poor Dean

3 years ago by getoffthedrugsdude to c/memes

Pistcow 125 points 3 years ago

"Stephen King made me want to become a writer. Dean Koontz made me realize I could become a writter".

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Anticorp 15 points 3 years ago

If Terry Goodkind can publish several books, and get a TV show, then anybody can!

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Thassodar 6 points 3 years ago

I used to enjoy his books and you made me look him up for the first time since the terrible Law of Nines book.

He's dead! That was a surprise! Otherwise most of the Sword of Truth series was "watch Richard take on communism........Again".

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Anticorp 4 points 3 years ago

Yeah, he died a few years ago.

I enjoyed the first couple books. The next few were okay, although all the misogyny and rape and torture fetishizing was bothering me. The Temple of the Winds was unintelligible nonsense. I had to stop in disgust and never touch another one of his books again. That is one of maybe 3-4 books I stopped and never finished in the last 20 years. Man it was awful. Plus, most of his ideas were just plagiarized from Robert Jordan. He did have a couple of unique ideas that were cool though.

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tslnox 5 points 3 years ago

To me, Terry Pratchett made me realize I could become a writer. Now I just need to convince myself to stop being lazy and start actually writing. :-D

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Mango 5 points 3 years ago

Shots fired!

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CodexArcanum 70 points 3 years ago

What's up with the word "amused" there? Looks like someone badly photoshopped a different word in.

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ilinamorato 39 points 3 years ago

Looks like some weird artifact. The original author deleted all his original tweets back in October, so I can't find the original; but he did retweet Stephen King's quote tweet of someone else's tweet of a screenshot of his original tweet (wow I hate that sentence) and that screenshot doesn't have this artifact in it.

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getoffthedrugsdude 13 points 3 years ago

This was in an old folder, no idea where it originated!

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HonkTonkWoman 7 points 3 years ago

It looks like a weird kerning issue between the e & the d, but it’s really odd that it’s only happening with those two letters.

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ilinamorato 13 points 3 years ago path: 0 6555785 6555915 6558432 6559393, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 1
HonkTonkWoman 3 points 3 years ago

Thanks for this. Super weird!

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CluckN 8 points 3 years ago

Was it originally, “fucking amused” and then they lazily moved the text over?

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TheOgreChef 48 points 3 years ago

Dean Koontz is kind of like the RC Cola of horror/suspense novelists:

  • See RC Cola in the store
  • “Hmmmm, it’s been a while, but I THINK I liked RC the last time I got it”
  • Purchase and consume RC Cola
  • “I kind of wish this was a Coke, but it’s not that bad, might as well finish”
  • Several years pass, go back to step 1

As a side note, I LOVED Dean Koontz books back in the 80’s/90’s. They were fun and quick reads that are in the “high floor, low ceiling” realm of books.

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Sanity_in_Moderation 20 points 3 years ago

What is a high floor low ceiling book?

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TheOgreChef 26 points 3 years ago

Think of it on a scale of 1-10. High floor means it’s not a stinker, so worst ranking would be in the 4/10 - 5.5/10 range. Low ceiling means it’s not going to be an all-timer, so the best ranking would be in the 6/10 - 7.5/10 range. Basically you’ll never HATE it, but you’re also never going to LOVE it.

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Rodeo 8 points 3 years ago

Seems more like a description of the author than a particular book.

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nomous 11 points 3 years ago

It could be, all his stuff is extremely similar. He reuses character archetypes and narrative shifts throughout most of his stories.

Early on in his career it wasn't as bad but he's been churning them out for awhile.

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MJKee9 9 points 3 years ago

Reliably entertaining, but will never be considered a masterpiece.

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banneryear1868 13 points 3 years ago

Basically moved on from youth novels with both Dean Koontz and Stephen King. The Odd Thomas series was a fun read at that age.

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Crozekiel 9 points 3 years ago

I'm offended by this, as I much prefer RC Cola to Coke or Pepsi... :/

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mihnt 10 points 3 years ago

Dr. Pepper > Cherry RC > Cherry Coke > Cherry Pepsi.

