 years ago

Gesundheit

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Zorg 6 points 3 years ago

Prosit

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Diplomjodler 4 points 3 years ago

Mahlzeit!

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PlasterAnalyst 20 points 3 years ago

People who intentionally yell when they sneeze can fuck off.

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VoilaChihuahua 12 points 3 years ago

It feels very good, like physically itches the inside back of my throat (amazing if you're having an allergic response to something), while being deeply psychologically satisfying to yell from your abdomen. I try to only do it at home, but there's a reason some people scream-sneeze.

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Repelle 7 points 3 years ago

I vocalize pretty loudly when I sneeze and it’s entirely involuntary. I hate that I do it and I’ve tried to force myself to stop and it doesn’t work.

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ivanafterall 19 points 3 years ago

"Fucking grow up."

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MrJameGumb 13 points 3 years ago

This was covered extensively on an episode of Seinfeld

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PM_ME_FEET_PICS 4 points 3 years ago

You're soooooo good looking.

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PipedLinkBot 3 points 3 years ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

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TalesFromTheKitchen 13 points 3 years ago

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PipedLinkBot 2 points 3 years ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

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path: 0 4531549 4531554, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

Kolanaki 11 points 3 years ago

sneeze once "Bless you."

Sneeze twice "Gesundheit."

Sneeze three times "Ok now you're just fishing for attention."

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thejml 11 points 3 years ago

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” - in a Siri voice “Nah, I’m good, thanks though.” “Dude! You scared the crap outta me!”

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taaz 9 points 3 years ago

Ashley Johnsons reactions to Sam Riegels sneezes

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PipedLinkBot 2 points 3 years ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Ashley Johnson's reactions to Sam Riegel sneezes

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Funkymatt 9 points 3 years ago

I always 'shhhh' like a librarian would

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018118055 9 points 3 years ago

"Satan curse you"

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lugal 9 points 3 years ago

"I hate when you do that"

That's my favorite

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BlastboomStrice 7 points 3 years ago

In Greece we say "Γείτσες", which is a dimunitive for "Υγεία" (=Health), so essentially its like wishing the other person to be healthy.

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tweeks 5 points 3 years ago

We say the same in the Netherlands, and sometimes we also say the equivalent for "cheers", not sure why though.

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zib 7 points 3 years ago

I usually go with "None of that"

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DauntingFlamingo 6 points 3 years ago

Curse you.

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rbos 6 points 3 years ago

Sneezing isn't normal! I never sneeze.

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Denvil 8 points 3 years ago

I sneeze multiple times daily whenever I go outside because of ACHOO Syndrome (yes that is a real name lol)

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rbos 6 points 3 years ago

You poor dear! You should see a doctor. IT IS NOT NORMAL TO SNEEZE!

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MonkCanatella 2 points 3 years ago

That was hilarious. Gonna have to check out their podcast.

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PipedLinkBot 2 points 3 years ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

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garbagebagel 6 points 3 years ago

I like to say GOD BLESS YOU in the most dramatic exaggerated way possible immediately after I sneeze so I beat everyone to the punch. You can't bless me bitches.

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FlyingSquid 4 points 3 years ago

"Don't you dare ask God to help me," Crawford reportedly snapped at the nurses praying at her bedside, before moments later the Academy Award winner took her final breath.

https://www.express.co.uk/...

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germanatlas 5 points 3 years ago

"Well done" and "clean that up" are my favourites

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ooterness 4 points 3 years ago

I prefer the simple "Curse you."

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Viking_Hippie 4 points 3 years ago

"I disagree"

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SpaceNoodle 4 points 3 years ago

I always tell my partner to cut it out when they sneeze.

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m3t00 4 points 3 years ago

get any on you?

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potpotato 3 points 3 years ago

Ew

Yuk

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Gaspar 2 points 3 years ago

"Heard, chef"

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janet_catcus 1 point 3 years ago

recently, schatzi asked me to stop saying gesundheit or bless you or something each time she sneezes because it triggers her to sneeze again apparently...

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Resistentialism 2 points 3 years ago

Why don't you try to go for a high score? I wonder if they could whip out a 10 streak.

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Zacryon 2 points 3 years ago

My record was about 40 times in a row. I fucking hate spring.

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janet_catcus 1 point 3 years ago

well, she doesnt like to sneeze and asked me to stop, so my hands are tied and i try to not be a bother to her during an already hard time for her <3

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Resistentialism 2 points 3 years ago

Ahh, if it's like a proper dislike and she really doesn't want it. Then fair enough. I thought it was more of an annoyance

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196

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