A Discord romance story

a year ago by The Picard Maneuver to c/funny

pyre 129 points a year ago

i know I'll get downvoted to oblivion for saying this but I don't care; I think this is disgusting. i don't like shaming people for who they are or what they do, or bullying of any kind, BUT i also think it's absolutely apprehensible behavior to engage in a romantic relationship with someone who uses discord.

path: 0 16946196, hotness: undefined, score: 129, children: 2
myrrh 2 points a year ago
path: 0 16946196 16961184, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1
pyre 10 points a year ago

and here i thought the joke was too obvious

path: 0 16946196 16961184 16962570, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
BallShapedMan 122 points a year ago

"I'm serious. She could actually be a 300 pound dude who lives in his momma's basement in suburban Detroit. And her name is Chuck." - Ready Player One

path: 0 16929810, hotness: undefined, score: 122, children: 3
Kolanaki 21 points a year ago

No, no, no! Come on! Cooper was right... This guy wants to have sex with me!

"Listen, Mieke... I don't want to arrange any meetings with you, you sick, German freak. So please keep your hands off my genitals, and never write to me again, and don't come to America. Goodbye."

  • EuroTrip
path: 0 16929810 16941257, hotness: undefined, score: 21, children: 2
white_nrdy 4 points a year ago

Amazing movie

Mi scusi

path: 0 16929810 16941257 16952522, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
buddascrayon 3 points a year ago

Real talk here, Eurotrip was a leagues better internet relationship story than Ready Player One could ever hope to be.

path: 0 16929810 16941257 16958238, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
eksb 80 points a year ago

Is the problem that she uses Gnome, or that she uses dark mode?

path: 0 16929327, hotness: undefined, score: 80, children: 9
iAmTheTot 59 points a year ago

Doesn't that look more like Windows 11?

path: 0 16929327 16929466, hotness: undefined, score: 59, children: 2
jia_tan 40 points a year ago

Windows 11 did rip off gnome 🤔

path: 0 16929327 16929466 16929497, hotness: undefined, score: 40, children: 1
Artyom 3 points a year ago

Ummm...Windows 11 was way more of a KDE ripoff than a gnome ripoff.

path: 0 16929327 16929466 16929497 16958897, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
pineapplelover 34 points a year ago

No programming socks

path: 0 16929327 16937207, hotness: undefined, score: 34, children: 1
pyre 5 points a year ago

a cis person in the year of our lord 2025? disgusting.

path: 0 16929327 16937207 16946130, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
InFerNo 15 points a year ago

Doesn't look like gnome in any way. That task bar looks like windows 11. Gnome doesn't have a task bar. The "bar" of icons on the left are discord servers.

path: 0 16929327 16936769, hotness: undefined, score: 15, children: 0
fluxion 13 points a year ago

Those are the 2 best things in this image

path: 0 16929327 16929715, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 0
vala 1 point a year ago

That's not gnome

path: 0 16929327 16952081, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
buddascrayon 1 point a year ago

...it's a Windows workstation!

path: 0 16929327 16952081 16958266, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
AtariDump 35 points a year ago

path: 0 16936950, hotness: undefined, score: 35, children: 0
huppakee 28 points a year ago

Maybe she's just cheating and accidently sent you a private pic from the person she's cheating with, don't give up hope /s

path: 0 16929184, hotness: undefined, score: 28, children: 1
nieceandtows 12 points a year ago

You vs the guy she tells you not to worry about

path: 0 16929184 16930177, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 0
ryedaft 25 points a year ago

I don't get it

Isn't it pretty normal not to shave your legs?

path: 0 16929803, hotness: undefined, score: 25, children: 2
sharkfucker420 33 points a year ago

I think the implication is that the discord girlfriend was an overweight man pretending to be a woman in order to catfish

path: 0 16929803 16941207, hotness: undefined, score: 33, children: 1
ryedaft 3 points a year ago

He has very dainty feet then. Twinkle toes even. But it's probably a dude yeah.

path: 0 16929803 16941207 16946220, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
VicksVaporBBQrub 23 points a year ago

Can't rule out that's a close-up of a capybara. Gf is 3 capybaras stacked in a trenchcoat? Rule 1 of the Internet--pics or she never happened.

path: 0 16930166, hotness: undefined, score: 23, children: 2
reallykindasorta 8 points a year ago

Which number is “there are no girls on the internet?”

path: 0 16930166 16931371, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 1
VicksVaporBBQrub 5 points a year ago

I heard this one as, "everyone is a cat".

Quick search says Internet Rule 29 0r 30, "the men are nen, the women are men, or cats, or undercover cops".