I like cherries.

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frezik 7 points 3 years ago

Faygo Red Pop. It's not really strawberry, it's not really cherry, it's not really anything. It tastes generically red. It's also cheap and delicious.

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mihnt 5 points 3 years ago

I tried, yo. I really tried to like it. When I first moved to Michigan everyone was trying to give it to me all the time saying it's the best, but I just can't. Now, their Cherry Soda? Yum.

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jasondj 2 points 3 years ago

But where is Cheerwine?

If there’s one reason to go to the Carolinas…Cheerwine.

I went for a Solar Eclipse but that won’t happen there for a while.

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TheRedSpade 1 point 3 years ago

Don't need to go to the Carolinas for Cheerwine. I live in Indiana and got it in my grocery order a few weeks ago. I had never had it before. It was listed as "Cherry Soda". Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be cherry cola. Gross.

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FlyingSquid 45 points 3 years ago

I got to spend a couple of days at a sci-fi convention at a table next to Richard Hatch of the 1970s Battlestar Galactica fame. He was a really cool guy and we spent all day joking around. Every so often, someone would come by and say, "hey! You're uh... uh..." and I would say, "he's Dirk Benedict." (That was his BSG co-star). Once I told a lady that she better not call him Dirk Benedict because it makes him really mad.

If I had a photo of Dirk Benedict, I would have asked him to sign it.

Sadly, Richard Hatch is no longer with us. I really enjoyed hanging out with him. He was way into tabletop gaming and even would leave the table sometimes to host a session. I'm not a huge TTGer anymore, but I wish I could have had Richard Hatch as a GM.

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Sharpiemarker 11 points 3 years ago

That's a great story! What a cool experience

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FlyingSquid 14 points 3 years ago

I've had a lot of cool experiences meeting people in the sci-fi/fantasy world by working tables at sci-fi cons due to two different reasons about ten years apart, but that era of my life is over. I can only go as a regular conventioneer now. I take my daughter to them on occasion if one is nearby because she likes to look at all the cosplay.

I also got to see Gwar and The Misfits do a free double-act concert late at night at DragonCon in the 90s, which topped most of the notable people I met, even though my experience with pretty much all of them was good.

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hydroel 4 points 3 years ago

I didn't know Tom Zarek was a returning actor from the original BGS series! And the actor of Captain Apollo, no less.

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FlyingSquid 0 points 3 years ago

Oh that's right! I forgot he was in the reboot!

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chuckleslord 39 points 3 years ago

John Green first editions are less valuable if they're signed, simply because all first editions are supposed to be signed. So that's a fun fact.

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get_off_the_phone 33 points 3 years ago

Sure everyone has heard of Stephen King and most know know of Dean Koontz. But 10 year old me wants to give a shout out to the best of em, R.L. Stine.

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IMongoose 11 points 3 years ago

It would be really funny to have Stephen King and R.L. Stine sign each others books.

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Stern 3 points 3 years ago path: 0 6563570 6573470, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
kerrigan778 -1 points 3 years ago

I have some... Disappointing news for you...

EDIT

Y'know what, I think I either completely fabricated a memory in my head or more likely got the person confused. I very vividly remember hearing about a prolific wealthy author who got called out for taking credit for a lot of other people's work but I now can't find any word about it being RL Stine despite my memory. No idea who I'm remembering.

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Genrawir 11 points 3 years ago

Do tell. a quick search didn't return anything too salacious.

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jasondj 10 points 3 years ago

He’s still pumping out Goosebumps novels and had a brief YA Horror podcast?

His teenage-goosebumps, Fear Street, had a film trilogy on Netflix that was well received?

Please let me know. I hadn’t been following but my kid is getting to the age to enjoy goosebumps. I’d really like to know.

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RavenFellBlade 29 points 3 years ago

King is my favorite author, hands down, but I don't understand why so many people seem to look down at Koontz. If we're really being honest, Koontz would be much more well regarded if it weren't for the fact that he's so frequently directly compared to King, and Stephen King is a one-of-a-kind, once in a lifetime literary master. Absent the comparison to King, the bulk of Koontz's work holds up quite well. It's entertaining writing with relatable characters that are easy for become invested in. Hell, some of his ideas were not only terrifyingly imaginative, they were also oddly accurate predictions of the future. Demon Seed is uniquely chilling in that it was almost comically over the top with its seemingly ridiculous technology that has since very much become a reality.

