Soothe away tensions

2 years ago by plumbercraic to c/theyknew

SARGE 89 points 2 years ago
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dutchkimble 14 points 2 years ago

In India they’re still advertised exactly like this

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avieshek 3 points 2 years ago

Lmao, Amazon India (≧∀≦)

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Dasus 9 points 2 years ago path: 0 14198498 14199335, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 10
glimse 3 points 2 years ago

Video is geoblocked but I'm assuming that's a hole for carrying your axe close to your groin?

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Dasus 4 points 2 years ago

Video is geoblocked

Wild guess, are you from the UK? Pretty much all QI full episodes are available on YT on random channel but they always have something like "not available in the UK" in the titles.

It's an "electric jockstrap"

I'm gonna paste subtitles from that part. I tries editing the numbers away a bit but then couldn't be arsed

00:06:52,786 --> 00:06:56,026 explain how an electric jockstrap works. 126 00:06:57,586 --> 00:07:00,306 Is there going to be a demonstration? 127 00:07:00,306 --> 00:07:01,857 Do you know, I kind of wish there were. 128 00:07:01,881 --> 00:07:04,244 - Is that what this is? - No. 129 00:07:07,268 --> 00:07:10,426 - That's what this is. - Is it a warming thing, or...? 130 00:07:10,426 --> 00:07:13,106 An electric anything takes us into a period of time. 131 00:07:13,106 --> 00:07:16,146 - Galvanism. It's Victorian, galvanism. - Galvan, exactly. 132 00:07:16,146 --> 00:07:18,626 Everybody thought electricity would cure everything, 133 00:07:18,626 --> 00:07:21,146 stimulate everything and achieve everything. 134 00:07:21,146 --> 00:07:23,826 And so at the back of every newspaper there was an electrical 135 00:07:23,826 --> 00:07:27,626 something, a galvanic bath, but these were electric jockstraps. 136 00:07:27,626 --> 00:07:30,466 Well, presumably, because they had all sorts of things to stop boys 137 00:07:30,466 --> 00:07:32,506 playing with themselves, it must have been... 138 00:07:32,506 --> 00:07:35,266 That would stop you, wouldn't it? It would stop you, wouldn't it? 139 00:07:35,266 --> 00:07:38,026 - If you had a shock in your pants. - No, I'm thinking it might be nice. 140 00:07:38,026 --> 00:07:38,881 - Yes. - Oh, really? 141 00:07:38,905 --> 00:07:40,946 You're spot on. We men know that. 142 00:07:42,506 --> 00:07:45,506 Because there are certain code words in Victorian English. 143 00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:49,626 "Nervous and general debility, lost vigour, decline, 144 00:07:49,626 --> 00:07:52,186 and the whole train of gloomy attendants," 145 00:07:52,186 --> 00:07:54,706 was standard code for impotence. 146 00:07:54,706 --> 00:07:58,226 Enter the Heidelberg electric belt. 147 00:07:58,226 --> 00:08:00,506 There it is. 148 00:08:00,506 --> 00:08:02,306 - It's a bit high up, isn't it? - Yes. 149 00:08:02,306 --> 00:08:03,626 Oh, I see, so actually there's the thing down there. 150 00:08:03,626 --> 00:08:08,186 That's really kind of buzzing away in the important area. 151 00:08:08,186 --> 00:08:12,066 And that is actually going to cause you to, well, I'm afraid 152 00:08:12,066 --> 00:08:16,546 the phrase is probably embarrassing, they advise "seminal economy". 153 00:08:16,546 --> 00:08:18,700 - They're advising against... - Is that with easyJet? 154 00:08:18,724 --> 00:08:19,466 Yeah. 155 00:08:21,146 --> 00:08:22,306 They're advising against 156 00:08:22,306 --> 00:08:26,786 "wantonly jettisoning too much nervous substance." 157 00:08:26,786 --> 00:08:29,426 - Which basically... - Is that what they called it? 158 00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:32,786 That's code for semen. In other words, it's essentially a sex toy. 159 00:08:32,786 --> 00:08:34,786 - "Wantonly jettisoning." - It is... 160 00:08:34,786 --> 00:08:38,306 Don't wantonly jettison your nervous substance. 161 00:08:38,306 --> 00:08:40,786 I like the idea of nervous semen just coming out going... 162 00:08:43,186 --> 00:08:46,066 He's quite camp. Perhaps he's having problems with his virility 163 00:08:46,066 --> 00:08:49,666 - cos he's sleeping with the wrong sex. - Well, it might be that. 164 00:08:49,666 --> 00:08:53,066 But there genuinely was an item, as you can see, hugely advertised, 165 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,546 there were lots of different... 166 00:08:54,546 --> 00:09:00,090 So is it designed then to lift the dormant chap or to de-nervify the semen? 167 00:09:00,114 --> 00:09:02,266 It's basically designed saying, 168 00:09:02,266 --> 00:09:05,786 "Would you like to enjoy the experience of a little bit 169 00:09:05,786 --> 00:09:08,826 of a tingling down there that maybe has disappeared?" 170 00:09:08,826 --> 00:09:10,226 But it probably was just like, 171 00:09:10,226 --> 00:09:12,506 "That's a damn good thing to take to a hotel room." 172 00:09:12,506 --> 00:09:14,141 Why have they gone out of fashion? 173 00:09:14,165 --> 00:09:16,186 - I know. - Are these still for sale? 174 00:09:16,186 --> 00:09:18,946 I feel like if Ann Summers did them, you could see, 175 00:09:18,946 --> 00:09:21,706 not in the upstairs bit, the downstairs bit of Ann Summers... 176 00:09:21,706 --> 00:09:22,846 Tell me about this, Jason, because I... 177 00:09:22,846 --> 00:09:25,026 Upstairs is like, just like chocolate willies and that. 178 00:09:25,026 --> 00:09:28,586 Downstairs... Someone's going to get hurt, Stephen. 179 00:09:31,346 --> 00:09:33,378 Really? I've never been in an Ann Summers. 180 00:09:33,402 --> 00:09:34,586 That's weird. You'd think it would be 181 00:09:34,586 --> 00:09:36,020 the other way round, you'd have to go upstairs in order to... 182 00:09:36,044 --> 00:09:38,307 No, you come in at ground floor level. 183 00:09:38,331 --> 00:09:40,546 I'm only going off our nearest 12 branches. 184 00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:42,186 Yes, right. 185 00:09:43,306 --> 00:09:45,506 But, yeah, that's the normal one. 186 00:09:45,506 --> 00:09:47,666 And then you sort of pop downstairs, you know, anniversary, or whatever... Good gracious. But the other thing about that is you got ten days' free trial. 189 Wow! 190 I don't know if you can see, but it's actually printed there. 191 What if you send it back and it goes to somebody else? 192 That's what I'm worried about with the free trial. 193 I know, exactly. You're using a used one. 194 It is going to get much more acceptable and decent this programme, I promise you, as we move on.

