I love democracy

3 years ago by Bigfudge to c/memes

HurlingDurling 99 points 3 years ago

That would be the dopest snow white ever

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Topaz 45 points 3 years ago

For real. I’d actually go back to theaters for it

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DrZoidberg 57 points 3 years ago

I'd pay 3 times the amount of a regular ticket to watch the scene where Terry Crews, in a gorgeous ball gown, is dancing with Prince Charming, and when realizing it's almost midnight, flexes his pecs, and yells goodbye before disappearing into the night.

Prince Charming then goes around trying to find the perfect pec flex. Alternatively, bicep circumference would also be acceptable as a glass slipper alternative.

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OberonSwanson 33 points 3 years ago

Wrong movie plot, but I would seriously watch the fuck out of this.

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thefartographer 8 points 3 years ago

I'm not sure that threatening to fight Andy Samberg is the best way to sign him into a movie. Then again, I don't know the guy...

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zout 17 points 3 years ago

You're thinking Cinderella, not Snow White.

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theodewere 19 points 3 years ago

shhh, he's on a roll man

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iforgotmyinstance 6 points 3 years ago

Let him cook!

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DrZoidberg 3 points 3 years ago

Wait which ones Snow White?

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DragonTypeWyvern 12 points 3 years ago

How about this: Prince Charming tries to kiss the sleeping Snow White, but she wakes up and beats the hell out of him then lectures him on consent.

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erogenouswarzone 5 points 3 years ago

I'd watch that. But there should be a really good musical number called "Everything is rape without consent" or something... It probably wouldn't be appropriate for the target audience, but yes I agree with the point you're making: Snow White & Cinderella are way fucked.

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WarmSoda 11 points 3 years ago

White Chicks II: Bro White

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SpeakinTelnet 6 points 3 years ago

Cinderella would be the prince going around with barbells trying to find the princess (Terry) who can lift them. Only he can carry the prince down the aisle.

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Saneless 6 points 3 years ago

I haven't seen a single Live Action demake but this would be my first for sure

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erogenouswarzone 6 points 3 years ago

demake

Someone give this guy some gold... wait where are we... I applaud your genius.

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name_NULL111653 2 points 3 years ago

🏅

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Klinker 87 points 3 years ago

One answer only this this thread!

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Balthazar 4 points 3 years ago

chef's kiss

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terminhell 39 points 3 years ago

OP memes, but this unironically would slap.

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slashasdf 27 points 3 years ago

"mirror, mirror, on the wall, who has the juiciest pecs of them all?"

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nouseforaname 33 points 3 years ago
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Hellsadvocate 21 points 3 years ago

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: A Terry Crews Rendition

Scene 1: Snow White's Introduction

Snow White (Terry Crews) is introduced as a charismatic and strong character, loved by all animals in the forest. He's strong but gentle, charming, and not afraid to show his emotional side. He sings to the animals with a deep, booming voice, a hilarious contrast to the original character's high-pitched singing.

Snow White: (singing in deep voice) "I'm wishing, (I'm wishing) for the one I love, to find me, (to find me) today..."

Scene 2: Meeting the Huntsman

The Queen orders the Huntsman to bring back Snow White's heart. However, the Huntsman cannot bring himself to harm Snow White, who's flexing his muscles and humming a cheerful tune.

Huntsman: "I... I can't do it. Forgive me, Snow White."

Snow White: (flexing) "No worries, man. Everyone has a hard time dealing with these guns."

Scene 3: Discovering the Cottage

Upon discovering the dwarfs' cottage, Snow White starts cleaning. However, instead of the delicate tidying of the original, Terry Crews' Snow White lifts heavy furniture single-handedly and dusts with a peacock feather duster, all while maintaining a contagious cheerfulness.

Snow White: "Well, this place needs a little muscle love. Let's get to it!"

Scene 4: Meeting the Dwarfs

Snow White wins over the dwarfs with his charm and kindness. His interactions with the dwarfs are playful and endearing, unlike the traditional motherly role of the original Snow White.

Snow White: "You guys could use some protein in your diet. What do you say, tomorrow we start the day with a proper workout and a protein shake?"

Scene 5: The Poison Apple

When the Queen, disguised as an old woman, offers Snow White the poisoned apple, Snow White is hesitant but doesn't want to be rude. He takes a bite and collapses in a dramatic, comedic fashion.

Snow White: "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, right? But just to be sure... (flexes arm)...proteins are better."

Scene 6: The Prince's Kiss

When the Prince arrives to awaken Snow White, he's taken aback by Snow White's size. However, he's determined to break the spell. The moment is played for laughs, with the Prince struggling to lean over Snow White.

Prince: "I... I've come to break the spell..."

Snow White (waking up): "Did I hit the snooze button again?"

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Balthazar 2 points 3 years ago

I fucking love you, and you are the reason why I love the internet and trust humanity somewhat. This is absolute internet GOLD!