I would also argue that Koontz has had a few film adaptations that ended up better than the King adaptations of their time. Phantoms, Watchers, Servants of Twilight, Whispers, Intensity, and Mr. Murder were all pretty great.

Koontz has a great track record. He simply suffers from living in the shadow of a modern day colossus like King. Absent the comparison, I feel Koontz would be much more favorably viewed.

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DokPsy 1 point 3 years ago

I see your point but I counter with Neil Gaiman.

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RavenFellBlade 1 point 3 years ago

Love him, too. Currently watching Good Omens and loving every moment.

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deliberalization 28 points 3 years ago

I read exactly one Dean Koontz book and it was about an evil literary critic who tortures the author with a taser in the first few chapters. He is later revealed to be an actual ghost

Kudos to Dean for monetizing a night terror, but he should have been given AI video creation and tiktok voiceovers to express that. I can't remember another time I got Library Lender's Remorse.

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doctordevice 8 points 3 years ago

One Dean Koontz book isn't a great sample size. He writes a LOT and most of it isn't very good, but every once in a while he gets it just right and puts out a really good one.

Though tbf, I haven't re-read his stuff in probably 10 years so I don't know if it holds up to modern scrutiny. Odd Thomas was always my favorite of his.

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pearsaltchocolatebar 2 points 3 years ago

The Frankenstein series was good as well.

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Restaldt 6 points 3 years ago

I think ive also ready exactly one koontz book

I think it involved a child genius inventing time travel with something that looked like salt and pepper shakers because his family was being targeted by an assassin for some reason

Also might have been a fever dream not sure

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dona1dquixote 3 points 3 years ago

It's called From the Corner of His Eye. He's not time traveling, he just figured out how to hop between different alternate realities. It happens to be one of my favourite books.

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Restaldt 3 points 3 years ago

Ive been trying to figure this out all day and thats not it

Im pretty sure ive conflated parts of Mr murder and a completely different author/book called the mark of the assassin and honestly maybe parts of a 3rd book i havent remembered yet

I read those ~15 years ago

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dona1dquixote 3 points 3 years ago

Well then that's a weird coincidence because From the Corner of His Eye is about a child genius who can move between different realities and is being targeted by a serial killer.

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brbposting 5 points 3 years ago

Relentless:

What began as an innocent and unexpected encounter is about to trigger an inferno of violence. For Shearman Waxx is not merely a ferocious literary enemy, but a ruthless sociopath, and now he is intent on destroying Cubby and everything he holds dear: his home, his wife, his young son, and every hope he had in the world.

The terror has only just begun, and it will be relentless…

DOT DOT DOT

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deliberalization 1 point 3 years ago

😱😱😱😱😱

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Venicon 25 points 3 years ago

Maybe it’s trendy to hate on Koontz but I enjoyed his books when I was a bit younger. The Face, Watchers, TickTock and a couple others but I also liked Clive Cussler at the time so there is that. I think I found it easy to pick up and read as opposed to an investment like King.

A quick google says that Koontz has sold 450 million books and is worth over 200 million. I’m sure he is okay with not being some people’s favourite.

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nomous 6 points 3 years ago

I enjoyed the hell of his books at one point, read a bunch of them over the course of a year or two. In hindsight he's very formulaic and everything is pretty predictable, but they're a fun read for what they are.

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Venicon 6 points 3 years ago

Yeah, a perfect airport or holiday book that entertains you like a brainless action movie!

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Crackhappy 6 points 3 years ago

Lol Koontz and cussler were read on many a summer vacation when I was sprouting too.

