Happy Birthday

2 years ago by Sjmarf to c/lemmyshitpost

SilentObserver 102 points 2 years ago

2022 years ago? So this must be Christ reincarnated.

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Lost_My_Mind 67 points 2 years ago

No no. Jesus was born on 0AD. This kid was born on 2AD. Jesus would have been 2 years old, so he hadn't yet died.

Whats more concerning, is this is being posted by one of the kids parents. Which means THEY were born sometime in BCE. Which means they were alive and old enough to have kids when Jesus was born.

WHY ARE THEY NOT REVEALING THEIR TRICKS OF IMMORTALITY????

And also, why are they threatening their kids life?

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boonhet 16 points 2 years ago

I thought Jesus was born a few years after his official birth year though?

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Lost_My_Mind 13 points 2 years ago

About 34 years later, yeah. But it was also 40 days after his death. Making Jesus a zombie. Or, alternatively, it makes religion as a whole self admitted bullshit. Your call, christians.

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PeriodicallyPedantic 5 points 2 years ago

There are other options besides those two, like not having accurate historical records to know the actual date of birth and death, so that there are lots of conflicting accounts.

I agree that religion in general is a crock used by charlatans to control people.
But I suspect that this isn't the gotcha you think it is, especially because I don't think that the precise dates really matter to the religion.

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Archer 4 points 2 years ago

What? No, Jesus was a Lich

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blackris 9 points 2 years ago

A small correction and „fun fact“: there is no year zero. 1 BC is followed by 1 AD. Consequently things like the turn of the millennium happen a year after we celebrate them. But people found that weird.

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Buddahriffic 0 points 2 years ago

Sounds like that just means 0 AD = 1 BC rather than there not being a 0 AD. Could have -1000 AD, too.

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pyre 2 points 2 years ago

that's ISO. if you're putting the AD, 0 is not valid. the BC is specifically there because -AD isn't a thing.

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lugal 6 points 2 years ago

The disturbing answer to both of your questions is drinking blood of children keeps you young. It's all about adrenochrome and you can but shouldn't google it

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Lost_My_Mind 9 points 2 years ago

So THAT'S why republicans want to ban abortion, and why mitch mcconnell just WON'T die already.

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lugal 2 points 2 years ago

"We will raise your kid", sure you will "raise" them

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ulterno 0 points 2 years ago

adrenochrome

Several small-scale studies (involving 15 or fewer test subjects) conducted in the 1950s and 1960s reported that adrenochrome triggered psychotic reactions such as thought disorder and derealization

Interesting. This is probably what makes people, who would normally not kill or do other horrible acts, to do so in conditions of extreme distress and then later have a feeling of it never have actually happened, making them still be able to live life with about the same personality as before.

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lugal 2 points 2 years ago

It's long debunked and today a conspiracy theory

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ulterno 2 points 2 years ago

And also, why are they threatening their kids life?

Probably some Biblical mumbo-jumbo.

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Lost_My_Mind 2 points 2 years ago

I've never seen a post with zero upvotes.....did you un-upvote your own post???

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ulterno 0 points 2 years ago

Yes, that's possible to do.

You can even downvote your own post. Like here

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Kolanaki 80 points 2 years ago

Damn. That kid is fucking oooooold!

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wesker 97 points 2 years ago

His days are numbered, though.

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JackbyDev 3 points 2 years ago

I mean, if he's 2022 years old he probably doesn't have much time left. 💔

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ulterno 0 points 2 years ago

That's a pretty big number, though.

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henfredemars 30 points 2 years ago

He looks so young for his age.

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ignotum 6 points 2 years ago

He doesn't look a day past 80

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Blackout 50 points 2 years ago

When you're least expecting it... I will be there. Watch your back... for the tickle monster. And his knife... of love

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Agent641 4 points 2 years ago

Sounds like a detective Pimento quote

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tyler 38 points 2 years ago

Might not be a native English speaker.

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unemployedclaquer 3 points 2 years ago

I am fairly certain math and time are well understood concepts in non- English speaking cultures

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Cryophilia 15 points 2 years ago

Idioms and phrasing in English are not.

What's the literal meaning of "his days are numbered"?

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nickiwest 2 points 2 years ago

There are multiple references to this in the Bible. This is the most uplifting one I found.

Psalm 90

10 Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

11 If only we knew the power of your anger! Your wrath is as great as the fear that is your due.

12 Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

13 Relent, LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants.

14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

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Cryophilia -1 points 2 years ago

You think a person who doesn't speak English has read the Bible in English?

What's the literal meaning of the words?

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BlackDragon 0 points 2 years ago

It means that you can place a specific number on the number of days left in a person's life? I'm not sure I understand the question because the meaning of this one is pretty easy to see. Normally it is unclear when your death will be, but if someone tells you that your days are numbered they are implying that they possess the exact knowledge of what number of days you have left to live. They don't usually mean that literally but the literal meaning is pretty clear.

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Cryophilia 2 points 2 years ago

It means that you can place a specific number on the number of days left in a person’s life?

Or the number of days since their birth? That's the simpler explanation.

"Those apples are numbered" = "we know how many apples there are right now"

If you don't know the context, you could easily assume that's the meaning.

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Mordred_85 -45 points 2 years ago

Could be right, but there’s google translate. If he’s posting in English seldom then better use it.

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NateSwift 72 points 2 years ago

If he’s posting in English seldom then better use it

The irony of being a dick about someone’s English and fucking it up yourself

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SendMePhotos 0 points 2 years ago

I did not attain negative vibe from that post.

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Mordred_85 -14 points 2 years ago

Hey, it checks on google translate. I’m no English speaking either

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PeriodicallyPedantic 11 points 2 years ago

Yeah, Google translate doesn't actually work well. If you can speak any English, it's probably better to do it yourself, even if it's not your first language

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kambusha 11 points 2 years ago

I believe that's a threat sandwich.

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Mordred_85 7 points 2 years ago

Poor boy, in addiction to have a questionable reasoning father now he’s on Lemmyshitpost and who knows where else. That adds up to the senile problems

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feedum_sneedson 15 points 2 years ago

You said "in addiction".

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AutomaticUpdates 16 points 2 years ago

Who isn't

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Rolando 1 point 2 years ago

Chazz : Mind-bottling, isn't it?

Jimmy : Did you just say mind-bottling?

Chazz : Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?

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Mordred_85 11 points 2 years ago

Plus his father his making not so veiled treaths to his life.

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wesker 11 points 2 years ago

Are you treathening me?

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Mordred_85 3 points 2 years ago

Don’t know, I’m just counting someone days

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Anyolduser 6 points 2 years ago

Lolwut

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raspberriesareyummy 5 points 2 years ago

2+0-2+2 - checks out.

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troglodytis 5 points 2 years ago

Jesus!

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