Why are so many women against the video games hobby?

8 days ago by Sunshine to c/womensstuff

It’s sad you never hear feminine folks on voice chat.

Vanth 67 points 8 days ago

2026 statistics, it's 53/46 male/female gamers in the U.S.

https://www.statista.com/...

Women are gaming. They are probably just not in voice channels as much as men because who wants to deal with unmoderated sexist abuse while trying to enjoy a leisure hobby?

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Sunshine 21 points 8 days ago

who wants to deal with unmoderated sexist abuse while trying to enjoy a leisure hobby?

Definitely one of the biggest failures of modern society.

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Bluegrass_Addict 16 points 8 days ago

sadly it's not a modern societal issue. women have always been the bearer of abuse for no reason

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aramis87 5 points 8 days ago

who wants to deal with unmoderated sexist abuse while trying to enjoy a leisure hobby?

Definitely one of the biggest failures of modern society.

Do you call it out when you see or hear it? If you want women to show up, it's on you and your peers to make it a more welcoming environment.

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Sunshine 8 points 8 days ago

I have called out bigotry in voice comms and initiated vote kicks.

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orioler25 4 points 7 days ago

Uhuh, do you? It'd be kind of fucked up and shitty to suggest women are solely responsible for challenging misogyny and then not participate yourself.

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aramis87 2 points 7 days ago

What makes you think I'm not a woman? Another reason people don't "see" women on the internet is the automatic assumption that someone is a man.

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orioler25 13 points 8 days ago

This is pretty much exactly why I use text chat only in multiplayer games. Even then, you'll often have them freakout if you mention anything marginally anti-misogynist.

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Taleya 47 points 8 days ago

We're not.

48% of gamers are women, probably more if they were honest. The stereotype is a lie.

Women tend to stay off chat and under the radar on team games because low skilled males are arseholes

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Sunshine 7 points 8 days ago

Anecdotally, I know some women who are judgmental of the hobby.

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Taleya 18 points 8 days ago

and I know some men who are. Almost like people are their own individuals and not some gestalt.

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ZDL 16 points 7 days ago

Some women are judgmental of the hobby. Some men are judgmental of the hobby.

There's marketing studies of video games and show a very strong feminine presence. But as @Taleya says, they stay under the radar because a feminine voice is a magnet for the worst of the worst in male behaviour.

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zabby 45 points 8 days ago

Last week my good Judy was playing Wardogs with us and she used the voice comms to coordinate. Within minutes she was harassed, called a dumb bitch, then team killed.

Then twenty minutes later a teammate threatened to find her address and rape her.

I probably would stay off the voice chat too if I was her.

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warm 10 points 8 days ago

It's the flip side too, some guys turn into creeps around women, thinking they deserve a chance with them.

I've also had the same threats as a guy, people in these types of games are just the bottom of the barrel.

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ScoffingLizard 0 points 7 days ago

That makes me want to go to chat and rape them in Souls P2P.

Only problem is I'd have to updrade differently for P2P. I'm from Alabama, so I'd love for some rapist dick to find themselves unfortunate to be the poor bastard found alone with me. Sounds like I might have identified a good trolling hobby.

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aramis87 26 points 8 days ago

you never hear feminine folks on voice chat.

Because a lot of the time when you have a female[-presenting] voice, you get either pigeon-holed into certain roles ("we need you to be the healer!"), patronized for skills that would be unremarkable in a male [-sounding] player, griefed by your sex when you make a mistake ("stupid fucking cunt!"), get white knighted sometimes ("oh, here, you take this! tiny shy giggle), sent explicit messages in group chat or PM, etc, etc. Even if you disguise your voice or stay off chat, you still need to have a certain level of tolerance for the misogyny, sexism and racism that crops up.

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pieberry 24 points 8 days ago

The one and only time i did a multiplayer game with voice chat with strangers, they were sexist assholes. Never again.

Now, any multiplayer games I play are with friends only, or are games that don't need chat.

I play almost exclusively single player games.

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Nefara 20 points 8 days ago

I disagree with the premise that women aren't gaming as a hobby. You would never know how many women play single player games, and in multiplayer games not being in voice isn't much of an indicator.

I think this is very much a game dependent thing. When I commanded open world events in Guild Wars 2 I didn't have any trouble, but when I played Overwatch, I would get judgement and snide comments and extra scrutiny. Most of the time I didn't have any trouble from teammates but that <10% was bad enough that I don't blame any woman from staying quiet.

I think each game attracts certain people and encourages certain behaviors, and those people will create their own subculture around the game. See Helldivers for example. Guild Wars 2 has done an admirable job creating an online space with less toxicity than most. Overwatch not so much. I think it's extremely common for people to form gaming clans and carve out their own enclave away from the random population, so they can play even games with highly toxic hostile cultures in relative peace. I think if you found yourself in a larger gaming clan that explicitly made toxicity unacceptable, you would find yourself surrounded by women on voice with you.

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Beth 12 points 8 days ago

I play games a few hours a day. I just reserve my vocal communication to known individuals due to harassment being a near guarantee.

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Sunshine 9 points 8 days ago

It shouldn’t be a “male’s” hobby. I refuse to allow fascists to deny us another thing, I saw them complaining about the The Last of US 2 for culture war reasons, they have no right to set the rules.

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gegil 7 points 8 days ago

Since when is gaming a men's hobby? For as long as i remember, while majority of gamers are men, women are still a significant part of gamers, at least in the games that i play and watch online. And especially in recent years, i see more women in games.

It may be a "male's" hobby for gooner shooters, but in casual games it is pretty much equal.

