How long is a meter? (Only weird answers/definitions allowed)

a year ago by Petersson to c/asklemmy

E: /stoned

qantravon 44 points a year ago

"The length of the path travelled by light in vacuum during a time interval of ⁠1/299792458⁠ of a second, where the second is defined by a hyperfine transition frequency of caesium."

This is the actual definition, but it's also pretty weird.

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slazer2au 13 points a year ago

And here I thought it was that sick of metal in the wall in France when it is 21 degrees C

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bjoern_tantau 12 points a year ago

They redefined it a few years ago to base all units on some objectively measurable natural constant. Because that stick of metal might still decay or warp or something and you don't always want to travel to France when you want to know the length of a meter. Much easier to measure the atoms and light you have on hand.

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Natanael 5 points a year ago

Updating the kilogram standard took them forever because you need really reliable force measurement instruments and very precise calibration

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Onionguy 3 points a year ago

How many midi-chlorians does 1 meter have tho...

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Peter_Arbeitslos 10 points a year ago

Found the vampire.

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slazer2au 6 points a year ago

Hey, just because I am Australian doesn't mean I am a crime of nature. That is just our animals.

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MojoMcJojo 5 points a year ago

Australia, where even the animals are criminals.

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BastingChemina 3 points a year ago

It was defined as

one ten-millionth of the shortest distance from the North Pole to the equator passing through Paris.

The stick of metal in Paris is just so people don't have to do measure the distance between the north pole and the equator each time they want to check their measuring tool.

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Nemo 41 points a year ago

Like half a dude.

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Peter_Arbeitslos 12 points a year ago

Wednesday dude or normal one?

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Nemo 4 points a year ago

like a Tuesday one

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hoshikarakitaridia 2 points a year ago

Weird frog dude

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Fluffy_Ruffs 2 points a year ago

Some dudes are longer than others.

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Nemo 3 points a year ago

look it's not like there's a titanium standard dude lodged somewhere in a vault in France, but I reckon we all know the difference between a short dude, a long dude, and a metric regular dude

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GeeDubHayduke 2 points a year ago

"I see yer mother's been tellin' ya stories about me ag'in, boy!"

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radix 33 points a year ago

Depends on the meter, dude. There are thermo-meters, speedo-meters, baro-meter...

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victorz 5 points a year ago

You win.

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MyTurtleSwimsUpsideDown 28 points a year ago

Meter‽ We are more than well acquainted.

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Peter_Arbeitslos 14 points a year ago

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chaosCruiser 22 points a year ago

Take a really long rope and put one end on either pole of the Earth, and the other end on the equator. Use the shortest path, and make sure the rope is tight. No squiggles allowed! Chop that rope into exactly 10 000 000 equal parts. One of them is as long as a meter. Now you just need to find the right one.

Edit: more zeros.

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pmk 6 points a year ago

Distance between pole and equator is... 10 km?

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chaosCruiser 2 points a year ago

Good catch. I screwed up the zeros. Fixed it now.

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chaosCruiser 1 point a year ago
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konalt 14 points a year ago

A bit more than 90 centimetres, a bit less than 110. Somewhere in that ballpark.

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Lumidaub 12 points a year ago

Okay, so, right, okay. Um. In German schools (and probably some other countries...?), many many years ago (possibly still today? or maybe it's all digital now? what am I saying, this is German schools), the blackboard in every classroom was a large, green, rectangular middle part and two square "wings", one on each side (as wings are wont to be...). They can swing in and out, providing extra room for writing on the outer side of the wings. Also for extracurricular shenanigans such as writing "[name] + [name] = SEX" in the middle, swinging the wings closed to hide the writing and then breaking out into hysterics when the teacher opens the blackboard to reveal your incredibly highbrow joke.

This type of blackboard is quintessential to my recollections about and concept of school.

Why am I going into such unnecessary detail about this? I have ADHD and possibly autism, I need you to understand what I'm saying and I can't find any sources of this existing in the English speaking world and I can't find an English word for those "wings" either. I can barely find a German one ("Tafelflügel"? I don't think it's ever come up before in my life).

So here's a picture:

Picture of the aforementioned German type blackboard.

The width/height of the "wings" and the height of the middle part, that's a metre. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

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Peter_Arbeitslos 5 points a year ago

Does the metallic edge count as part of the meter too or just the green surface? What if it's so hot the wings expand?

