I feel like a good reply to “I have my faults,” is, “List them.”
Have you ever rejected someone's apology? If so, why? And was it the right thing to do?
6 days ago by Anchorxiety to c/asklemmy
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gigastasio 15 points 6 days ago
crayons_to_chaos 8 points 6 days ago
About the same as "let's just start fresh!"
Grail -2 points 6 days ago
I'm sorry that you have a find out this way, but you've been scammed.
Self-help books have sold you and your community the idea that abuse is caused by a mental disorder. Unfortunately, the remedy these scams prescribe - identifying people with NPD - doesn't actually protect you from abuse, and it isn't healing.
You won't find healing from your trauma in ableist Reddit communities. See an actual therapist and form positive relationships with people in your community. Not "support groups" that blame all their problems on their abusers' supposed mental disorders and engage in retraumatising. Get a hobby, spend time with friends in the hobby. Join a book club or a bouldering group or a D&D game.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is caused by genetics and child abuse. People with NPD are abuse victims, just like you. There are plenty of mentally healthy, neurotypical abusers in the world. Blaming shit on a vulnerable minority is pseudoscientific and counterproductive.
Zarobi 9 points 5 days ago
Regardless of the underlying reasons, narcissistic personality disorder often makes someone a harmful person to be around; the diagnosis is a reason, not an excuse. At the end of the day it's their own responsibility to change their behaviour, and to find a lifestyle that empowers them to exist safely in society without harming others.
Blackfeathr 2 points 5 days ago
It's not a good idea to run defense for people who are narcissists when you know nothing about them as a person.
There are people with NPD who are abusers and horrible people, just like there are people without NPD who are also abusers and horrible people. It's naive to think otherwise.
Not every single person with NPD is this innocent misunderstood soul who deserves to be coddled in forgiveness and you need to accept that.
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If you find yourself constantly surrounded by a bunch malignant narcissists, you're always the one apologizing, so no worries there.
The closest thing to an apology I've heard from these types of people is "I have my faults". Word for word from multiple individuals.
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