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ZDL 6 points 7 days ago

I can't speak for video games (because I loathe most of them and don't even bother looking at them any more) but I can take a step to the side and talk about (pencil and paper) RPGs.

I started that hobby early. 1978, while it was still punk AAF and full up with the DIY ethos. Back then women were a significant fraction of the player base; I mean really, it was practically catnip as a game for theatre nerds and drama flakes, and a huge fraction of those (probably majority) were women. Hell, one of the most influential forums for game players and designers to hang out, Alarums & Excursions (still in operation last I heard!), was an APA run by a woman: Lee Gold.

But things changed from the '70s and into the late '80s until a lot of women were driven out of the public view (myself included). Pick-up games, hanging out in the games/comic shop, attending conventions … women just vanished because sexual harassment and gatekeeping and all the other obnoxious toxic masculine behaviour came to the forefront. There was a brief upsurge in the '90s with the release of White Wolf's line (Vampire, et al), but it was still very small compared to the number of women at the beginning.

And who wants that shit in their recreation.

I still play RPGs. I still talk about them in some circles. Hell, one of my two Mastodon accounts is a gamer community. But I don't go to conventions. I don't hang out at gaming shops (well, OK, right now because I'm half a world away from any, but before I moved here). I don't do pick-up games with strangers (the rule is "friends first, then the fun"; it applies to RPGs and sex both). By any metric used by people observing the hobby, I don't exist.

But I do. And at my peak I had more RPGs (not supplements: core game rules) than most people can even name.

But hanging out with poorly-socialized men in someone else's home? Not gonna happen.

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orioler25 2 points 7 days ago

Strange, I wonder what videogame mass marketing trends looked before 2010, when a less challenged cultural awareness of sexism in media had already been established. Do you think you'll find PS2 or Xbox 360 ads gendered equally? When do you think you could draw the line where we could look at public discourses surrounding video games and prove that it was not perceived of primarily as a men's hobby?

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orioler25 3 points 8 days ago

I think it would be more accurate to say "men's" hobby, unless you meant to include the point that misogynistic people would of course subscribe to naturalized gender.

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ZDL 1 point 7 days ago

You mean like they used in their first sentence? Without the "scare quotes"?

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orioler25 2 points 7 days ago

They said "male's," and I said it would be better to say "men's," unless they intended to reference that misogynists typically also think of those two things as synonymous, and wouldn't even think to be conscious of trans women or trans men existing.

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ZDL 1 point 7 days ago

They said "men" and "women" two times each. Without putting quotes around them. Then in the last sentence they used "male". With quotes around it.

I wonder why the quotes were around that final usage? Surely it's not at all a characterization of the way the toxic people refer to "males" and "females" in gaming circles...

Nah. They must have meant "male" all along and "men" was just a typo.

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Bryllyg 9 points 8 days ago

It might depend on the game somewhat.

When I was active on guild wars 2 the last couple years, there were a few women in each guild I interacted with. But ya, not all of them were comfy on voice chat.

I wonder if the situation is better with MMORPG's in general.

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gegil 9 points 8 days ago

I play an online game mindustry, and there are many women who play on public servers. This game is quite popular amongst queer folk, so many trans and gay people. That if i play on english speaking servers.

Joining a server from my country, everyone just assumes i am a men. I used a feminine pronoun for me while writing random message in chat, and people were like: "WTF, WOMEN?!?" "Are you really a girl?", and other misogynistic stuff, which felt like those people thought that women are a fictional creatures, and not a normal people who play games.

About voice chat, i dont know, because i dont use discord.

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stopforgettingit 8 points 7 days ago

I have been gaming probably longer than you have been alive. My first PC was a 386.

I only join women only or LGBTQ guilds and go in voice chat with them because like Vanth said, its not a very enjoyable hobby if I am bombarded with sexist comments and assholes who are more concerned about what is in my pants thousands of miles away than the game right in front of them.

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ScoffingLizard 7 points 7 days ago

Woman here.

Original Demon's Souls was the best game ever.

Returnal maybe second.

Bet some incels claim I'm a bot.

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Alcyonaria 7 points 8 days ago

I meet tons of other women on simulators/sandbox/shooters, theyre just extremely discerning because you have to be

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Routhinator 6 points 8 days ago

They aren't, dudes make it creepy though so the real ones stay off chat.

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ZDL 5 points 7 days ago

Would you mind terribly much reading the rules for this group, please?

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Routhinator 2 points 7 days ago

Oh crap, missed that this was womenstuff. Voyager makes it easy to miss in darkmode.

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ZDL 5 points 7 days ago

No troubles. And thanks for understanding.

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GrantUsEyes 6 points 7 days ago

I'm a gamer; we exist, it's not uncommon. Personally I'm just not interested in online games for the most part. And The few online games I've played are without voice comms.

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NerdyNeko90 5 points 8 days ago

I’m 36. I think there used to be a stigma that games were only for social awkward male basement dwellers. It’s definitely changed with mobile gaming in the 2010s and more story focused rpgs. I knew a few other girls in college that were counting down the days till Skyrim launched in 2011.

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Sunshine 0 points 8 days ago

basement dwellers.

Any gender can fall into that category.

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tanisnikana 4 points 8 days ago

I play games nearly exclusively on my phone. Old PlayStation games, assorted PC releases, all kinds of fun stuff, right off my phone, cause I’m on the road a lot. Lately it’s been Silent Hill and Parasite Eve, both ps1 games.

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GrantUsEyes 2 points 7 days ago

Boy from Venus! I'm really enjoying it :D

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