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Aviandelight 163 points a year ago

Okay I'm choosing violence on this one so downvote away if you must. This is not an American thing, it's a patriarchy thing. We are conditioned and constantly reinforced with the idea that sex is about subjugation and not intimacy in our language and culture. All my life I've heard phrases like "suck my dick/balls" used as an insult across all genders and then when I am expected to perform such acts in the context of a loving relationship my brain outright refuses to associate that with an act of love and my partner acts all surprise Pikachu about it. The patriarchy and our common language insists that sex is bad at the detriment and isolation of everyone. Men in particular are isolated and conditioned to never give/receive love or even recognize their emotions with the only consolation being that they are given permission to subjugate women. And so the culture persists through our own unwitting actions as people are impeded from ever fully connecting with each other in perfect love and perfect trust. It's shit like this that keeps the patriarchy in control and us under control.

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TwoBeeSan 36 points a year ago

You have seen though all the bullshit. Very very well said.

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techt 24 points a year ago

"Get fucked", "Go fuck yourself", "Blow me", "Eat my ass", so many along a similar vein I never considered. Great write-up; I'll never think about those things the same way again.

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LH0ezVT 6 points a year ago

Go fuck yourself always sounds pretty non-gendered to me. The implication is the same: go away and masturbate because nobody (and most definitely not me) wants to be near you. Now there is an argument on whether masturbation by itself (hah) is painted as inherently bad, but I'd argue it works more through the social layer.

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riwo 23 points a year ago

preach <3 <3

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HexadecimalSky 17 points a year ago

Very well put argument.

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isVeryLoud 16 points a year ago

Great write up, this highlights how powerful the way we use language can be, and why it's important to consider the words and vocabulary we choose.

The way we use language affects the way we think, it reframes topics and normalizes ideas.

Patriarchal expressions are what we call "loaded", similar to how calling an immigrant "alien" strips them of their humanity, or using the terms "blacklist" and "whitelist" reinforces "white good, black bad".

Loaded language can be used accidentally, or strategically to convey a particular emotion, and language can equally be unloaded, such as in the case of "letting go" instead of "firing", or "passed away" instead of "died", it distances the concept from the underlying emotion.

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Whats_your_reasoning 4 points a year ago

I'd just like to step on the soapbox for one quick, tangential message. Considering the power vocabulary has to influence perception, I'd advise against using the terms "elite" and" elitist," in regards to the wealthy and their habits.

From their perspective, such phrasing validates their status above the rest of us and casually implies that we agree that we're inferior to them. Consider a more apt term for describing them, like "the parasite class," "the 1%," or "guillotine-fodder."

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JackbyDev 13 points a year ago

I guess it's true that things like eating a woman out, fingering a woman, and scissoring don't have the "-job" suffix.

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SuperNovaStar 5 points a year ago

... but I like being humiliated a 'lil tho

(Seriously, very insightful)

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tasho 5 points a year ago

nah, you're spitting facts đŸ”„

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gandalf_der_12te 3 points a year ago

I must say not ever, not even once in my life have i experienced any sexual act i have done to anyone as an act of "subjugation" or "control". I do absolutely not get what other people keep rambling about when they say these things.

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Jtotheb 2 points a year ago

You’re talking about your experiences and they’re talking about theirs.

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TTH4P 3 points a year ago

Amen.

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OpticalMoose 59 points a year ago

We (Americans) use the word job for all those things, but actually getting paid for them is illegal. 😡

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HexadecimalSky 31 points a year ago

I mean they would want getting paid for any job to be illegal, so they are just ahead of the curve on the labor laws right now.

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TTH4P 45 points a year ago

I once had someone ask me if a blowjob was a yin or yang act. I said I thought it was yin and they got mad and I said a blowie is an act of nurture. I never forgot that lesson - people will do absolutely anything to make you feel bad about a rulejob.

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KaiReeve 29 points a year ago

It was my understanding that the names for these things came about to help facilitate negotiations with prostitutes, which would make them jobs. These actions didn't require names in any other social context because missionary was the only socially acceptable sex act and anything else was simply "sin".

This isn't a capitalist failing, it's a religious failing.

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Revan343 9 points a year ago

Porque no los dos?

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Whats_your_reasoning 3 points a year ago

Interesting, I haven't considered this idea. Where did you get that information from? Is there a source you can link? I'd like to learn more.

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KaiReeve 3 points a year ago

You can do a quick web search for the etymology of some of the words, but since it's slang, and sex slang at that, it's mostly speculation and difficult to find an irrefutable source.

Even the word blow in blowjob has several possible origins. It could be from the Latin fellatus - to suck, move air with your mouth, blow. Or it could be blow like explode, as in orgasm. Or it could be from Victorian era prostitutes who used the term 'below job'.

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SayJess 28 points a year ago

It is honest work, and hopefully the one performing the labor gets to reap the rewards of such work. Though maybe I have been convinced that the value of my labor is less than what it really is? đŸ€”

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Tiger_Man_ 26 points a year ago

There's one word for onion

also there's praca/zawĂłd for job

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Kellenved 6 points a year ago

I just assumed the first comment was lies to begin with

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Whats_your_reasoning 3 points a year ago

Yeaaah... Sadly, "Polish jokes" are alive and well in some circles. Those circles have been shrinking for a while now, thankfully, but the original post sounds awfully close to some of the "dumb/lazy Pole" shit I've heard throughout my time.

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KSPAtlas 3 points a year ago

Yeah I don't know where the onion thing came from, you just have cebula

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vvvvv 10 points a year ago

My native language does not have a term for "dream job". I was, at first, quite confused by LinkedIn.

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gandalf_der_12te 4 points a year ago

basedonion and onionruled.

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TachyonTele 3 points a year ago

That's just a creamjob

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