Favourite Professor line?

8 months ago by Trex202 to c/futurama

wizrad 93 points 8 months ago path: 0 20176723, hotness: undefined, score: 93, children: 1
AngryishHumanoid 31 points 8 months ago

That is by a wide margin the one I quote the most, just after it is "Oh my no."

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brunchyvirus 77 points 8 months ago

FARNSWORTH:
Dear Lord, that's over 150 atmospheres of pressure.

FRY: How many atmospheres can this ship withstand?

FARNSWORTH: Well it's a spaceship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

Edit: Sorry I'm not sure why my comment was added as a reply to the parent comment.

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edgarde 13 points 8 months ago

between zero and one.

between one and zero

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dotslashme 60 points 8 months ago

Everyone’s always in favor of saving Hitler’s brain, but when you put it in the body of a great white shark. Ohhh, suddenly you’ve gone too far.

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badcommandorfilename 60 points 8 months ago

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SamuraiBeandog 22 points 8 months ago

We call the top roost of our cat castle The Angry Dome. She only gets up there when she is bonkers with the zoomies.

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Tanoh 12 points 8 months ago

I really like the little detail that in the shot after, the planet express ship is leaving and the professor can be seen walking around in a dome flayling his arms and looking angry.

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aarch0x40 1 point 8 months ago

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panda_abyss 57 points 8 months ago

You changed the outcome by observing it!

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Reverendender 9 points 8 months ago

No fair!

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habitualcynic 5 points 8 months ago

Came here to find this one haha

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BroBot9000 53 points 8 months ago

I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

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alquicksilver 16 points 8 months ago

Not sure whether this is my favorite but it sure is the one I most relate to lately.

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Awa 9 points 8 months ago

I have this one on my digital picture frame at work.

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Montagge 49 points 8 months ago

Well, I am already in my pajamas

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MehBlah 17 points 8 months ago

Futurama sleepers unite.

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BlueZen 45 points 8 months ago

this is going to be one hell of a bowel movement, afterwards he'll be lucky if he has any bones left

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Awa 41 points 8 months ago

I quote "Tell them I hate them" all the time, especially at work when someone does something unexpected that forces me to fix it.

From Fry and the Slurm Factory

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other_cat 2 points 8 months ago

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tpihkal 40 points 8 months ago

"And here's where I keep assorted lengths of wire."

"To shreds you say? How's his wife holding up? To shreds you say?"

"I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippie!"

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Reverendender 38 points 8 months ago

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erie09 4 points 8 months ago

Splat

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themeatbridge 38 points 8 months ago

"This is the perfect chance for Fry to try out my new anti-pressure pills"

"I can't swallow that!"

"Well then 'Good News!' It's a suppository!"

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higgsboson 36 points 8 months ago

Ohh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. "I'm My Own Grandfather"! Let's just steal the damn dish and get out of here! Screw history!

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MajorMajormajormajor 35 points 8 months ago

Professor has some classic lines:

Professor! Lava! Hot!

Good news! It's a suppository.

Oh, don't worry, Fry. I too once spent a nightmare-ish time in a robot asylum. But now it's nearly over. So long.

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Kolanaki 31 points 8 months ago

Farnsworth: "Remember to take your anti-pressure pills everyone!"

Fry: "I can't swallow this!"

Farnsworth: "Good news! It's a suppository!"

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Idreamofcheesy 28 points 8 months ago

What's the matter compressor?

Nothing's the matter, now that I fixed the matter compressor.

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W3dd1e 6 points 8 months ago

This might be my most favorite joke in all of TV in the history of the universe.

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Idreamofcheesy 5 points 8 months ago

It pops up in my head randomly like once a month and it always makes me chuckle.

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RedEyeFlightControl 28 points 8 months ago

Good News, Everyone!

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IcedRaktajino 11 points 8 months ago

...it's a suppository.

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homura1650 2 points 8 months ago

The university is bringing me up on disciplinary charges.

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charonn0 25 points 8 months ago path: 0 20176147, hotness: undefined, score: 25, children: 0
_stranger_ 24 points 8 months ago

Fifty-three years old? Oh... now I'll need a fake ID to rent ultraporn!

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BlueZen 23 points 8 months ago

"I don't want to live on this planet anymore"

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svc 23 points 8 months ago path: 0 20177446, hotness: undefined, score: 23, children: 0
you_are_dust 22 points 8 months ago

So that's what things would be like if I'd invented the fing longer. A man can dream though. A man can dream.

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MutantTailThing 22 points 8 months ago

Wernstrom!

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Trex202 6 points 8 months ago

Newman!

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Trex202 21 points 8 months ago

Professor Farnsworth: You can't just waltz into the Central Bureaucracy. It's a tangled web of red tape and regulations. I've never been, but a friend of mine went completely mad trying to find the washroom there.

Leela: Then we'll need a guide, someone who's been there before.

Professor Farnsworth: Oh, I've been there. Lots of times. [laughs maniacally]

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Czele 21 points 8 months ago

Heather: Sir, it's not necessary or wise to be naked.

Farnsworth: You sound just like my tennis instructor!

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urda 20 points 8 months ago
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dumples 2 points 8 months ago

A man can dream.....