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Lumidaub 3 points a year ago

Just the green. This is special German engineering high-tech space material whose name I absolutely do know but am not at liberty to divulge and that doesn't expand (i.e. I've never experienced a blackboard being warmer than slightly cool to the touch).

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Peter_Arbeitslos 3 points a year ago

Is there an ultimate ancestor of all boards by which you can detemine if your board actually has the correct 1m height? Do we even need such a board if we accept Constructivism?

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Lumidaub 4 points a year ago

Are you... are you putting the word of my primary school teacher into question? How DARE you?!

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Bustedknuckles 11 points a year ago

5 letters

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MyTurtleSwimsUpsideDown 8 points a year ago

‘a meter’

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Peter_Arbeitslos 8 points a year ago

5 = 6 = 1m

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FanciestPants 11 points a year ago

The distance light travels when it goes one meter.

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henfredemars 10 points a year ago

Just about half as twice as much.

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quediuspayu 10 points a year ago

About ten minutes, wait, what was the question?

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RandomStickman 9 points a year ago

The overall length of an M16A4

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Peter_Arbeitslos 9 points a year ago

I didn't even know what a M16A4 is. Some US unit, right?

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mlfh 10 points a year ago

Yes, with the official M16A4 unit being defined as 1/100th the length between the goal lines of an American Football field.

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Chozo 4 points a year ago

It is a very US unit, yes.

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tal 4 points a year ago path: 0 17148276 17148343 17149801, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
RandomStickman 3 points a year ago

You did ask for weird

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Natanael 2 points a year ago

Why does it have a overall on

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Kolanaki 8 points a year ago

About the size of a giant sea turtle.

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Peter_Arbeitslos 7 points a year ago

Is it a cute turtle?

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raoul 2 points a year ago

If it have been cute, it's not a meter long anymore.

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rustyfish 8 points a year ago

Try to piss as far as you can. Now you know how long a meter is.

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Peter_Arbeitslos 3 points a year ago

But how do we measure the lenght? Do we have to find a way which includes the last drop? And what if I don't have a penis?

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rustyfish 5 points a year ago

You piss in the snow to clearly see the pee and the furthest drop counts.

If you don’t have a cock you are free to bring a dick you trust to the measurement. Just make sure to fill the form A38 beforehand and your designated piss officer will give your team green light.

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Peter_Arbeitslos 6 points a year ago

Can some non-German person please fill out the A38 in English without translating a single German word of the A38?

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RBWells 8 points a year ago

Depends on how much money you put in.

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victorz 0 points a year ago

😂👏

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y0kai 7 points a year ago

About twice as long as half of its length

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original_reader 7 points a year ago

Only weird answers?

The truth itself is weird: The meter is defined as the distance that light travels in a vacuum in 1/299,792,458 seconds.

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abbotsbury 7 points a year ago

Powers of ten my ass

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victorz 5 points a year ago

The problem is that the meter is originally defined in terms of the size of the earth, which is in no way related to the speed of light.

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RandomVideos 2 points a year ago

Wasnt it defined using a wrong measurement of the size of the Earth?

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victorz 1 point a year ago

Well yes, but only by a little. It was using ancient measuring techniques which were highly error-prone. Like running from one place to the next and counting the length manually. Shit like that. Still impressively close to the real size!

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Venus_Ziegenfalle 7 points a year ago

3 1/3 Subway sandwiches

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moonlight 6 points a year ago

A bit shorter than a (parking) meter.

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garbagebagel 6 points a year ago

About 4 stacked house cats, or a bit longer than a 3-year-old.

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toofpic 5 points a year ago

Ask...Peter

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Peter_Arbeitslos 2 points a year ago

Peter who?

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toofpic 1 point a year ago

like, Meter Peter. Don't ask me, it just descended on me

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djmikeale 5 points a year ago

The square root of a square meter

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erev 5 points a year ago

take a meter stick, now cut it in half. glue it back together. a meter is probably a little bit longer than this since you lost some material cutting.

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OmegaLemmy 4 points a year ago

Well, meter, like atom meter? Or like gas meter? Anti meter? You need to specify the type of meter.

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FooBarrington 6 points a year ago

Pentameter

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kureta 2 points a year ago

Iambic or dactylic?

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cepelinas 4 points a year ago

5.618 Bananas

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Wazowski 4 points a year ago
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Peter_Arbeitslos 2 points a year ago path: 0 17149168 17149203, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
leaky_shower_thought 4 points a year ago

if the meter is dramatic, could be 5 feet.