Also, "...almost none of the numbers are standardized".

path: 0 16930166 16931371 16943438, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
2ugly2live 17 points a year ago

Hahaha, she's fat. The horror. The betrayal. He thought he had a girl who loved him, but little did he know she was fat. And nothing is more horrific than that. Thank God he found out, he might have started caring about her, like an idiot.

path: 0 16946532, hotness: undefined, score: 17, children: 13
Trashbones 39 points a year ago

I assumed the joke was his "girlfriend" was a man who's been lying to him, at least that was my initial thought from the exceptionally hairy legs.

path: 0 16946532 16953010, hotness: undefined, score: 39, children: 3
PolarKraken 16 points a year ago

Seems like the obvious joke to me too...

path: 0 16946532 16953010 16956663, hotness: undefined, score: 16, children: 0
jerkface 1 point a year ago

Lots of people have hairy legs??

path: 0 16946532 16953010 16976215, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
RowRowRowYourBot 1 point a year ago
path: 0 16946532 16953010 16976215 17010842, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Comment105 12 points a year ago

It's okay to be disappointed if you exchange pics with an online flirt and it turns out they're fat.

path: 0 16946532 16959707, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 1
2ugly2live 6 points a year ago

It is. It's not okay to post them on the internet so people can mock them because you them unattractive. If she was missing a leg, or had scars from self harm, or burn marks, he probably wouldn't have posted her on the internet so people could join in on his disappointment.

path: 0 16946532 16959707 16961816, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
WorldsDumbestMan 10 points a year ago

It's a he

path: 0 16946532 16962711, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
GaMEChld 5 points a year ago

Why is everyone assuming this is about weight? What's the reverse image search part mean? I feel like there's something else to this.

path: 0 16946532 16956360, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 5
2ugly2live 16 points a year ago

When he attempted to reverse search the image, he didn't find any matches which lead him to believe this is a real photo from the person he's chatting with and not a joke or something like that. There are two assumptions (based on this thread anyway, order has no bearings on which one is more "true" or not).

  1. (My assumption) He is disappointed because the girl is fat/hairy and therefore unattractive and unworthy of his affection.

  2. He is disappointed because the hairy leg makes him think his "girlfriend" is his "boyfriend," otherwise known as a catfish, and he is feeling tricked/embarrassed/hurt/etc.

My knee jerk assumption was weight. When I encounter posts with fat people, I'm used to people responding in revulsion so I took that train of thought.

path: 0 16946532 16956360 16957805, hotness: undefined, score: 16, children: 4
blarghly 6 points a year ago

I think (2) is the far more likely scenario.

path: 0 16946532 16956360 16957805 16964894, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
WorldsDumbestMan 1 point a year ago

This place has become worse than Reddit.

path: 0 16946532 16956360 16957805 16962727, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 2
RowRowRowYourBot 2 points a year ago
path: 0 16946532 16956360 16957805 16962727 17010867, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1
nimble 15 points a year ago
path: 0 16938249, hotness: undefined, score: 15, children: 36
daggermoon 63 points a year ago

I think the implication is OP got catfished

path: 0 16938249 16941065, hotness: undefined, score: 63, children: 0
simop_jo 25 points a year ago
path: 0 16938249 16941960, hotness: undefined, score: 25, children: 26
unbanshee 33 points a year ago

I mean, that's nice for you, but the difference is that that teasing was coming from the friends, and not internet randos who neither know nor care about you.

Next to nobody who sees that screenshot knows the person in the photo, or whether they're even able to lose weight by "putting in the work".

Also, there's a preponderance of evidence that your case is an outlier, and "teasing" does not improve the lives of its targets.

You never know what somebody is going through, and it costs nothing to be kind.

path: 0 16938249 16941960 16942292, hotness: undefined, score: 33, children: 18
simop_jo 34 points a year ago
path: 0 16938249 16941960 16942292 16942319, hotness: undefined, score: 34, children: 0
Tabula_stercore -2 points a year ago

Putting in the work is mostly eating normal portions, and not only grease USA™.

That person is fat, it's not normal and it has nothing to do with being kind.

path: 0 16938249 16941960 16942292 16943106, hotness: undefined, score: -2, children: 16
unbanshee 17 points a year ago

I'm not gonna engage with you beyond this since you're obviously uninterested in opinions other than your own, otherwise you might have looked at any of the studies I linked investigating weight-related stigma, which is related to others' kindness or lack thereof.

You're not fighting societal acceptance of obesity, you're just lazily perpetuating harmful social stigmas to justify your own discomfort with fat people.

You say it's not "normal" to be fat, but if a condition is considered epidemic, it's not really abnormal anymore, is it.

You don't know what that person eats. You don't know if that person has a medical disorder. You don't know if that person is disabled and unable to prepare healthy food for themselves. You don't know if that person has an eating disorder that they can't afford treatment for. You don't know if that person is on medications that affect their weight. You don't know if that's even a real person or an AI-generated image.

But you're real quick to diagnose the cause of their obesity as exclusively their personal failure for not eating the correct amount of the correct food.

It takes minutes to see what researchers are saying about this stuff.

Historically, the central dogma of the science of obesity has been that it is simply an energy balance disorder: calories in, calories out. If this energy-based model (EBM) of obesity, was true, then essentially exercising more and eating less should work for everyone. However, this is not the case. Many researchers believe that the pathophysiology of obesity is more complex.