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nightofmichelinstars 9 points 2 years ago

I threw some regex at it. It's not perfect.

explain how an electric jockstrap works. Is there going to be a demonstration? Do you know, I kind of wish there were. - Is that what this is? - No. - That's what this is. - Is it a warming thing, or...? An electric anything takes us into a period of time. - Galvanism. It's Victorian, galvanism. - Galvan, exactly. Everybody thought electricity would cure everything, stimulate everything and achieve everything. And so at the back of every newspaper there was an electrical something, a galvanic bath, but these were electric jockstraps. Well, presumably, because they had all sorts of things to stop boys playing with themselves, it must have been... That would stop you, wouldn't it? It would stop you, wouldn't it? - If you had a shock in your pants. - No, I'm thinking it might be nice. - Yes. - Oh, really? You're spot on. We men know that. Because there are certain code words in Victorian English. "Nervous and general debility, lost vigour, decline, and the whole train of gloomy attendants," was standard code for impotence. Enter the Heidelberg electric belt. There it is. - It's a bit high up, isn't it? - Yes. Oh, I see, so actually there's the thing down there. That's really kind of buzzing away in the important area. And that is actually going to cause you to, well, I'm afraid the phrase is probably embarrassing, they advise "seminal economy". - They're advising against... - Is that with easyJet? Yeah. They're advising against "wantonly jettisoning too much nervous substance." - Which basically... - Is that what they called it? That's code for semen. In other words, it's essentially a sex toy. - "Wantonly jettisoning." - It is... Don't wantonly jettison your nervous substance. I like the idea of nervous semen just coming out going... He's quite camp. Perhaps he's having problems with his virility - cos he's sleeping with the wrong sex. - Well, it might be that. But there genuinely was an item, as you can see, hugely advertised, there were lots of different... So is it designed then to lift the dormant chap or to de-nervify the semen? It's basically designed saying, "Would you like to enjoy the experience of a little bit of a tingling down there that maybe has disappeared?" But it probably was just like, "That's a damn good thing to take to a hotel room." Why have they gone out of fashion? - I know. - Are these still for sale? I feel like if Ann Summers did them, you could see, not in the upstairs bit, the downstairs bit of Ann Summers... Tell me about this, Jason, because I... Upstairs is like, just like chocolate willies and that. Downstairs... Someone's going to get hurt, Stephen. Really? I've never been in an Ann Summers. That's weird. You'd think it would be the other way round, you'd have to go upstairs in order to... No, you come in at ground floor level. I'm only going off our nearest 12 branches. Yes, right. But, yeah, that's the normal one. And then you sort of pop downstairs, you know, anniversary, or whatever... Good gracious. But the other thing about that is you got ten days' free trial. 189 Wow! 190 I don't know if you can see, but it's actually printed there. 191 What if you send it back and it goes to somebody else? 192 That's what I'm worried about with the free trial. 193 I know, exactly. You're using a used one. 194 It is going to get much more acceptable and decent this programme, I promise you, as we move on.

