TerrificTadpole 123 points 2 years ago

Everyone was having a fish party so I grabbed my fish fork but once I arrived I realized I had grabbed my pastry fork instead. Everyone laughed at me. "Want a fish pie?" they kept asking. "Want a fish pie?"

God, I'm so embarrassed. I wish I had seen this chart sooner.

path: 0 10685484, hotness: undefined, score: 123, children: 6
WhyDoYouPersist 36 points 2 years ago

You really made me feel like I was there, laughing at you like the rest

path: 0 10685484 10685885, hotness: undefined, score: 36, children: 0
ElderReflections 21 points 2 years ago

Forks at the ready Stargazy Pie

path: 0 10685484 10686962, hotness: undefined, score: 21, children: 1
ValenThyme 1 point 2 years ago
path: 0 10685484 10686962 10701225, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Jimbo 6 points 2 years ago

Damn, I want a fish pie now

path: 0 10685484 10685596, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
ininewcrow 3 points 2 years ago

But what happens when you are served a seafood dessert made with fruit and fish?

The Masterson's will have a bit of a tizzy when it comes to hosting next months neighborhood afternoon soiree. I'm sure the Jefferson's will have a chuckle at the end of the meal.

path: 0 10685484 10686329, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
dogsnest 1 point 2 years ago path: 0 10685484 10686081, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
s_s 42 points 2 years ago

Fine dining is so weird.

path: 0 10685671, hotness: undefined, score: 42, children: 6
starchylemming 22 points 2 years ago

fine dining can go fork off

path: 0 10685671 10686356, hotness: undefined, score: 22, children: 0
ininewcrow 9 points 2 years ago

When appearances and etiquette become more important than the food ..... I'd rather have a box of KD and watch some Netflix in my underwear.

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BCsven 8 points 2 years ago

With what kind of fork tho

path: 0 10685671 10686355 10687035, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 1
ininewcrow 3 points 2 years ago

Fork? .... I'd use the same spoon I used to make the food and eat it straight from the pot to save myself from doing more dishes than I have to.

path: 0 10685671 10686355 10687035 10700091, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Seleni 2 points 2 years ago

Could be worse… could be like the old Japanese fine dining, where you’re just supposed to stare at the food and pretend to eat it.

path: 0 10685671 10686355 10691359, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1
ininewcrow 1 point 2 years ago

I'd commit sudoku

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NoneYa 35 points 2 years ago
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boredsquirrel 1 point 2 years ago

path: 0 10686230 10686318, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Schorsch 0 points 2 years ago

Shrimp is bugs.

path: 0 10686230 10690136, hotness: undefined, score: 0, children: 0
thejoker954 34 points 2 years ago

There's an actual fork for spaghetti!?!

Why have I never seen one before? WTF is this conspiracy?

path: 0 10685548, hotness: undefined, score: 34, children: 12
starchylemming 11 points 2 years ago

I've been to many italian establishments and have never seen them. probably just a gimmick nobody knows about

path: 0 10685548 10686370, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 0
Chip_Rat 5 points 2 years ago

I call BS. Every other fork (even the crab "pick") I can believe it have seen. I do not believe in this.

path: 0 10685548 10689767, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
idiomaddict 5 points 2 years ago

It would be so uncomfortable to use 😬

path: 0 10685548 10685686, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 4
shneancy 4 points 2 years ago

it looks like it needs to go to a fork hospital

just use a fork and a spoon for spaghetti like a normal person

path: 0 10685548 10685686 10685854, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 3
MystikIncarnate 5 points 2 years ago

I still think it's weird using a spoon for spaghetti.

I've seen it done. I get why people do it. I still think it's weird.

Whatever. Be weird. So your thing. As long as it gets the food from the plate to your face, who am I to say it's wrong?

path: 0 10685548 10685686 10685854 10690464, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 2
Dumbkid 1 point 2 years ago

I don't know why people can't just spin their forks and have the spaghetti wrap around? Never seemed like something difficult or requiring extra tools

path: 0 10685548 10685686 10685854 10690464 10692703, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
BCsven 0 points 2 years ago

I have never seen this. italians spin their fork in the spoon to wrap the noodles, seems to work fine. That spaghetti fork would have terrible mouth feel.

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anyhow2503 7 points 2 years ago

I've never seen an italian eat spaghetti with a spoon, but maybe it varies by region.

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MystikIncarnate 3 points 2 years ago

Seems like a common thing in North America. I've seen plenty of people use a spoon to hold the tip of their fork to spin it and ball up spaghetti (and similar noodle pasta).

