I wonder what happens at level nine.

8 months ago by Maven (famous) to c/lowqualityfacts

Alt Text: "l'm currently a level three Scientologist, which means can smell colors. Once I reach level seven wi no longer need a skeletal system. 2

-Tom Cruise

Kolanaki 29 points 8 months ago

The levels are bullshit. Like, you can just pay to advance levels? Scientology is P2W garbage.

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Naz 14 points 8 months ago

"And with that latest payment of two million caps, you're officially the highest rated Scientologist, you're now Level 15, which is an even higher rank than I am!

You're positively, and completely clear!"

"Okay and now what?"

"Well, I thought you would know, most clear one"

(I console cheated the money in, but realistically, you ought to figure out it's a scam by the 100 caps mark)

(Quick loading and blasting them all is completely valid IMO)

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Kolanaki 1 point 8 months ago

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FooBarrington 8 points 8 months ago

Except level 6, where you gain the ability to eat a ghost. But the rest is bullshit.

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Pronell 14 points 8 months ago

But can he see the color blurple?

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monkeyslikebananas2 11 points 8 months ago

Or octarine?

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FudgyMcTubbs 5 points 8 months ago

Or puce?

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DragonTypeWyvern 4 points 8 months ago

Please don't make up fake colors

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zod000 2 points 8 months ago

I had a legit argument with my FIL about puce being a color. He still doesn't believe it.

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SaveTheTuaHawk 2 points 8 months ago

Chartreuse is real, you can drink it.

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TankovayaDiviziya 12 points 8 months ago

I feel really bad for Tom Cruise. From what I heard, he is genuinely a nice person and he loves his craft, but I can tell deep down that he's lonely and insecure. Lonely people tend to be easy preys for cults.

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BarneyPiccolo 10 points 8 months ago

He's also Gay and trying to hide it. Scientology hunts for those people, and exploits their fear of discovery. Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Will Smith, etc.

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hypnicjerk 6 points 8 months ago

repressed homosexuals among actors? now i've heard everything

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BarneyPiccolo 1 point 8 months ago

Every one of those guys started in the 70s and 80s, when that sort of thing would have a major impact on your acting career.

This isn't some new idea, there has been talk about these guys being blackmailed by Scientology for many years.

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SaveTheTuaHawk 2 points 8 months ago

That was a rumor started when he got that job at the candy factory packing fudge.

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IronBird 1 point 8 months ago

will smith got married and had kids just to maintain the illusion he's not gay?

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BarneyPiccolo 2 points 8 months ago

So did Cruise and Travolta. That's been pretty common for Hollywood since the beginning.

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SaveTheTuaHawk 1 point 8 months ago

It's the whole reason why Palm Springs thrived post WWII -to get away from the prying eyes of LA media.

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PapaStevesy 2 points 8 months ago

It's called a "beard"

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melsaskca 10 points 8 months ago

I think that guy is on a mission that is not possible.

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ArcaneSlime 10 points 8 months ago

Afaik OTVIII is still the highest, no 9 yet (though there "are" 15, only 7 were released before ol' Lafayette Hubbard died.)

Of course, it only comes with the power of being further scammed by the "church."

I prefer to be scammed by a better church, one that admits to scamming! At least "Bob" is honest! Plus they condone my degeneracy and preach radical insanity, win win. To find out more about The Church of the SubGenius write to "Bob" at P.O. Box 807 Glen Rose, TX 76043. Send $3 and ask for the pamphlet. You'll pay to know what you really think!

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lugal 4 points 8 months ago

I know you admitted it to be a scam but is it a pyramid scheme? Because a pyramid is only a scam when you are at the bottom

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DragonTypeWyvern 5 points 8 months ago

Benefiting from a scam doesn't mean it's not a scam it means you run the scam

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hypnicjerk 2 points 8 months ago

you could also be a useful idiot

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lugal 1 point 8 months ago

You're using the language of losers. It's only a scam if I lose. Otherwise it's a great business model

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ArcaneSlime 2 points 8 months ago

Well kinda sorta but not really. Our great guru "Bob" is dead (some say otherwise, but,) his successor Rev. Ivan Stang is the current Sacred Scribe (#273). He is getting older, but when he boards the Saucers early (unless X-Day comes firs, finally) he is handing The Church to Rev. Onan Canobite who has been with the church since like 1984 (he also runs our mastodon instance, dobbs.town).

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PwnTra1n 7 points 8 months ago

I hope at level 9 he is turned into ash

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TheBrideWoreCrimson 3 points 8 months ago

Guy is close to retirement age, at level 3. At level 7, his skeletal system will no longer need him... because he'll be long gone.

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offspec 3 points 8 months ago

What is this, Nalthis?

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weatherman 2 points 8 months ago

He's Vasherposting

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WorldsDumbestMan 3 points 8 months ago

At what level do the aliens kidnap you, and take you off this world?

Asking for a friend.

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ArcaneSlime 2 points 8 months ago

They don't! You just find out about Xenu and the shit we already know.

The UFO cult with an exit plan is actually The Church of the SubGenius, on X-Day (July 5th, 1998 which hasn't happened yet clearly, we only think it has because The Conspiracy has fudged the calendars in a futile attempt to thwart us), the X-ists (the good aliens) will come Rupture the faithful dues paying SubGenii unto the PleasureSaucers while they harvest the rest of the planet for parts. Eternal Salvation or TRIPLE your money back! Write to "Bob" at P.O Box 807 Glen Rose, TX 76043, send $3 and ask for the pamphlet to learn more!

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