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Diabolo96 19 points 3 years ago

Man. I don't watch much movies but I'd watch this 10 times in row. If it's a comedy or better...a serious comedy. The acting is serious but everything else isn't.

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platysalty 8 points 3 years ago

I would legit line up at the cinema for this. And I don't like going to the cinema.

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ICastFist 16 points 3 years ago

I wonder how the evil queen would dupe Terry Fucking Crews into eating a poisoned apple. I can only imagine her failing a number of times thanks to his dancing pecs

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Krackalot 5 points 3 years ago

What if it was a poisoned stick of old spice?

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Kaidao 16 points 3 years ago

Zach Galifianakis as Prince Charming and I’m in

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erogenouswarzone 8 points 3 years ago

Here's some others I'd be totally stoked about:

  • Eric Andre (he really needs a breakout role)
  • Leslie Jones
  • Eddie Murphy
  • RuPaul
  • Charming Taintman

Edit: Fucking Terry Crews for both roles!

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pastel_de_airfryer 13 points 3 years ago

Classic movie remade starring Terry Crews should be an entire genre.

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Lazerbeams2 12 points 3 years ago

For the one that looks most right, Gal Gadot is probably the best from this list. For the movie I'm most likely to watch? The Terry Crews version would be worth it even if it sucks

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luthis 12 points 3 years ago

I'm only watching if it's 100% serious. Terry acts as he acts and the entire rest of the movie is as written in the script. Full commit, no comedic rewriting. It's just Terry playing Snow White.

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FederatedSaint 11 points 3 years ago

If we can change the complexion of the character, we can change the gender, too! Go Terry!

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pirate526 8 points 3 years ago

Who the fuck is Ana de Arm? /s

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bobzilla 19 points 3 years ago

Ana de Leg's cousin

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Spuddaccino 8 points 3 years ago

Ana my axe!

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instamat 2 points 3 years ago

Ana my bow!

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subtext 2 points 3 years ago

Truly a tragic accident what happened on the Bond set.

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Roundcat 8 points 3 years ago

I mean if they're going to remake a movie, they should go out of their way to make it as different as possible. I for one would love to see the direction of a film with this casting goes.

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Neato 4 points 3 years ago

I'd like to see a comedy where the Snow White story is playing out but the dwarves and woodland beings all choose Terry Crews. He's like, "Nah guys. I'm a carpenter. I think you've got the wrong person.". But they aren't hearing it and strongarm Terry into the role. The evil queen is the only other person to get it and they have to team to to fix the story.

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erogenouswarzone 6 points 3 years ago

I'd really like to see something where there is no explanation at all. Terry Crews is just Snow White.

Maybe Seth Rogan and a bunch of stoners are the dwarves.

No explanation at all, just as if it were a woman playing the roll.

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Neato 2 points 3 years ago

Seth Rogan as Happy is inspired casting. Nice.

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Num10ck 3 points 3 years ago path: 0 2180267 2182078, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
SpeakinTelnet 1 point 3 years ago

fr we already had snow white.... Multiple times ... We need what Hot Shots was to Top Gun but with Disney movies instead.

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Potato_in_my_anus 8 points 3 years ago

I agree 100%.

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erogenouswarzone 4 points 3 years ago

Hats off to you, Potato_in_my_anus, for my biggest username laugh on Lemmy so far.

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LostDeer 6 points 3 years ago

And just like regular democracy, the owners will show up last second to put their finger on the scale 😞

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icepuncher69 5 points 3 years ago

5% of people take the internet way to seriously

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doom_and_gloom 3 points 3 years ago
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theodewere 1 point 3 years ago

you need a Snickers

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icepuncher69 0 points 3 years ago

What?

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MossyFeathers 5 points 3 years ago

I wanna see John Reilly playing Steve Brule playing the Beast.

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dessalines 3 points 3 years ago

For your health!

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johnnybravo 5 points 3 years ago

Alexandra Daddario as 'Snow White' and Cate Blanchett as 'Evil Queen'.

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ArcaneSlime 4 points 3 years ago

I'm only watching if he wins.

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z3n0x 4 points 3 years ago

SnowyMcSnowface

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zoe 3 points 3 years ago

a netflix original.

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BigPapaE 2 points 3 years ago

This makes sense to me if Michael Cera can play Shaft

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TheRedSpade 1 point 3 years ago

Someone's a Donald Glover fan.

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BigPapaE 2 points 3 years ago

We're officially known as dong lovers

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Serpardum 2 points 3 years ago

You mean Snowey McSbowface?

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chemicalwonka 1 point 3 years ago

Undoubtedly!

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sagrotan 1 point 3 years ago

We need President Camacho as real president. Of the world.

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Zeroxxx -6 points 3 years ago

So woke, me likes!!!

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