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Zagorath 2 points 2 years ago

Blocked in Australia by Fremantle International.

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Sibbo 74 points 2 years ago

Contoured to use comfortably around eyes, brows, chin and other parts of the body

Wasn't this supposed to be a facial massager, sir?

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ByteMe 65 points 2 years ago

Gentle, penetrating massage

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SanctimoniousApe 43 points 2 years ago

"...About seven inches long..."

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illi 13 points 2 years ago

High impact plastic...

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Zugyuk 10 points 2 years ago

Perfect size for most "purses"

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Agent641 4 points 2 years ago

Ok buddy sure

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otter 10 points 2 years ago

What is "Overheard in the ED more often than anyone'd like to know"?

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Kit 42 points 2 years ago

Two C batteries? That thing is a beast.

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SanctimoniousApe 37 points 2 years ago

Nah, things were much less energy efficient back then.

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takeda 25 points 2 years ago

I actually wish more devices used C and D batteries as those last longer.

I especially hate when a device uses AAA batteries when AA would easily fit.

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Graphy 24 points 2 years ago

My stylus uses AAAA batteries which was the same exact sound I made when AAAs didn’t fit inside.

Also fun fact inside of a 9V is a bunch of AAAAs you can pop out because who the fuck keeps AAAAs on hand

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ByteJunk 14 points 2 years ago

What?? I refuse to believe the blocky 9V is just a few AAAAs in a trenchcoat.

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shalafi 6 points 2 years ago

Last few I've pulled apart contained a stack of 6 oblong, coin shaped batteries. Disappoint.

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J4g2F 1 point 2 years ago

D batteries are fine, but C batteries are not common here. We have 2 cat feeders that use 4 C batteries. If they are empty I need to order new ones on the interwebs, they just don't have them in stores here. We now have same spare of course. But pretty annoying the first time.

But maybe if they are just in more stuff I can buy them in a store here.

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takeda 1 point 2 years ago

I have a flashlight that uses 4 C batteries and just purchased a rechargeable ones, could that be an option?

I don't know if this is global phenomenon or just US, but 25 years ago when I lived in Europe C and D batteries were as popular as AA. But yeah, I don't see much of C and D in local US stores.

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frezik 4 points 2 years ago

Not really. Things don't magically get better just because time has passed. Efficiency reaches a plateau, and the laws of thermodynamics prevent any further improvements.

Since it's a battery operated device, they're almost certainly using brushed motors. Those are less efficient than brushless, but brushed DC motors are cheap and easy to run from a DC source. The complex electronics to run brushless motors only got cheap in the last decade or so, and there's still plenty of sex toy vibrators that use brushed because it's easy and doesn't take much space in the device.

The difference isn't even that big. About 75-80% efficient for brushed, and 85-90% efficient for brushless. The extra complication of electronics isn't always worthwhile even today. The basic mechanics of this stuff was invented over a century ago and was all but perfected decades before OP's advertisement ever existed. It can't be better than 100% efficiency, and it's already pretty close to that. Unless someone comes up with a really clever design that gets brushless efficiency with little to no additional electronics, there's not much improvement to be seen.

Batteries, OTOH, have improved by leaps since then.

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SanctimoniousApe 2 points 2 years ago

Interesting information, ty - my electrical knowledge is pretty minimal, basic, and spotty AF since it's almost entirely self-taught. Only slightly more than those who know nothing, I guess.

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brlemworld 3 points 2 years ago

I think they meant girthy

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DavidGarcia 15 points 2 years ago

In case madame needs to pour some concrete in a pinch and has to remove any air bubbles

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takeda 4 points 2 years ago

Actually not really. Even the D type batteries would have smaller circumference than the average.

