Bro thought the birth of Slannesh was a real story.
Lemmygizer 28 points 3 years ago
unoriginalsin 28 points 3 years ago
"Found my new Tinder bio"
-- Allen Ginsburg
It would certainly appear so.
NoStressyJessie 94 points 3 years ago
If you want to see a parody of sex, just go, Google search “soaking” and “jump humping”. Purity culture ends up in some weird places.
NoStressyJessie 28 points 3 years ago
I assume you were trying to reply to me.
In some parts of christian purity culture, specifically for mormons allegedly, they think it's a big no no to have sex before marriage. They've come up with loopholes to avoid actually having sex but come as close to it as possible. Soaking is when you penetrate someone and just let it sit there with no movement. Allegedly on the BYU college campus, it is popular to go "soaking" while a friend of yours jumps on the bed nearby you to create the sensation of motion, this act is called "jump humping".
tourist 28 points 3 years ago
I am unfortunately already cursed with the knowledge of that concept.
What do you think their plans are when they get to heaven? Do they think god will be chill with premarital sex due to a technicality? The ridiculous hubris of believing you can fucking debate a deity and win.
Also, I was doing a breaking bad pseudo-reference. Different jesse
NoStressyJessie 16 points 3 years ago
Yeah, whooshed for sure.
Frankly, I have no idea what the majority of modern American Evangelical style christians are going to do when and if they end up in front of their deity, because everything I've read and studied is pretty contrary to most of the modern Christian Political talking points. Jesus was very against the types of people christians today have become, Jesus certainly wouldn't have advocated for taking over Rome to become the new oppressors. These same folks believe the book of revelations is going to happen but they can't fathom being a part of the body of the great whore of babylon.
banneryear1868 21 points 3 years ago
Okay so I grew up, immersed, in Christian purity culture...
Soaking is tantric, but the friend jumping?! These Christians actually make themselves way hornier than the average person... I remember my first Christian gf thought it was a sin to be made to cum, so she would just have me edge her for like hours at a time until she spontaneously orgasmed with no stimulation. Was actually hot af and some of this stuff I carried on to more normal relationships.
Christian girls also hated the idea of me masturbating after they got me aroused so they would weirdly do whatever it took to get me off, as long as it wasn't PIV it was basically fair game. I got used to these really weird/kinky workarounds they'd come up with and it probably made me a deviant. Once at Jesus Camp a girl wanted me to finger her under the blankets at campfire and she came while a dude was crying at the mic giving his emotional testimony. So many fucked up stories like this.
Ioughttamow 13 points 3 years ago
It’s a breaking bad reference/meme
synae 1 point 3 years ago
Great explanation for anyone who doesn't know, but today is your day to learn something too!
HopingForBetter 52 points 3 years ago
Does anybody know where these literal sexual demons are?
Because I want to avoid those places extra hard.
Introversion 20 points 3 years ago
Extra hard, eh? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more!
SharkEatingBreakfast 48 points 3 years ago
That's a whole lotta words just to say "Nobody wants to have sex with me."
SuddenDownpour 45 points 3 years ago
This is certainly one of the most comments of all time
Jimmyeatsausage 35 points 3 years ago
Sir, this is a Wendy's...
Ghostalmedia 8 points 3 years ago
Technically the truth for 2022 Twitter.
FoundTheVegan 25 points 3 years ago
Laughs in sober asexual transexual
🤣 😂 🤣
I mean it's funny how little these peoole understand the issues they are so passionate to talk about.
Semi-Hemi-Demigod 22 points 3 years ago
If marijuana made people trans we’d have Wilhelmina Nelson
Introversion 21 points 3 years ago
Well, those were words..l
GlitterInfection 10 points 3 years ago
Some of them were.
SnotFlickerman 19 points 3 years ago
This guy is channeling the writer of Reefer Madness.
banneryear1868 19 points 3 years ago
This got me wet
100_kg_90_de_belin 17 points 3 years ago
CobblerScholar 16 points 3 years ago
Somebody found a thesaurus
DreamerofDays 14 points 3 years ago
Frysquint.gif
Can’t tell if serious or parody…
bbpolterGAYst 6 points 3 years ago
unfortunately, it is serious
i made the mistake of going on the posters account
DreamerofDays 2 points 3 years ago
Hooboy. I am sorry, and thank you for your service <3
FirstMajesticComet 12 points 3 years ago
I think this person has been on way too many drugs (ones much harder than weed).
funkless_eck 11 points 3 years ago
a "monstrum" is a "warning" - so a warning incarnate would be, what, the super nanny?
germanatlas 10 points 3 years ago
This sounds metal af
conneru64 4 points 3 years ago
He's got it all wrong, the quantum fluctuations in the flux capacitor prove with 99.84859% certainty that time crystals oscillate at a resonant frequency of the speed of light with hydrogen chloride. It's quite simple, really, I can't believe he's so wrong.
196
@lemmy.blahaj.zone
19651
19236
2009
Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.
Rule: You must post before you leave.
Other rules
Behavior rules:
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NSFW: NSFW content is permitted but it must be tagged and have content warnings. Anything that doesn't adhere to this will be removed. Content warnings should be added like: [penis], [explicit description of sex]. Non-sexualized breasts of any gender are not considered inappropriate and therefore do not need to be blurred/tagged.
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196
@lemmy.blahaj.zone
19651
19236
2009
Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.
Rule: You must post before you leave.
Other rules
Behavior rules:
- No bigotry (transphobia, racism, etc…)
- No genocide denial
- No support for authoritarian behaviour (incl. Tankies)
- No namecalling
- Accounts from lemmygrad.ml, threads.net, or hexbear.net are held to higher standards
- Other things seen as cleary bad
Posting rules:
- No AI generated content (DALL-E etc…)
- No advertisements
- No gore / violence
- Mutual aid posts are not allowed
NSFW: NSFW content is permitted but it must be tagged and have content warnings. Anything that doesn't adhere to this will be removed. Content warnings should be added like: [penis], [explicit description of sex]. Non-sexualized breasts of any gender are not considered inappropriate and therefore do not need to be blurred/tagged.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact us on our matrix channel or email.
Other 196's:
go to feed...
Found my new Tinder bio
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