Sexophone, it's in the name

Alternatively, tromboner

Mayonnaise

Drum, cause you know you wanna hit that.

your mom can make fine music if played right

Flute, no debate

The tuba

!It's the only one I can fuck!<

Kazoo.

The piccolo

Violin.

First, its shape.

Second, I used to watch my girlfriend play it and the passion was intense.

I looked for a performance that isn't an "influencer" prancing about to generate views, of which there are many; something more honest.

https://youtu.be/POaPRTL7fuM

Harmonica. Specifically when you have an old griselled cowboy playing it around a fire on a cold windy night in 1832.

harmonica because when you play one you're just blowin' and suckin'. it makes you feel sexy

Your mom

I don't know about instrument specifically, but have you seen Rachmaninoff's hands? Sign me up!

Jokes aside, probably something basic like piano for the range and smacking capabilities of those hammers. I saw that one Tom and Jerry episode so many times growing up!

The Death Whistle