Except this is entirely on the spider's terms. Land is given but there's no quota, no tax. The spider may come and go as he pleases and only needs to catch enough pests to feed himself.

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akunohana 10 points a month ago

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alt_xa_23 34 points a month ago

Looks like you found yourself a network debugger

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Agent641 18 points a month ago

I was going to say web admin but yours is good too.

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akunohana 6 points a month ago

OKAY. I thought all the funny responses were already exhausted xD <3

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PattyMcB 5 points a month ago

Came here to say this. Thank you for making my job easier!

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SirSamuel 34 points a month ago

You've considered a capitalist solution, but have you considered

Restorative justice: the spider is a trespasser, but will likely not find enough prey to survive. Capture the spider and relocate it to a suitable habitat where it can thrive. Check on it occasionally to ensure it is doing well

Libertarian anarchism: leave it be. It will die, survive, or thrive on its own terms

Authoritarianism: tell the spider if it doesn't remove itself it will be arrested, start ordering it to get on the ground, fire 13 rounds at it, preferably missing all shots but hitting a nearby toddler. Institute martial law against the "foreign threat", citing the recent death of a toddler

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chonglibloodsport 14 points a month ago

House spiders generally don’t survive outdoors. They’re cave-dwelling species and they seek out indoor spaces by instinct.

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SirSamuel 12 points a month ago

This is a very good point. In rebuttal

A. I did say "a suitable habitat"

B. I was very clearly shitposting

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chonglibloodsport 6 points a month ago

Sure, though my comment wasn’t strictly a rebuttal to yours. It was as much an FYI to anyone who stumbled across our comments and has relocated spiders outside out of a desire to save them.

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SirSamuel 4 points a month ago

I'm glad you posted your original comment. I tend to be pretty tongue-in-cheek, both online and IRL. Sorry if it comes off as abrasive, in my mind it's all in good fun. Love you and hope you have a fantastic day <3

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Cyber 1 point a month ago

I didn't know that, everyday is a schoolday.

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akunohana 5 points a month ago

SirSamuel, you enlightened bastard! You don't know how much I needed this laugh.

Also, I decided to go the pre-Marxist socialist route: the spider is allowed to stay and to contribute according to its abilities and shall be compensated according to its contributions in the pest elimination field.

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Digit 22 points a month ago

impose rent?

but...

it's already working for you, setting up traps for flies.

bloody capitalists... always short-sightedly, myopically, trying to maximise wealth extraction.

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akunohana 9 points a month ago

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MeatPilot 20 points a month ago

It gets to keep 25% of the bugs he catches. You get to eat the other 75%.

Any changes to the web will void it's deposit and you get to eat 500 of it's bugs to repair any damage.

Utilities are not included. There will be a 5 bug charge for each droplet of water it drinks from the faucet. Even though it lives near WiFi, there is a hookup fee and monthly cost of 25 bugs.

If it is late on monthly bug payments for more that 1-week. You get to eat it's web and all the bugs. The spider will be taken outside on a paper towel or in a cup and left on the nearest leaf.

Implement those and you'll eat like a king!

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akunohana 4 points a month ago

I died xD

But...

I'm affraid he'll try to circumvent my espionage with some spidey encryption... No idea how to counter that. :/

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ExtremeDullard 18 points a month ago

Threaten it to call immigration if it doesn't pay up.

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akunohana 3 points a month ago

That's... low. Even for me. xD

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Grass 11 points a month ago

Its already a work in place of rent situation. I have tenants with similar contract in my kitchen window, my shower ceiling, the storage/work room window, and the one that doesn't follow the rules in the front entrance arch who is likely to be evicted.

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zane 11 points a month ago

Been thinking of hosting a webcrawler myself.

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akunohana 3 points a month ago

Sweet! Let me know when your Codeberg page is up. Meanwhile, are you leaning in any particular direction?

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ryannathans 10 points a month ago

Keeping the computer bugs at bay

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akunohana 3 points a month ago

True. Fully automated out of the box too! Like, no scripting, no broken config files, whathaveyou.

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pupbiru 9 points a month ago

rent? it’s keeping your house pest free… you owe it money

(also obligatory that’s not a spider THIS is a spider from australia)

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palordrolap 4 points a month ago

The problem with the implicit size comparison in the Crocodile Dundee reference is that Australian spider size is inversely proportional to their actual danger.

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akunohana 1 point a month ago

I went here to tempt fate. Jesus Christ. If it's any one of these living in my access point, I don't know... Would a Norwegian reboot kill it?

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akunohana 1 point a month ago

True... I don't know how to pay her though. PayPal? Ko-Fi?

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pupbiru 4 points a month ago

ko-fly preferable to ko-squito… they’re both pests but those fees really sting

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Monument 8 points a month ago

She’s just trying to crawl the web!

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akunohana 3 points a month ago

I'm afraid of what she might scrape while crawling.

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Honytawk 7 points a month ago

What do you mean? It is already working hard to get rid of all the flies in there.