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jordanlund 4 points a year ago

Gas meter or water meter?

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S_H_K 4 points a year ago

Take one liter of water at "room temperature" an aprox of 20 Celcuis degrees at one atmosfere pressure. Take a straight transparent tube of one centimeter inner thickness. Put the water in without spilling.

Measue...

A meter...

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groet 2 points a year ago

That's wrong. The tube has a cross section of 0.25π cm² so your tube will be filled ~1,2732m high.

Also as others have stated, if you can measure 1cm you already have a definition of a Meter.

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Natanael 1 point a year ago

Accidentally measured diagonally, now what

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Saleh 2 points a year ago

you will have measured 1.00005 meters (sqrt(1+0.01²)), assuming your eyes are the best in the world.

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kureta 1 point a year ago

how am I supposed to measure the inner thickness?

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Treczoks 4 points a year ago

About this long holds palms one meter apart.

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Droggelbecher 4 points a year ago

The distance that light travels in about a three hundred millionth of a second. Wait, that's just the actual definition.

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Tinks 4 points a year ago

About the length of a golden retriever

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Smokeydope 4 points a year ago

About a yard

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Peter_Arbeitslos 4 points a year ago

I think we can agree there are large and short meters. So everyone is right.

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Nikls94 4 points a year ago

Hold one arm on your body and stretch the other one to your side. Now make your wrists/hands point forward. This is a meter.

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Chozo 4 points a year ago

It is exactly one half of two meters.

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lengau 3 points a year ago

About as wide as my oversized fridge.

Can't wait to get rid of that shit and have something that actually fits in my kitchen.

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besselj 3 points a year ago

About 0.59 Smoots

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Zwuzelmaus 3 points a year ago

Five traditional sausages in a row.

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Peter_Arbeitslos 2 points a year ago

Traditional in which country?

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Zwuzelmaus 5 points a year ago

Franken selbstverständlich. Fränkische Bratwürste.

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Peter_Arbeitslos 3 points a year ago

Which part of Franken?

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Toes 3 points a year ago

approximately 1.06 × 10⁻⁷ nanolightyears

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NONE_dc 3 points a year ago

Enough thread for 10 to 15 stitches.

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Bishma 3 points a year ago

3 feet + a snickers bar

Or if I feel the need to be rude toward a man: 3 feet + your penis

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GusTheBard 3 points a year ago

The distance between the first line in a hopscotch game and where I would put the top line of the [4, 5] block.

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RememberTheApollo_ 3 points a year ago

Same length as a string.

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letsgo 3 points a year ago

My meter is about six inches by three (from memory). It measures voltage (both AC and DC) and current.

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GeeDubHayduke 3 points a year ago

About 2 bushels and a peck.

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SnarkoPolo 3 points a year ago

One-half a Darth Vader.

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Jumi 2 points a year ago

It's more than less than a meter but less than more than a meter.

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loomy 2 points a year ago
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LadyButterfly 2 points a year ago

Around 2 cats long

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zxqwas 2 points a year ago

It's approximately 100 quarts per square foot.

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inconel 2 points a year ago

It takes 20s for falling cherry blossom petal to travel.

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whotookkarl 2 points a year ago

One universe across, depending on your frame of reference

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AmidFuror 1 point a year ago

There are 5 meters in one Iambic pentameter, so one meter is 0.2 of those.

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Metype 1 point a year ago

It's about as close as I'm comfortable standing to a stranger

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some_guy 1 point a year ago

Five pounds.

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Soku 1 point a year ago

From the tip of your right thumb to your left nipple. Too sensible?

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SnokenKeekaGuard 1 point a year ago

As long as a clap

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cattywampas 1 point a year ago

About a yard.

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_NetNomad 1 point a year ago
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OmegaLemmy 1 point a year ago

The carpet I'm standing on. No, I'm not giving you any pictures.

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Windex007 1 point a year ago

Shorter than a dozen football fields

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daggermoon 0 points a year ago

about 33 AU's

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Kaboom -2 points a year ago

Half the width of a car.

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Peter_Arbeitslos 2 points a year ago

USA moment.

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_NetNomad 3 points a year ago

0.009144 football fields

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Peter_Arbeitslos 4 points a year ago

You mean the the square root of the surface of Saarland divided by 2,569,690?

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