Why is it that so much of the internet wants to stick a tongue in an asshole? You realize that only porn stars do anything more than wipe and shower. You're literally eating shit. Which is a great way to get wierd diseases or start involuntary vomit attacks in a supposedly sexy moment.

You know what's better than ass? You know what tastes better and is self cleaning and an actual pleasure center? Pussy.

You deserve a finer dining experience. Eat pussy instead.

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snarf 31 points 3 years ago

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eochaid 6 points 3 years ago

I'm not gatekeeping. You want to eat ass and your partner is okay with it and doing the prep to make it safe? Go for it.

But I guarantee you that most of the people on the internet claiming to want to eat ass have ever or will ever place their tongue on an asshole.

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vzq 9 points 3 years ago

safe

Dude, the E. Coli roulette is half the excitement!

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eochaid 7 points 3 years ago

Lol first honest answer of the bunch.

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FarmTaco 5 points 3 years ago

I would like to see the veracity of this "guarantee"

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howsetheraven 2 points 3 years ago

Yeah, everyone on the internet is a Virginia, surely.

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snarf 1 point 3 years ago

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elscallr -3 points 3 years ago

You understand that a vagina is literally like an inch from an asshole, right?

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b00m 14 points 3 years ago

If you engage in anal play/ sex, there is some prep work involved. Not only pornstars clean and flush before having fun

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pornhubfan 12 points 3 years ago

You need to try better ass.

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linucs 1 point 3 years ago

Amen

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eochaid -6 points 3 years ago

You need to try better pussy.

I mean, shit is shit, man. I don't get the appeal when something way better is just down the road.

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FarmTaco 10 points 3 years ago

Bro pussy can be dirty as fuck too, if you keep the neighborhood clean it's clean, it's not like you are forever unclean if a poo particle touches it

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eochaid 3 points 3 years ago

But what if poo piles are literally coming out if it multiple times a day and being sprayed from it with every fart and anal pucker.

Sure, a pussy can be dirty. But if a pussy is dirty, guaranteed the ass is toxic. If a woman is going to clean either, it's going to be the pussy. A woman with a clean pussy still needs to do some prep before you go chowing on her ass.

Plus, the pussy has a self-cleaning mechanism. So even a woman with average hygiene (takes a shower occasionally) will have a pussy that's generally safe for consumption, notwithstanding any STDs.

The ass' only job is to jettison waste from your body. It's literally just a shute for poop. It doesn't clean itself because it doesn't need to. It's gross because that's its job. A lady will need to be asked to do extra work to clean that shit up for you. Which is fine in the bounds of a relationship with trust and communication...

But it seems a little unreasonable to expect that of a random encounter with Daphne or Velma.

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eestileib 11 points 3 years ago

You realize that only porn stars do anything more than wipe and shower.

TIL I'm a porn star. I guess that's a promotion from slut?

I do agree with you about the disease thing; I use a dental dam when the mood strikes me.

I think it's an age thing, my friends in their 20s are evangelists for ass eating, my fwb keeps asking me to let him do it, it's kind of out of nowhere for me.

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eochaid 4 points 3 years ago

I get that people that are really into anal play do a lot of prep to make the ass safer and more appealing. I get that safe ass eating is a thing and takes some prep.

But that also means it's a highly specific sexual act that takes a lot of prep, conversations, and assurances of consent. Ass eating isn't something you do unless you're in a committed relationship with a fair amount of trust.

The authors of ass eating memes aren't taking in this context. Instead, the meme is more like "man, I'd like to eat that random person's ass out of nowhere without any prompting". And what I'm saying is that 9 times out of 10, that person's ass is fucking nasty at that moment.

Now if they wanted to do it right, it would be more like, " man I'd love to date that woman for a while, fool around a bit, bring up the idea of ass eating, buy some dental dams, wait for her to douche and clean her asshole thoroughly, and then go to town on that specific hole". But that's not what they're doing.

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ashenblood 3 points 3 years ago

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FlexibleToast 8 points 3 years ago

Speak for yourself. Some of us have bidets. Also, everyone knows the universal flag for if it's okay to eat ass is the wet wipes in the bathroom.

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eochaid 8 points 3 years ago

I have a bidet. But I also know the shit it cleans off and how disgusting my toilet is after even a few days of shit going through it and being wahsed away with water.

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SubArcticTundra 4 points 3 years ago

Is it free range?

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eochaid 1 point 3 years ago

Fresh from a sweaty ghost hunt with a few leaks and sharts from getting scared.

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feedum_sneedson 0 points 3 years ago

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elscallr 8 points 3 years ago

Tree Stars. Spike made them bitches look delicious.

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orphiebaby 4 points 3 years ago

One of my very best friends also said that. He wanted to eat a tree star because the movie made them look amazing.

♪ Young man! There are leaves all around

I say: young man! Eat a leaf off the ground

I say: young man! Won't it make a cool sound

When you

Stuff

Your

Leaf hole ♪

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elscallr 3 points 3 years ago

When I was a kid I ate a lot of leaves trying to find a tree star leaf.

Tree leaves taste terrible pretty much in general.

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robbankz 6 points 3 years ago

Mines is Solid Snake's rations after sneaking under a cardboard box to snap a soldiers neck on Metal Gear Solid ps1

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Fireplant 8 points 3 years ago

the metal gear rations gotta be really good to save you from fucking gunshots and missile impacts

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AFLYINTOASTER 5 points 3 years ago

110% it would be anything the cat chefs cook up in Monster Hunter World. Those animations always got me hungry.

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my_blackest_day 5 points 3 years ago

The rat’s food

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jfinsmith 5 points 3 years ago

How has no one said the feast from Hook!?!? Bangarang. Peter!

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orphiebaby 3 points 3 years ago

Because you were the first, fam.

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xX_fnord_Xx 4 points 3 years ago

I always wanted the food stick that Yoda took from Luke.

Something about a self contained meal always appealed to me.

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samus12345 1 point 3 years ago

Apparently it was a sesame stick.

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broguy89 3 points 3 years ago

I'm sure ambrosia has been in some animated movie.

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FiskFisk33 1 point 3 years ago

always with the immortality, I'm in you motherfucker

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Oxnvat 3 points 3 years ago

The Death Sandwich from Regular Show

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EmperorGormet 4 points 3 years ago

Cant forget about Velma’s ass though

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otacon239 2 points 3 years ago

I’d also try the Broodwitch from ATHF.

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mitch8128 3 points 3 years ago

Anything from house moving castle

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xX_fnord_Xx 5 points 3 years ago

*Howls Moving Castle

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SharkNate_O 1 point 3 years ago

Max and P.J.'s pizza at the hotel in A Goofy Movie.

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PlantDadManGuy 1 point 3 years ago

Definitely the feast from beauty and the beast, where she sits down and all the plates start dancing, but then of course they never actually eat the food.

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lemmyshitpost

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lemmyshitpost

@lemmy.world

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!

Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...

2. No Illegal Content

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-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

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