I'm not even Italian, I think it's weird. Far be it for me to tell anyone how to eat though. So I just shut my mouth and eat my spaghetti, my way.

path: 0 10685548 10687070 10687234 10690433, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
person420 2 points 2 years ago

It's a very Italian American thing. It's not really something you'd see in Italy.

path: 0 10685548 10687070 10687234 10702346, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
BCsven 2 points 2 years ago

Could be, an old Italian guy showed me the spoon as the base and fork as the spinning tool. But yeah maybe it is regional...or like giving white people a fork at an asian place

path: 0 10685548 10687070 10687234 10694423, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
erp 23 points 2 years ago

The list is disappointingly missing many variants, such as:

  1. The Spork (an invention commonly attributed to Samuel W. Francis, but which remains in doubt)
  2. The Knork, from the popular show Knork and Knindy (knanu-knanu)
  3. Neptune's trident (four out of five dentists recommend it)
  4. Cluster fork (as experienced by yours truly at least once per fortnight when production goes down)
  5. The most ancient and purest form of all: the monofork, aka kebap skewer
path: 0 10690107, hotness: undefined, score: 23, children: 1
deezbutts 3 points 2 years ago

The knork was invented by Abraham Lincoln and Gandhi.

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lugal 21 points 2 years ago

Why would you eat a table?

path: 0 10685436, hotness: undefined, score: 21, children: 4
terribletortoise 11 points 2 years ago

Of all the fork shapes, the table fork seems the least useful for its named purpose.

path: 0 10685436 10685523, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 2
Trex202 7 points 2 years ago

All forks are table forks if you put them on the forking table.

path: 0 10685436 10685523 10686272, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
lugal 2 points 2 years ago

With an honorable mention for the cocktail fork. If you don't want to drink it, at least use a spoon

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samus12345 2 points 2 years ago path: 0 10685436 10703466, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
HappycamperNZ 20 points 2 years ago

Hows a crab meant to hold that?

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core 5 points 2 years ago

With both claws.

path: 0 10689140 10689849, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 3
HappycamperNZ 2 points 2 years ago

Nice

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Etterra 2 points 2 years ago

Yeah if it's a little one maybe, but if a crab can one-claw a knife then it can one-claw a fork. He's not a little crablet anymore, Charlene.

path: 0 10689140 10689849 10703553, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1
core 1 point 2 years ago

Crabs come in many sizes and I was trying to be all inclusive. Indeed, some can one claw a fork, but others will need to two claw it.

path: 0 10689140 10689849 10703553 10712971, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
davidgro 19 points 2 years ago

Most of those are threeks and twoks. Only a few forks.

path: 0 10685420, hotness: undefined, score: 19, children: 1
deezbutts 3 points 2 years ago

This joke goes hard

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NigelFrobisher 13 points 2 years ago

Where are garden fork and tuning fork?

path: 0 10690030, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 1
tektite 4 points 2 years ago

Better get out your pitchfork

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ieatpwns 10 points 2 years ago

Table fork and salad fork are the same. Change my mind.

path: 0 10686860, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 2
Nollij 3 points 2 years ago

Well yeah, where else would you eat salad? The floor? Everyone knows that's where burgers are served.

path: 0 10686860 10688475, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Crashumbc 2 points 2 years ago

Salad fork is usually slightly smaller, but that's about it.

path: 0 10686860 10692449, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Mango 10 points 2 years ago

I need that spaghetti fork.

path: 0 10691293, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
boredsquirrel 5 points 2 years ago

Italians

  • make weird noodles
  • need strange tools to eat them

South east asians

  • use literal sticks that chop
  • make overcomplicated food that just needs to be grabbed
  • breed special rice that sticks

Germans

  • Spoon go brrr
path: 0 10686296, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 1
MystikIncarnate 2 points 2 years ago

I love sticky rice tho. Just saying.

Those Asians, they had some ideas, let me tell you.

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LynneOfFlowers 5 points 2 years ago path: 0 10695418, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
Atelopus-zeteki 5 points 2 years ago path: 0 10685980, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
MrGG 4 points 2 years ago

I love that all of the responses in here are just forking jokes.

path: 0 10685564, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
zero_spelled_with_an_ecks 3 points 2 years ago

What if I'm having fish salad for dessert?

path: 0 10689048, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
supercargo 3 points 2 years ago

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Etterra 2 points 2 years ago

That is such an underrated movie.

path: 0 10702805 10703504, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1
uid0gid0 2 points 2 years ago

Whenever I'm trying to get people to do something and they are ambivalent I always use the line "I thought I was teamed up with superheroes but I'm stuck here with Lazy Boy and the Recliner!" No one gets it.

path: 0 10702805 10703504 10704407, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
dependencyinjection 2 points 2 years ago

Seriously what’s the point.

How is a salad fork any better than a commoner fork for a salad.

The same for most of these.

path: 0 10703593, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
OhmsLawn 2 points 2 years ago

Are the extra-thick tines on the fish and pie forks for cutting?

path: 0 10686339, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Etterra 1 point 2 years ago

Alternatively:

  • Spork
  • The little one with two prongs
  • No the other little one with two prongs
  • The one with 3 prongs
  • The wibbledy one
  • The one that looks like a staple puller
  • The bbq fork/turkey carving one
  • The normal fork
  • The normal but 3 prongs fork
  • The other normal fork
  • The smaller normal but 3 prongs fork
  • The tiny stabby one
  • That weird little one where the tips hate each other
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ripcord 1 point 2 years ago

This is truly a cool guide.

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