^where was this quote from? I didn't see that in this article.

I just want fat and off putting smell in my burger

Zero contaminants in a highly processed food tells me that the processing facility is maintained better, unrelated to flavor

A better shelf life is cool but has absolutely nothing to do with actually tasting better

Generally, how these Stiftung Warentest tests work is that they a pick a product category, like here patties, then they come up with disciplines to rate them in and then they grade each product accordingly.
Some of the disciplines here were (translated by me):

• sensory rating
• nutritional-physiological quality
• microbiological quality
• user friendliness of packaging

I would assume that they did a blind taste test and all that jazz, too. It is their business model to sell the data to industry, investors etc., so if their methodology wasn't up to snuff, they'd be out of business pretty quickly.

You can find more information on the Stiftung Warentest site itself.

That's an unfair comparison. Here's how to make it fair: The department stores and local stores could easily use peas instead of meat and it would improve the taste. Since vegan burger patties already have the edge when frozen, they surely would be even better when fresh. The stores just have to up their game and learn how to do it.

Vegan patties are a bit of a mixed bag. Don't get discouraged by not liking one. If you like burger king, try beyond burger. It's been a long time aince i ate meat, but that's exactly what i remember the taste like. If the patty is really cheap and looks "compressed" and has not much rexture, maybe atay away. I mean maybe you like it but damn, for me it's rough. Beyond beef also has minced meat now, which my girlfriend doesn't like because it tastes too much like beef.

I think going in expecring exactly what you are used roo is the wrong approach. We are creatures of habit, and sometimes it takes some time to break that habit. My nephew is a really picky eater and since he knows i don't eat meat, he's always sceptic. Once i made him nuggets and he was like: what are these? Not chicken i assume. I told him no, they are not chicken, they are from a cuban bird, he never ate, so he ate it and loved it. Which is in a way kind of sick, knowing he wouldn't have eaten them if he knew it wasn't some random animal, instead of something else. Like i don't miss meat at all, but even if i could pick now a good vegan burger and a good normal burger without it being problematic or whatnot, i would pick the vegan burger every time. It's also way easier to prepare, and way harder to fuck up, they are just always juicier.

Throw some algae in there, and you've got a stew going!

Dead wrong

The Impossible burger isn’t trying to be healthier than beans and rice, but even as a processed food it’s healthier than a meat burger.

As reported in this study, the plant-based options had less fat and fewer calories. They would also have no cholesterol, which is only found in animals foods, and they may contain some fiber, which is only found in plant foods. A number of processed meats have been food to be carcinogenic while I don’t think any plant-based burgers have.

The book How Not To Die reviews scientific studies of food choices if you want a deeper dive.. finding animal-based protein is correlated with a range of diseases.

So no, I don’t expect veggie burgers will be less healthy than meat patties.

Dr Gregor has a good series on this, basically yes, these mock meats are not "healthy", but they are healthier than animal meat. On nutrition facts, search for "ultraprocessed".
Here is a good one about this:
https://nutritionfacts.org/...

I imagine, they mainly don't want to compete with the plethora of cheap+good vegan protein options: lentils, beans, chickpeas, nuts, tofu, tempeh, seitan, TVP, hummus, falafel etc.

Faking meat works as a market, because folks often just want what they're used to, and then you're primarily competing against real meat, which is much more expensive, so you can excuse quite a large profit margin.

And I'm certainly not reading up on this.

Then why comment that this is horse shit?

You're the only one here reflexively tossing it in the "liberal lie pile," and even proudly standing by your ignorance by refusing to engage with the source.

Kindly go cope somewhere else. This clearly isn't for you.

"I'm too fragile to read the article but too triggered to keep my mouth shut." Just fuck off.

Has it ever occurred to you that some people genuinely don't like the taste of meat and think plants taste better?

I get your disbelieve but you have to look at what they did. They tested convenience food, not self made quality products. They compared meat products to plant based counterfits. The good stuff is actually whole food that you can make yourself. You can't compare a raw beef with a raw lentil patty since they taste completely different. But you can make an incredibly delicious lentil burger that is also very healthy and eco friendly. It all comes down to the recipe. As soon as you add seasoning, good meat doesn't neccessarily win always for meat eaters.