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Trainguyrom 3 points 3 years ago

When I was a teenager my grandmother got me into his Saucer series which I quite enjoyed

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Anticorp 22 points 3 years ago

Brandon Sanderson and Tim Patrick Rothfuss started signing each other's books for awhile too. I read that Sanderson signs his and Rothfuss books at the airport bookstore when he's traveling. I managed to find a few signed Sanderson books at the airport bookstore in SLC when I flew through there for a connecting flight once. I still have them on my bookshelf. No cross-signings though.

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Mischala 6 points 3 years ago

Do you mean Patrick Rothfuss?

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Anticorp 3 points 3 years ago

Lol, yes I do. Thank you.

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Mischala 10 points 3 years ago

It's easy to forget his name, seeing as the 3rd book is never going to be released.

Meanwhile Sanderson almost accidentally emmits books

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Anticorp 6 points 3 years ago

Yes, I had to think about it for a minute before I even came up with "Tim Rothfuss". He used to be a household name, and then he just stopped writing. Idk what his deal is, but he did say once that he's envious of Sanderson's writing speed. I guess it takes him a long time to write a book, and it seems like he either got burned out, or ran out of ideas. I felt like he took some ideas from Jordan in the 2nd Kingkiller book. I met him once, walking around on the floor at Emerald City Comic Con. He seems like a cool guy. He spent like an hour talking to my sister at his booth after I ran into him. It's a shame that I think you're right. It doesn't look like he'll ever finish that trilogy.

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SkabySkalywag 20 points 3 years ago

I would be happy to have King sign my Moonlight bay books (C'mon Koonts get the third one out!). But only if he signs it " ...needs more underage orgies -signed Stephen King."

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UnpopularCrow 13 points 3 years ago

I’ve read a couple of Dean’s books and I don’t regret it, but also didn’t find them that good.

Outside a couple of disappointments, everything I’ve read from King has ranged from really good (Salems lot, tommyknockers, etc) to outstanding (the dark tower series, the tailsman).

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getoffthedrugsdude 7 points 3 years ago

Same. The only series of Dean's I think I liked was Odd Thomas and I read them years ago.

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jballs 5 points 3 years ago

One of my neighbors named their daughter "Stormy" after Odd Thomas's >!dead!< girlfriend. When I asked him if he and his wife were big fans of the books, he said that they'd never read the books before. But they'd seen the movie.

He told me this several years ago and it still annoys me to this day.

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EffortlessEffluvium 2 points 3 years ago

I really liked Life Expectancy

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WarmSoda 2 points 3 years ago

Odd Thomas annoys be to no end. He's a Mary Sue in the worst way. He succeeds at literally everything he does. It's extremely lazy. Oh and he's "quarky".

I've read a lot of Koontz books. If you just think of them like TV movies they're fine.

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KingThrillgore 8 points 3 years ago path: 0 6558980, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 2
PipedLinkBot 5 points 3 years ago path: 0 6558980 6558995, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
kameecoding 2 points 3 years ago

i found a lot of funny in the last 2 seasons of Family Guy , though I only have it on in the background while I work

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Macaroni_ninja 7 points 3 years ago

Is there any rivalry going on?

I read books from both and other than Kings super fame there is not much difference. I don't prefer either.

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getoffthedrugsdude 12 points 3 years ago

Back in my day, we jokingly called Dean Stephen King Lite

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dunz 3 points 3 years ago

Store brand Stephen King

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Death_Equity 5 points 3 years ago

Stephen King at home.

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Entropy 3 points 3 years ago

I would like to nominate this comment for hot take of the year.

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Macaroni_ninja 2 points 3 years ago

The bar is low

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Hikermick 5 points 3 years ago

Somebody gave me Strangers and I loved it! Never before had I read anything like it, completely clueless over halfway into the book about what's going on. Bizarre clues throughout, good characters. Then when you find out what's going on it's so far fetched but somehow believable. The next Koontz book I read was Watchers and it was the exact same formula. Bizarre clues, kept in the dark, far fetched premise. I think I read another (long time ago) and it was similar. Don't get me wrong it's a good formula but if all of his books are like that then I can see why people poke fun

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Magnetar 3 points 3 years ago

That's for the very simple reason I don't know who Dean Koontz is.

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