I did go to the lamb of god concert recently. They were good! Buuut didnt feel much :(. Too many little anxieties in my brain. Also i went with my dad, and i mean historically that has meant a lot to me that he takes me to these things. There's so much going on with my dad. He accepts me, but like, I just can't get over the things he has said. Not about trans people per se, but he's just so fucking racist. He's also not someone I can correct both because him and I are so conflict adverse. He also has literally said feelings scare him, so good luck getting him to introspect. Im slightly empathetic towards that, but it doesnt cancel out his behaviour.

I honestly cant handle it anymore. He's also at times verbally abusive to my mum, like calling her an idiot and whatever. She just responds with "I hate you". Also he forgot her birthday btw. Oh also the guy says elons line "empathy is weakness". Theres a loong list of shit he says that gets at me.

Sorry to put a rant in my happy post. I just have so deeply needed to write this down and someone to have read it.

I do feel happy with how I am at least. That means the world to me.

Alright, back to meowing and purring