In what situation would you want to be lied to?

2 days ago by Fallibilist to c/asklemmy

It seems that whenever lying is being discussed people are quick to come up with justifications for why it's okay in certain situations, the classic one being that you were served food that you didn't like but when asked said that you did.

This seems to assume that the other people in fact would have preferred the lie over the truth. So I ask: when do you yourself prefer the lie?

Pomal 31 points 2 days ago

None, it assumes you don’t respect my ability to handle information.

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PonyOfWar 22 points 2 days ago

In situations where learning the true information would only cause me worry and stress, even though I'm powerless to do anything about it. For example, let's say my sister's dog has fallen ill and I'm on holiday somewhere. I'd rather be told that everything is fine and only learn about the truth when I came back.

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rumschlumpel 15 points 2 days ago

Whether it's temporary or not definitely makes a huge difference.

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tiramichu 5 points 2 days ago

I think lies told in kindness are sometimes the better choice, even if forever.

Imagine you're a nurse working ER, and someone comes in on the brink of death. They're on the table basically dying and getting dragged back to life over and over for half an hour until they team call it because there's nothing they can do.

Family member arrives distraught and you have to break the bad news. You can either say they died a traumatic and agonising death, or that they went quickly and didn't feel a thing.

I know which option I think is the right one.

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snooggums 13 points 2 days ago

None. Literally none. Sometimes I think people should keep their mouths shut and not say anything when it isn't necessary, but I don't want someone to lie to me for any reason whatsoever.

(People can say things that aren't true as jokes of course, those aren't lies.)

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A_A 2 points 2 days ago

i'm not going to lie to you : your username has been [deleted] ... !

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snooggums 4 points 2 days ago

Teal'c saying "Indeed"

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rumschlumpel 11 points 2 days ago

Fun fact: Apparently, placebos work even if the patient knows that they're placebos. Looks like we have Pavlov-conditioned ourselves to getting pills prescribed.

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Fallibilist 8 points 2 days ago

I've heard about this as well. Though if I remember correctly, it still requires you to go through the medical examination, and then be prescribed the pills. If you just order sugar pills online they don't tend to do anything.

In fact, I think this even applies to things like some forms of surgery. People have thought they got knee surgery and have gotten better when in fact they didn't.

Not sure what to conclude from this. Perhaps next time I'll just say that my dishonest opinion is that the food was great.

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funkless_eck 10 points 2 days ago

When I am experiencing media which is a piece of fiction such as a book, movie or TV show.

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CombatWombat 9 points 2 days ago

I wish people would get back to lying when I ask them how they're doing. The new "how're you?/"oh bad"/"oh what's wrong?"/"oh you know, just kinda everything" interchange annoys me because it's considered rude to then actually vent your spleen about the everything that is wrong. Either lie to me and say you're fine, or say you're bad and bring up a topic you want to discuss, but don't say you're bad and then expect me to ask no follow-up questions.

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Berttheduck 9 points 2 days ago

Memetic hazards. Hands down no question, lie to me.

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cerebralhawks 6 points 2 days ago

I am a realist and (at least in intent) stoic, I prefer the truth.

The earlier comment about not wanting to know if you can’t do anything about it (sister’s dog is sick/died), I would prefer the truth, but I’m not going to let something I have no control over affect my presence.

To be honest, I don’t think anyone can be truly stoic (think Spock from Star Trek) 100% of the time, it works with fictional characters, but “I control y emotional response” is always more of a goal than the reality.

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snooggums 4 points 2 days ago

Controlling emotional responses is more about how strong they are and if that has a negative effect, not about keeping them in and not showing them.

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PonyOfWar 3 points 2 days ago

To be honest, I don’t think anyone can be truly stoic (think Spock from Star Trek) 100% of the time, it works with fictional characters, but “I control y emotional response” is always more of a goal than the reality.

That's the problem. I'd love to be able to control my emotions to that degree, but I know myself and I'm more the kind of person to have sleepless nights over the most pointless things.

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Malica 5 points 2 days ago

I'm old and now I know, no lie is worth it. Ever.

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Kolanaki 5 points 2 days ago

I can't think of a single situation in which I would prefer to be lied to about.

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kazerniel 4 points 2 days ago

Hmm I really had to think hard about an example bc I would almost always prefer to be told the truth, e.g. if I had an incurable illness (I've seen my grandmother being lied to about her prognosis and it felt so disrespectful) or if I messed up something.

The only exception I could come up with is if it's like in a workplace meeting a question of "what do you think?" and the true answer would be like "that you're a bloody idiot" or "sorry I was just thinking of how hard I'm gonna fuck my partner tonight" or similar 😂

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snooggums 3 points 2 days ago

The only exception I could come up with is if it’s like in a workplace meeting a question of “what do you think?” and the true answer would be like “that you’re a bloody idiot” or “sorry I was just thinking of how hard I’m gonna fuck my partner tonight” or similar 😂

"I don't agree" and "Sorry, I was thinking of something else" are perfectly fine and not lies.

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Fallibilist 3 points 2 days ago

The only exception I could come up with is if it’s like in a workplace meeting a question of “what do you think?” ...

Lying would still be a bit pointless as you could also just say that you wish not to tell.

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A_A 3 points 2 days ago

Being optimistic or pessimistic are ways of lying to our own selves.

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rockSlayer 3 points 2 days ago

Lie about the little things that don't really matter. Forgot to do something but it shouldn't take long? Tell me you're just getting around to it or just got it done. Did I ask you to grab something but you didn't look? Tell me you couldn't find it.

These are inconsequential lies that don't hurt and doesn't invent a reality that has to be remembered. There is such a thing as too much honesty

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MrOtingocni 2 points 2 days ago

That's a really good take.

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ArgumentativeMonotheist 1 point a day ago

When it's irrelevant with regards to external reality, has no negative consequences, and it's done for the sake of my peace of mind/happiness. Lying has a time and a place, it's just a very very small one.

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susieq0044 1 point 2 days ago

Sexual performance.

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7uWqKj 1 point 2 days ago

None of course. What’s wrong with you?

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Zwuzelmaus 1 point 2 days ago

When the ONS calls afterwards and says she's pregnant.

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yermaw 0 points 2 days ago

Afterlife as a child. Lie to me a day about that. You can either tell me that when dogs get very poorly they go to a farm far far away and they're happy, or you can tell me they're wormfood.

Give me the lie.

I'm not hearing it now that im an adult. Nobody knows so pick your favourite flavour of bollocks, but as a child, give me that sweet bullshit.

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Crackhappy 3 points 2 days ago

I was lied to as a child by everyone around me about death, heaven, etc but I never believed it. I didn't even know there was a word for my skepticism until I was a teenager.

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