You sound more like a capitalist CEO. Are you going to take its healthcare away as well?

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akunohana 2 points a month ago

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TWeaK 6 points a month ago

They're already working hard ensuring your local network web is free from bugs.

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akunohana 2 points a month ago

True. I guess I can show it some leniency.

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blinfabian 6 points a month ago

am i crazy or is there no spider in this photo??

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akunohana 2 points a month ago

No, you are not crazy. Spider web is all there is. - akunohana 2026

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eta 6 points a month ago

Similar to "bug" you can establish "spider" as a new computer term for things that infest a running system. Then you do conference talks, write books about it and keep all the earnings you get from doing that. The spider can't sue you for a share of that if it doesn't also pay you rent.

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anton 5 points a month ago

A spider is something you release into your system to catch bugs.
For a small fee of 1000$/h I will tell your company how.

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akunohana 2 points a month ago

Yeah I'm with the other commenter on this one. Spiders are deployed against bugs. I will leave her alone to dwell.

But seriously though... WHERE IS SHE?! xD

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Malica 6 points a month ago

I just love that you call it a network rack

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akunohana 4 points a month ago

😅

It also goes under

Rashōmon (ancient gateway in Japan, when I talk to it)
it's complicated (when troubleshooting/talking to my ISP)

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humanspiral 6 points a month ago

First, do you have access to a spider sized pen that it could use to sing a contract?

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akunohana 1 point a month ago

Hm... I have some ideas, but not ready to use pens: I'll dip my smallest screws - M.2 securing screws - in ink and hand it over to them as a "house" warming gift?

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humanspiral 2 points a month ago

You have already realized that deception will be key. Bravo. Make sure you photograph the spider close to the paragraph that says "I have read and understood this entire agreement." This will be key to future enforcement actions.

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measureyoucanpleasure 6 points a month ago

Wow, nice rack!!!

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akunohana 3 points a month ago

Thanks 🍈🍈

I actually did a little more in depth boasting here a month or two ago.

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ScarlettStunningSpace 5 points a month ago

I love this thread

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akunohana 3 points a month ago

Me too. I have no earthly idea on how it "blew up" like this. 🤣🩷

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_chris 5 points a month ago

Spider notwithstanding, looks like you’ve made an excellent partial faraday cage for your WiFi 😂

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akunohana 6 points a month ago

Well, the wavelength of 5GHz is 5 6 cm. The smaller gaps between the bars on the individual "shelves" are 2.6 cm and the bigger gaps are 14 cm. While the smaller gaps could disrupt the waves, the bigger gaps, at which the antennas are pointed, do not.

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NerdsGonnaNerd 3 points a month ago

You could collect the spider silk and weave a cape. Golden Spider Silk Cape

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akunohana 1 point a month ago

I'm not well enough versed in the ways of textiles and such. But if the silk conducts current, maybe I could create some sort of signal carrying wires? And if they exceed CAT8 speeds, I'll trademark them.

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NerdsGonnaNerd 1 point 24 days ago

well, did it work? :P

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akunohana 1 point 24 days ago

I hate to disappoint, but I have already moved on to more time sensitive projetcs. xD

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PixeIOrange 3 points a month ago

You should write a tiny letter

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HaraldvonBlauzahn 2 points a month ago

Indoctrinate the spider that it will catch many more bugs by using AI tools, and then let it pay.

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akunohana 3 points a month ago

I cannot be held responsible for when it eventually falls into spider AI psychosis.

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HaraldvonBlauzahn 3 points a month ago

Even more gain! Do you know what prozac does cost? Its family will need to pay the pharmacy bills if it doesn't want their loved one ending up homeless.

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akunohana 1 point a month ago

You're evil and I don't hate it.

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aarch0x40 2 points a month ago

You’re seriously considering charging the spider rent after he provides you an excellent web connection without asking you for so much as a dime?! How dare you, sir?! How very dare you!!

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akunohana 1 point a month ago

I have made a fool of myself. You are absolutely right! I'll do some ping, traceroute and nslookup and get back to you! :)

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pulsewidth 2 points a month ago

Considering household insects like cockroaches often look for warm, dry locations to lay their oothecas (egg capsules), and have been known to get fried and damage equipment while doing so - I'd say you actually might have a useful symbiotic pal there, protecting your gear (do I see an MT-6000? Great gateway).

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akunohana 3 points a month ago

You're absolutely right! The spider stays!

The rack goes:
The ISP's ONT (in the hallway, not visible here) ---> a TP-link SG105E swtich:

---> a VPN router (RPi4 + OpenWRT + Mullvad) ---> an Asus RT-AX58U AX3000 router (in access point mode, 2.4GHz turned off) ---> most appliances at home
---> a plain router (RPi4 + OpenWRT) ---> an Asus RT-AX58U AX3000 version 2 router (in access point mode, 2.4GHz turned off) ---> Tor bridge (the white device in the picture, a RPi 5) + occasionally backup for internet access

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