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swab148 6 points 2 years ago

Average sized cylinder

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Kit 3 points 2 years ago

I meant more in terms of longevity.

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SanctimoniousApe 0 points 2 years ago
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jaschen 4 points 2 years ago

The size of the battery only adds capacity, not power. You gotta increase voltage.

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frezik 3 points 2 years ago

It also increases the amount of current you can draw from the battery at once (the C rating).

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jaschen 1 point 2 years ago

Would increase current increase the motors intensity? I guess the motor speed wouldn't increase, but when you start using the motor, the current would help sustain the speed.

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frezik 1 point 2 years ago

To increase current, you have to either increase voltage or decrease the overall resistance of a circuit. For changing resistance of motors, that usually means changing the windings. Meaning it's a matter of part selection during design.

What that means is that when they chose a motor, they needed to take into account the C rating of typical batteries available at the time.

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MeatPilot 36 points 2 years ago

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ICastFist 3 points 2 years ago

The women's faces, just 👨‍🍳😚👌

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threelonmusketeers 3 points 2 years ago

"Bemused interest", "uncomfortable disapproval", "DEATH STARE".

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tetris11 2 points 2 years ago path: 0 14199362 14216370, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
athairmor 29 points 2 years ago

I feel bad for the people who bought them and never thought to use them anywhere other than their face.

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eran_morad 26 points 2 years ago
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iamdefinitelyoverthirteen 12 points 2 years ago

Gentle penetrating massage.

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SanctimoniousApe 6 points 2 years ago

I dunno if I'd chance it - I heard you can poke your eye out with one of those things...

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iamdefinitelyoverthirteen 5 points 2 years ago

Nah, it penetrates gently. It's in the advert.

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ByteMe 19 points 2 years ago

All I see is that it costs 4,99

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SanctimoniousApe 19 points 2 years ago path: 0 14196923 14197007, hotness: undefined, score: 19, children: 0
mosiacmango 12 points 2 years ago

Im guessing the year is 1970. That $5 is equivalent to $31 now.

Bought right for a cheap, but otherwise quality vibrator.

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frezik 7 points 2 years ago

There are Aliexpress vibrators roughly that price right now. They probably break right away, and the plastic is questionable to insert into the human body, but they exist.

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Chocrates 7 points 2 years ago

Plastic from that era probably has the same descriptors.

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danekrae 15 points 2 years ago

It would sure be traumatizing, if I just remembered finding this facial massager with a bunch of oddly interesting magazines next to my parents bed, when I was a young boy...

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meyotch 14 points 2 years ago

Sure would be. It was traumatizing enough asking my mother what a minstrel is, and getting a detailed explanation of menstruation instead. Too soon, mom!

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prole 6 points 2 years ago

LOL

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DarkSpectrum 14 points 2 years ago

wife-hack of the 50s

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djsoren19 8 points 2 years ago

Sorry, I'm so American that the only thing I can see is a bullet.

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AnUnusualRelic 7 points 2 years ago

Do we still have products that use completely different advertising on purpose like this ?

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Pickle_Jr 14 points 2 years ago

I think the Hitachi Magic Wand advertises (or rather used to advertise the last time I looked at it) itself as a muscle massager and doesn't mention anything sexual.

But it's probably the most popular wand vibrator people use

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ILikeTraaaains 3 points 2 years ago

Because it was created and sold as a massager not a sex toy and it wasn’t intended to be used in anything sex related, but people used it for sex stuff and it is what popularised the product.

Hitachi rebranded it dropping the company name from the product.

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Aurora_TheFirstLight 2 points 2 years ago

I think, uh, I think that is actually a muscle massager

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myrrh 3 points 2 years ago
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frezik 2 points 2 years ago

I've used it as an actual muscle massager when I slept wrong and my back is twisted up. It does an alright job, but there's probably a better design out there.

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Eyekaytee 1 point 2 years ago

sure, women enjoy using it on one particular muscle between their legs

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tacosanonymous 5 points 2 years ago

I’m pretty sure I bought a baby blue one for my gf 18 years ago.

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Today 5 points 2 years ago

Possible explanation for my husband's "don't chip your teeth" jokes?

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PumaStoleMyBluff 3 points 2 years ago

Imagine being out to brunch and your good Christian Judy whips out a vibrator and nonchalantly goes to town on her face

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LovableSidekick 1 point 2 years ago

Specially ribbed to get rid of those awful frown lines.

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MonkderVierte 1 point 2 years ago
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