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gressen 19 points 8 months ago

"I survived with only tribial bray dablage"

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CorneliusTalmadge 19 points 8 months ago

Here let me show you some of the different lengths of wire I used.

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Outsider9042 18 points 8 months ago

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Alexstarfire 6 points 8 months ago

You loved the silence from the professor?

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AnarchoEngineer 18 points 8 months ago

Leela: “He’s been in there a long time. I’m going in after him!”

Farnsworth (exasperated pointing): “Professor. Lava. Hot!”

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perfectduck 17 points 8 months ago

Whoa fire indeed hot

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moody 17 points 8 months ago

They say madness runs in our family. Some even call me mad. And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters, atomic supermen with octagonal shaped bodies that suck blood

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DJKJuicy 16 points 8 months ago

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2deck 14 points 8 months ago

Leela: Uh, Professor, are we even allowed in the Forbidden Zone?

Prof. Farnsworth: Why, of course! It's just a name! Like the Death Zone or the Zone of No Return. All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror!

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deadbeef79000 13 points 8 months ago

All of them.

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RizzRustbolt 13 points 8 months ago

Now I'm too young to rent UltraPorn.

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RizzRustbolt 9 points 8 months ago

Runner-up would be: "Now, now... perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything."

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Reverendender 12 points 8 months ago

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Trex202 12 points 8 months ago

Very well. If cop a feel I must, then cop a feel I shall!

path: 0 20176550, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 0
dejected_warp_core 12 points 8 months ago

If anyone needs me, I'll be in the angry dome.

That and:

Leela: Depth at 45 hundred feet, 48 hundred, 50 hundred! 5000 feet!

Farnsworth: Dear Lord, that's over 150 atmospheres of pressure.

Fry: How many atmospheres can this ship withstand?

Farnsworth: Well it's a spaceship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

path: 0 20190094, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 0
CM400 11 points 8 months ago

Sweet Zombie Jesus

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Telorand 11 points 8 months ago

"Give me back my floppy face!"

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Denjin 10 points 8 months ago

Your mouth just wrote a Paypal request tranfser that your butt has insufficient funds to honor.

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ragingHungryPanda 3 points 8 months ago

what was said right before that? XD

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almost1337 10 points 8 months ago

Professor: This cattle prod should help. Leela: How will that... Professor, zapping Leela with the prod: Get out there!

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MehBlah 9 points 8 months ago

It's dolomite, baby!

path: 0 20176765, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 1
ScrollerBall 3 points 8 months ago

I'm 40% dolomite!

path: 0 20176765 20181122, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Nollij 9 points 8 months ago

Good news, everyone! I'm a horse's butt.

path: 0 20181652, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 0
dgbbad 9 points 8 months ago

Goodbye, cruel world!

Goodbye, cruel lamp!

Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pompom curtain pull cords, cruel though they may be, I…

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Macaroni_ninja 8 points 8 months ago

PAZUZU!!!

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amorpheus 8 points 8 months ago

(Rumbling in the laboratory...) Buddha, Zeus, God, one of you guys do something! Satan, you owe me!

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poweruser 7 points 8 months ago

As soon as he appeals to Satan he is saved 😳 the next thing the Professor says is "Good news! I'm still technically alive, yes"

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TropicalDingdong 7 points 8 months ago

"Were all going to die"

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spankinspinach 7 points 8 months ago

Professor walks into conference room: "G N Eee"

I don't remember what episode, but first time i caught it, I rewatched it several times and laughed so hard it became part of my identity

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Trex202 6 points 8 months ago

This one?

path: 0 20179814 20179928, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1
spankinspinach 3 points 8 months ago

Will have to go back and watch but I think so!

path: 0 20179814 20179928 20183684, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
dethedrus 6 points 8 months ago

"Things only rhyme below ten to the minus five angstroms, you dope!"

"Shut up, Hawking. Fry, you idiot! You're a genius! Why are the laws of physics what they are? Instead of some other laws? To find out, we'd have to recreate the conditions before the Big Bang. It would take decades of work by thousands of scientists in a particle accelerator powered by dump trucks of flaming grant money."

path: 0 20181676, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
Jhex 5 points 8 months ago

you sound like my tennis instructor

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Zorsith 5 points 8 months ago

He has spells?!

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pjwestin 5 points 8 months ago

"I was going to eat that mummy."

path: 0 20190059, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
I_Has_A_Hat 5 points 8 months ago

Good news, everyone! I'm still technically alive!

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poweruser 5 points 8 months ago

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Rampsquatch 5 points 8 months ago

He's teriyaki style

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Grandwolf319 5 points 8 months ago

If you don’t stop fighting I’ll have you both neutered.

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Lushed_Lungfish 5 points 8 months ago

Defend the fire!

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0ops 5 points 8 months ago

IT CAN DO OTHER THINGS! WHY SHOULDN'T IT?!

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HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 3 points 8 months ago

Aww I expected someone to have died

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dumples 3 points 8 months ago

To Shred's You Say

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GissaMittJobb 3 points 8 months ago

'Our boys have taken up stealing - one of the worst and coolest of crimes'

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tigeruppercut 2 points 8 months ago

News, everyone.

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BlueZen 1 point 8 months ago
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DarkCloud -2 points 8 months ago

Fuck you everyone!

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