It'd be hilarious if you taught her how to code Fortran.

Flicking your cheek just right to make the water drop noise

On a vacation when I was a teenager I taught my younger sibling the "SYN/ACK" game.

They still remember the TCP stack handshake protocol including resets and acks years later.

My niece and nephew loved the “this guy” gag. What’s got two thumbs and thinks you’re the coolest? THIS GUY! and point to yourself with your thumbs.

Teach her to order something off a foreign-language menu, invite the family out to dinner, and see if she can place her order fluently.

Doing the "Five year old white girl shocks waitress by ordering Orange Chicken in perfect Mandarian" bit IRL would be pretty funny and adorable.

I've thought my niece that policemen go "oink oink" and that pigs go "You have the right to remain silent!"

• Beatboxing. "Boots and cats and boots and cats"-style.
• The pulling your thumb off trick.
• The Macarena.
• "The Game". ("You just lost The Game.")
• Chopsticks on the piano/keyboard/toy xylophone/etc.
• "The Name Game."

A buddy of mine taught his 5 yr old daughter to tell people "One time, at band camp...I stuck a flute in my..." *long pause* "nose".

And he gets joy remembering all of the people go wide-eyed waiting for that next word out of her mouth.

Lockpicking

Using Linux

Media piracy

Feeding the homeless

Wheatpasting / graffiti

Political theory

Shoplifting from corporate chains

First Aid

Legal observation

Black bloc tactics

Guerilla gardening

Spotting plainclothes cops / informants

Dialectical Materialism

The Song That Doesn't End

Teach her how she can insert "apparently" into every statement.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"CHICKEN BUTT!"

I taught my niece to say "I can't work like this!". That was fun!

Arm pit farts

If she's the right age, Teach her The Game. It's a brain virus game.

Rule number 1 of The Game, you can not think about The Game. When you think about The Game you lose.

Rule number 2, when you think of The Game you have to say that you've lost The Game. Ideally loudly and publicly.

Rule number 3, after losing the game you get 30 minutes grace period to stop thinking about it before The Game starts again.

Rule number 4, once you have learned about the game you may either play the game or cheat.

How to tie her shoes the instant/quick way. She'll be the coolest kid to all her peers and even amaze other parents who witness it...

https://youtu.be/Q5qZpQe_4EA?si=6fPhLyHs5BwJoaoA

(I have no affiliation with that channel it was just the first thing that came up when I searched)

I taught my kid to say "mom drinks beer for breakfast" as soon as she could talk. Wasn't that popular with the family xD

End every other sentence with ~ nya ~

The drums.

Or a less chaotic-evil suggestion, that water-drop sound made by flicking your cheek.

I have had pretty good luck with doing

High five Up high Down low Too slow

My nephew would just let me do it forever, always trying to beat me on the too slow bit.

Give her some unconventional future career ideas. Non-edgy ones, of course. I think it would be pretty funny if after a visit from an uncle your kid was talking about sailing knots or embalming procedures or something.

Assembly

I taught my 18 month year old niece the sound a dinosaur makes. ROOOOOOOAAAR

Teach her to take a drink and then smack her lips and say, “ahhh”.

Pull my finger.

We got my niece to speak a little Klingon.

Poker. And proper bluffing.

i decided to let her watch Smackdown with me. we'll see what she picks up as a surprise for mom & dad

That it's pronounced heliclopter and not helicopter.

Tell her a fun fact, in your best science teacher tone. It takes one billion microseconds to get to one second. Hopefully she can run with this and ask more questions.

Juggling ? beginning with two balls is fairly easy and is a slippery gateway to more balls

Dad jokes or anti jokes maybe? Math formulas? A foreign language?

Gang signs.

Do something that will confuse her parents a ton. Like tell her that every time she wants something, she has to touch her nose three times then say the thing. Demonstrate it a lot to drill it in.

taps nose three times... COOKIES

Play chess.

Using capitals

What I like to do with kids that age is cartwheels. One hand, two hands, one foot, two feet.

Good time to introduce them to interesting foods too.

Spitting watermelon seeds really far is also fun.

The macarena.

Do the burp trick by swallowing air, and then giggle uncontrollably.

Greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Dirty little birdy feet
Floatin in snake eyeballs

Too

Bad

I

Forgot

My

Spoon

But I got my straaaaaawwwwww. sluuuuurp

How to disco.

If you know how, teach her how to whistle real high using the fingers on top of the tongue. One way is by making an O with the thumb and the index finger, bending/rolling your tongue backwards a bit and pressing your fingers against it.

That white cows make milk for white coffee and black cows make milk for black coffee.

gentoo

Teach her to say "I was born on a pirate ship"

Once she's able to say it properly, tell her to open her mouth with a finger at each corner and say the phrase again. Get her to shout it out

Then tell her to show her new trick to mom and dad.

https://youtu.be/F5bW8H-kNZs?si=g6cdvXnLXHRLzBXJ

Okay don't actually do this

Impressions. Cartoon characters are best

https://www.youtube.com/...

Teach her about Poseidon's Kiss.

Say “on skib a dee” to any young kid. They love it.

Taught her to walk with her hands put behind like an old man https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BOTUuz_t7A

Make a fist stick up your pinky, put your mouth next to your thumb puff out your cheeks, and repeat the word "girl".

skibidi toilet