While both social–environmental factors and genetic preposition have been recognized to play important roles in obesity epidemic, Gao et al. (2021) present evidence showing that epigenetic changes may be a key factor to explain interindividual differences in obesity.

Honestly there have been a few times recently where I've seen fat people doing or saying interesting things online, and half the fucking comments are vitriol about their weight and how it reflects on their character, as though that overshadows and invalidates anything they're doing. And sometimes I see other commenters challenging these views, and sometimes the hate commenters will backpedal of they realize that the person they're discussing has what the consider to be a valid medical excuse.

I'm autistic and ADHD, and to me, that kind of behaviour is a reflection of what goes on in places like fakedisordercringe, where they claim to respect people with official diagnoses but never bother to actually see which of their targets has an official diagnosis, or consider that the absence of a formal diagnosis doesn't mean the absence of the condition. And that's because it's not actually about the underlying reasons for the behavior they're mocking, because they don't care about those reasons. They'd rather not know if there's a diagnosis that would exclude their target from mockery because how their target is acting makes them uncomfortable.

It's a way of enforcing conformity through cruelty, just like bullying fat people.

And I've read stuff like this piece, with the line "I wish I didn’t have to justify myself, or base my worth on proving that I’m trying.", and I see myself in that. I've burned myself out multiple times and seriously damaged my physical and mental health as a result of trying to act like I'm neurotypical.

I'm fucking tired of seeing anybody get judged as moral deficients online by people who know nothing about them or their histories.

path: 0 16938249 16941960 16942292 16943106 16944244, hotness: undefined, score: 17, children: 14
Prandom_returns 3 points a year ago

"Fat", I think, is a colloquial term.
This seems like "morbidly obese". And you are absolutely correct using a term (not) "normal" here.

path: 0 16938249 16941960 16942292 16943106 16965293, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
pyre 3 points a year ago

my father beat me and I turned out fine-

-ass comment

path: 0 16938249 16941960 16946108, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1
Soulg 0 points a year ago

Delusional comparison lol

path: 0 16938249 16941960 16946108 16948074, hotness: undefined, score: 0, children: 0
TimewornTraveler 2 points a year ago

You can credit whatever you want in your head, but learning to hate our bodies is more of a recipe for eating disorders than it is for self-care of exercising and eating right

path: 0 16938249 16941960 16946464, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 3
tauren 2 points a year ago

That doesn't mean others can't dislike what they see.

path: 0 16938249 16941960 16946464 16946700, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 2
TimewornTraveler -1 points a year ago

", Tauren desperately interjected, eager to remind the two strangers talking about their own bodies that he hates fat people.

path: 0 16938249 16941960 16946464 16946700 16946737, hotness: undefined, score: -1, children: 1
And009 1 point a year ago

It's natural human interaction, issues arise when either side is intolerant to hearing the others perspective.

path: 0 16938249 16941960 16943423, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
kepix 24 points a year ago

path: 0 16938249 16943745, hotness: undefined, score: 24, children: 1
nimble -11 points a year ago
path: 0 16938249 16943745 16946512, hotness: undefined, score: -11, children: 0
untakenusername 10 points a year ago

same I'm so confused rn

path: 0 16938249 16939944, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 1
endeavor 6 points a year ago
path: 0 16938249 16939944 16942300, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
blarghly 6 points a year ago

The context is that OOP got catfished by a dude. The joke is that they were naive enough to fall for it in this day and age.

path: 0 16938249 16964947, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
TimewornTraveler 2 points a year ago

it's okay to hate bodies that dont conform to the fantasy standard, didn't you get that memo?

it's also fine to hate addicts and neurodivergents and anyone that suffers consequences from behavioral patterns, because anything short of perfection is shit, dontchaknow. god i hate myself

path: 0 16938249 16946513, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 2
Comment105 6 points a year ago

Average weight 20 years ago isn't a fantasy standard.

path: 0 16938249 16946513 16959750, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1
TimewornTraveler 1 point a year ago

keyword is average. (and we must also ask, avg of who) i wonder how those above that average were treated 20 yrs ago... hmmm

path: 0 16938249 16946513 16959750 16974927, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
ScrambledEggs 8 points a year ago

You guys are getting discord girlfriends?

path: 0 16957992, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 1
buddascrayon 7 points a year ago

Have you seen the movie "Her"?

path: 0 16957992 16958132, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
anachrohack 6 points a year ago
path: 0 16929235, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
Thcdenton 6 points a year ago

path: 0 16965547, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
jerkface 2 points a year ago

Don't post this shit.

path: 0 16976224, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Lennnny 1 point a year ago

I'm a girl with plump hairy legs and I'm hot.

path: 0 16962832, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
funny
funny

@sh.itjust.works

login for more options
15954
2659
5793

General rules:

  • Be kind.
  • All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
  • Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
  • No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
  • Don't post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

go to feed...