Believe me, I'm trying. So. F*****g. Hard.
Do you know of a dating app which caters primarily to heterosexuals, respects your privacy, doesn't use analytics and doesn't require G00g13 services to function properly?
a year ago by medem to c/asklemmy
medem 8 points a year ago
Walking (just for fun without the need to get somewhere specific), and to a lesser extent hanging around at modern (read: well-visited) cafes while reading a book. I actually go out quite a lot for someone who has 2 jobs, which makes the quest all the more frustrating.
roofuskit 42 points a year ago
Find a hobby that allows you to interact with other people. Both walking and reading a book in a cafe are solitary activities unless you make them otherwise.
You can join a walking club, though I think you will find those are typically for people who are older. You can also join a book club.
Once you are naturally getting out of the house and meeting new people with common interests, you will find it easier to meet potential partners who share your interests. But do not go into these situations hunting for a date. Get comfortable with the groups, get a feel for the vibe. Get to know the people, contribute to the group and let them get to know you. Then you can consider whether it's the right time, place, person to approach for a meeting outside the club.
This is a longer term strategy, but I think you will find your results are higher quality.
Apps and meeting people at bars are like closing your eyes and throwing a dart at a board. Clubs and groups that revolve around your interest give you pretense to get to know people and for them to get to know you, resulting in higher quality dates.
Marthirial 1 point a year ago
Support groups work really well. Citation: Fight Club.
MintyFresh 3 points a year ago
Focus on making a good friend group (I know almost as hard as dating). You'll meet friends of friends, which is where all the good dating prospects be in my experience. Friends first, the rest will come.
sp6 34 points a year ago
Mozilla reviewed the privacy of a lot of dating apps. It isn't very pretty, but there are some that are less bad than others. Article also gives some tips on how to improve your privacy while using them.
Privacy Guides also has a "Reducing the Risks while using dating apps" section in one of their articles.
Side note: I don't think the commenters who are saying "go outside" have really dated in years. Like it or not, it's by far the dominant way couples are meeting now, and unfortunately it's becoming more and more of a requirement in the modern dating scene:
medem 10 points a year ago
Actually, double thanks. First because I was indeed considering eharmony before I saw its ranking in that page, second because I didn't know anything at all about the 'Privacy not included' series, which apparently covers many other topics such as ShitGPT. I owe you one ;)
blarghly 8 points a year ago
Honestly, you just have to accept that your privacy is going to be compromised while using the apps. Everyone tends to gravitate towards just a few apps in any given geographic location. None of those people care about privacy. By not using these apps, you are going to significantly be hamstringing yourself. Like, a lot.
VirtigoMommy 29 points a year ago
Caters to heterosexuality? - literally all of them but grindr Respects your privacy/ doesn’t use analytics/ google services - are there any apps left that don’t rely on these?
I’m a trans woman so I’m sure we have very different needs as far as dating goes but ime they’re all variations on the same damn thing. Endless swipe fests
DrSleepless 3 points a year ago
Yep, bots bots bots.
VirtigoMommy 1 point a year ago
Honestly, bots suck but I can ignore the. Having to ‘prove’ I’m human by scanning my face literally Every. Fucking . Time. I even think about opening tinder is almost worse than just dealing with bots.
lowspeedchase 12 points a year ago
It's called 'a social club near you' and can be anything from tennis, climbing, hiking, even binge drinking. In all seriousness though, for an app like that to be profitable, i.e. for someone to build it, there'd have to be a (relatively) high subscription fee. Since everyone wants every app to be free, the apps that try that business model typically fail. Plus you get a chicken/egg problem, everyone wants to log into the app and see lots of opportunity, which won't exist for sometime given the literal paywall.
LemmyThinkAboutThat 7 points a year ago path: 0 18882061, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 2
medem 4 points a year ago
Thank you! A Friend of mine met her SO there indeed, but I've lost contact with her over the years AND somehow the app name registered in my brain as 'Blueharmony' which of course didn't yield any search results.... As stated elsewhere, I really don't care about paying.
BurgerBaron 2 points a year ago
That might be the better option currently if people in your region use it. Used to Christian only IIRC? Doesn't seem to be anymore. I miss OKCupid before the buyout.
KingGimpicus 5 points a year ago
You can't say Google like that or the Google will just read it and list it on Google.
Next time try using periods between letters to trick the Google. Like this
G.o.o.g.l.e.
The Google can't see it when you type it like that.
ElfWord 4 points a year ago
You're not going to find an app that doesn't use analytics. It's unreasonable to expect someone to build / run a service for users with no idea how it's actually functioning for them. To any app using Google Analytics, you are only one of hundreds of thousands of anonymous data points; get over yourself or buy a burner phone if you're that concerned about some upstream data broker knowing that ::gasp, shudder, horror:: you were on a dating app and ::shriek, cower, cry:: maybe targeting a romance-related ad to you.
If you can get past that, I'd suggest https://datefirefly.com/ - it's independent and trying to rebuild the old OkCupid kind of experience before Match Group bought OkC and drove it into the ground.
Or if you're in / near a city, try speed dating groups or see if there are matchmaking services with a good reputation.
occultist8128 1 point a year ago
This post doesn't have anything related to AI but why it still got many downvotes?
medem 5 points a year ago
Apparently, too many people got offended by me using the word 'heterosexual' (take a peep at a particular exchange below, it's a joy to read). The reason I was specific is that there are apps which specifically cater to non-heterosexuals, something I made clear in a comment that was also heavily downvoted.
junkthief 3 points a year ago
I suspect that it seems like an odd thing to feel the need to specify. Most of the world caters to heterosexuals. The existence of some dating apps that target LGBTQ subgroups is unlikely to have thrown off any recommendations you would have gotten. “You want privacy and to avoid google? You need Grindr or HER”
tanisnikana -6 points a year ago path: 0 18881424 18881468 18881564, hotness: undefined, score: -6, children: 15
medem 12 points a year ago
...please explain it to me like I'm five: Just how am I supposed to know that I'm answering to an 'asexual and lesbian trans woman'? I'm sorry if my words hurt your feelings (or not, it's not like I'm insulting, bullying or intimidating anyone), but your comment is so grossly out of place/scope that I'm finding it really hard not to believe you're trolling me.
tanisnikana -13 points a year ago path: 0 18881424 18881468 18881564 18881946 18881989, hotness: undefined, score: -13, children: 13
captain_aggravated -4 points a year ago
Don't date.
MidsizedSedan 3 points a year ago
Maybe I'm just a lonely pessimist, but I imagine the Venn Diagram of 'I'm ready to date' and 'I'm super privacy focused' is just OOP.
thanks for using Leebra!
go to feed...
I think it’s called “outside.”
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