Pilot dies after plane carrying nearly 200kg of SpaceX-branded cocaine crashes in remote Brazil
9 months ago by resipsaloquitur to c/nottheonion
cross-posted from: https://lemmings.world/post/34031000
Maybe it was just for personal use
i mean, the dental industry goes through it pretty fast. or was that the opthamologists
iirc it's to immediately staunch bleeding during eye surgery. or oral surgery. maybe both! as you can see all i remember is that cocaine drops exist as legit medicine
Just Teddy still funding those wars in South America.
I thought no fucking way they found over 7000lb of cocaine on a little business jet but yeah, that Gulfstream could probably barely take off with that much on board. That's one badass airframe.
Maximum payload is 1.5t but the fuel payload is 12t so 3t of cocaine barely scratches it
Hi aplane, I'm dad.
Oh my god still? Cocaine isn't cool anymore. Fent is more profitable to move. What the hell? Was The Deserter right?
You don't have to move fent. You can make it locally. The fent is usually mixed with other drugs, a little bit of cocaine could be laced with a whole lot of fent and then sold as pure cocaine to maximize profit.
Oh. I know fop was importing it?
Yeah but cocaine is neither cool nor the most profitable thing anymore, so I was kind of just asking 'wtf CIA?'
Truth be told I have no idea what's actually popular now, but when fentanyl hit the scene, for years it was being mixed into other drugs as a cheap filler that would also make the drug more potent, faster acting and more addictive.
Cocaine production in latin America has never been higher, it's dropped the price by huge amounts and now they are looking outside the USA to sell since the USA decided to kill their own economy.
Right but is it still the CIA moving it? And if so why?
Again, its not cool anymore. I don't think it's the most profitable thing. Why?
There's a Tom Cruise movie of historical value.
Well there goes Elon's Doordash. Definitely not getting that $10 tip now.
This is ridiculous.
Elon never tips.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Guess Elon's weekly shipment will be late. Probably scrambling to replace it off the streets like some kind of nose-mounted vacuum cleaner.
I wonder if it's a joke label or not
it's okay to use a hard A with teslers it's one of those slurs that never goes out of style
I was about to say, who would ever brand their cocaine, whether it was actually SpaceX or some random cartel? I would get the "brand identification" argument at the end user stage, but marking your bulk shipment of drugs just seems dumb.
i need to clean my glasses i thought i finally found the secret ingredient in my beaver brand mustard
It's real. I used to buy Nike brand ecstasy all the time.
If you have a Nike store in your town, I recommend you go in and ask for the triple stacks.
How do they know it's a fake spaceX packaging? Seems legit to me.
That’s this cursed timeline’s equivalent of Mitsubishi MDMA pills
Fuck yeah my guy! You brought back memories...
It can be one of three scenarios IMO:
A: Elon is being particularly dumb and actually produced and distributed drugs with his logo.
B: The Trump Regime created and planted these drugs to manufacture a reason to prosecute Elon.
C: Some drug distributor is a huge fan of SpaceX, or wants to deflect investigation away from their other operations.
...the world being the way it is, all three seems pretty damn plausible to me. 😕
D: They're branding their coke the same way that MDMA pill pressers will stamp real logos on their product to market it (without permission, of course). They usually don't do this with coke, but it's not unheard of.
It's D
straight rocket fuel
definitely c. you ever seen shitty weed packaging thats an obvious reference to Rick and Morty, trump, etc? looks like that culture has made its way to cocaine now
So you say... We all know how Nintendo would deal with snitches
I assumed it was elons personal stache for parties and shit
I figure it's a bit more like option C, with a bit of knockoff mentality going on. You know how you can find pictures online of super cheap knockoff merch from like China or some African countries? That's what I'm thinking is going on here.
Probably C. Elon would be more into ketamine than cocaine.
It's a week's supply for his basic bitch business major execs
Musk
he needs cocaine to counteract the effects of his ketamine binges.
He will be even worse when he is coming down!
in other news: are mitsubishi and tesla involved in global ecstasy sales?
I personally have a theory that they are indeed supplying pill manufacturers with high quality presses.
Most high quality pills (not talking about contents) I have seen beeing confiscated in night clubs are branded with car or fashion brands.
So maybe they are targeting people when they have a high happy hormone output.
Like: woah that mitsubishi is making me feel soooo great and suff.
Oh god the new Tesla's are so strong.
Sounds like something marketing departments would get off on.
It’s easier for drug manufacturers to appropriate brands than to come up with their own. Car and luxury brands are common, but so are other brands like Netflix, characters from comics, cartoons, video games, etc. The manufacturers need an easily recognizable and memorable design.
Check out this database for examples. https://www.drugsdata.org/
I thought I was clicking through to a satire site. Da fuq is this.
Orange teslas were great. Not seen them in about 6 six years though.
The plane was registered to Zambia
checks out. https://en.wikipedia.org/...
Musk switching away from Ketamine?
The cocaine is going to straighten him out and making him more normal.
Foreshadowing for the next launch.
The Reverend Horton Heat prophesise!
Well, I was workin' on my farm 'bout 1982
Pullin' up some corn and a little carrot, too
When two low-flying aeroplanes, 'bout a hundred feet high
Dropped a bunch of bales of somethin', some hit me in the eye
So I cut a bale open, and man, was I surprised
Bunch of large sized baggies with big white rocks inside
So I took a little sample to my crazy brother Joe
He sniffed it up and kicked his heels, said, "Horton, that's some blow"
**Bales of cocaine fallin' from low-flyin' plane
I don't know who done dropped 'em, but I thank 'em just the same
Bales of cocaine, fallin' like the pourin' rain
My life changed completely by the low-flyin' planes**
So I loaded up them bales in my pick-em-up truck
Headed west for Dallas, where I would try my luck
I didn't have a notion if I could sell 'em there
30 minutes later, I was a millionaire
I love how they have to note it was "fake space x packaging." I don't believe that for a second. This was probably elons weekend stash and he is going to be quite upset.
This would actually make a lot of things start to make a lot more sense compared to any non cocaine related explanations. If it is real, it's definitely not just Elon.
Kash Patel? Stephen Miller?
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We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
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Please also avoid duplicates.
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