Nanook 31 points 10 months ago

Straight to

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Warl0k3 14 points 10 months ago

Porn on the cob!

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Nanook 7 points 10 months ago

Make popcorn, not war

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Warl0k3 13 points 10 months ago

I'll pop your corn 😉

... no you know what I'm sorry, that line was too cheesy and I'm ashamed.

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Nanook 7 points 10 months ago

It was corny lol

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sp3ctr4l 5 points 10 months ago

Well I mean, you know what happens when you give a corn cob a very thorough, vigorous massage, right?

Creamed corn.

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sp3ctr4l 18 points 10 months ago

...

Ok.

... can you butter your biscuits next?

Somewhat more serious question:

... what do you think of the uh, texture?

Nubbed for her pleasure?

???

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Warl0k3 14 points 10 months ago

The fuck? Where do you get off asking something like that, what are you some kind of pervert?

(lmao tho)

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sp3ctr4l 7 points 10 months ago

Oh well uh, I edited in with a second question, as you wrote that...

So I guess: I dunno!

Where do you get off!?

I thought that corn was buttered!

...

I in fact can believe its not butter!

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Warl0k3 10 points 10 months ago

Lol. Yeah tho, the texture is subtle but noticeable? It's nice, not wild or anything but still pleasant!

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sp3ctr4l 4 points 10 months ago

Ok, so basically:

... was only 95% insane, not 100% insane.

That's what I'm hearing lol, that a corncob could infact be a legitimately 'interesting' variant on a typical dildo?

Whether its for your cornholio or your bungholio?

Hahahah!

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exception 14 points 10 months ago

Truly a-maize-ing like usually. 😍

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Warl0k3 10 points 10 months ago

❤️ This trend has been so goofy, I couldn't resist getting in on it.

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sp3ctr4l 3 points 10 months ago

I think you should really commit to the bit, truly sink your teeth into it.

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Warl0k3 4 points 10 months ago

lol, commit to the bite as it were

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exception 3 points 10 months ago

Maybe I have been living under a rock since I never heard about it before. 😆 I am happy you helped me to close that knowledge gap in such a sexy manner. 😘

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Warl0k3 5 points 10 months ago

Lol yeah the shitpost community has been postin' corn for the past couple days, figured I'd show support for the cause.

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exception 2 points 10 months ago

Hehe, well I certainly support everything that tickles your exhibitionistic side.

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robocall 12 points 10 months ago

9 people downvoted this and I'm genuinely upset with them.

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Warl0k3 11 points 10 months ago

Omg I know!! But it's okay I totally have photos of them in the act:

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sp3ctr4l 5 points 10 months ago

Holy shit, I have not seen a SwatBot in 15 years.

... Sonic lore is really something else... fucking Penders is a madman...

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Warl0k3 4 points 10 months ago

I just want them to finish Sonic Underground. That whole show is the most absolutely insane shit and now it's just completely forbidden to even discuss it and it's a travesty. Nobody is clamoring for more of that absolute drug-trip bullshit except me (and maybe chrischan??), but goddamnit sega I WILL SUCK YOUR DICKS IF YOU JUST LET IT HAPPEN.

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sp3ctr4l 3 points 10 months ago

As I have somewhat embarassingly now realized... I seem to be a bit older than you... I read the Sonic comics... as they were published and released... in the 90s / 00s.

I don't know what a Sonic Underground is, apparently it aired in... France? Over in at least my locale in the US, we got "Sonic the Hedgehog", which... seems to have had a lot more serious of a tone?... But that SwatBot image is, I think, from one of the first 25 comics.

... and we are definitely both autistic, beyond any possible doubt, having turned an exhibitionist nsfw thread, somehow, into a discussion about Sonic the Hedgehog.

I guess uh, would you like to know about trains, lol?

There's at least some double entendre there to play with hahaha!

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robocall 8 points 10 months ago

I upvoted your food porn waffle today! From foodporn to more food porn 😂

Very cool OC!

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Warl0k3 7 points 10 months ago

I like to keep my posts on a theme, what can I say...

(And thank you! ❤️)

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krooklochurm 7 points 10 months ago

Now THIS is corn racing!

Try spinning, that's a good trick!

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Goinggoinggonewild 6 points 10 months ago

Always a pleasure to see you bound and helpless, and I do enjoy your creativity and commitment to a bit! Curious as to how the corn actually feels?

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Warl0k3 9 points 10 months ago

Aww shucks, thank you!

Corn was a little on the large side, but the texture was certainly interesting. Not quite a heavy enough texture to be super stimulating but it was certainly pleasantly noticeable.

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Goinggoinggonewild 2 points 10 months ago

I do so hope that was an intentional pun!

You seem the type to get something out of stretching your boundaries, I'm sure you weren't complaining. And there's something oddly erotic about the phrase 'pleasantly noticeable', thank you for that.

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Warl0k3 4 points 10 months ago

oddly erotic about the phrase ‘pleasantly noticeable’

Now imagine me saying it in a husky voice

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Goinggoinggonewild 2 points 10 months ago

And now I can't think of anything else!

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Pistcow 6 points 10 months ago

Impressive, very nice, now let's see Paul Allen's cornhole....

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Warl0k3 6 points 10 months ago

... Paul Allen as in Microsoft?

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sp3ctr4l 4 points 10 months ago

90% sure the shared name is purely coincidental, not meant to be a direct reference to the MSFT Paul Allen.

... the general name confusion though, is on point for American Pyscho.

Bland, interchangeable, common rich white dude names.

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Warl0k3 4 points 10 months ago

Thank you for the clarification, never seen the movie! Though unfortunately I'm still not sure what they were actually trying to say with the comment...

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sp3ctr4l 1 point 10 months ago

Uh... right. Yes.

Yeah it doesn't make much sense...

Maybe they want to see some kind of male partner of yours, his... corned hole?

... ?

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Sudonymous 5 points 10 months ago

I’d cover you in butter!

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Warl0k3 6 points 10 months ago

I Don't Believe It's Actually Butter™

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Sudonymous 3 points 10 months ago

Only one way to find out!

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Warl0k3 16 points 10 months ago

Way ahead of you, already working on getting it thoroughly slathered up...

(super awkward pose lol)

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Sudonymous 14 points 10 months ago

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frecklelegs 6 points 10 months ago

I HAVE to try this

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taladar 4 points 10 months ago

Content for https://cornhub.website/ ?

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DrDystopia 4 points 10 months ago

This image gives me mixed emotions, I hope I spend time thinking about beautiful women playing with ropes rather than corn. I'll report back later.

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cley_faye 4 points 10 months ago

The new recommended way to hold corn.

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Warl0k3 3 points 10 months ago

Lol it was so frustrating keeping it in there, really could have used a hand. Or some of those corn skewer things (... wait no, ouch)

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Yeeeeeetus 3 points 10 months ago

I do not think i'd get my gf to do that, it is very funny though :P

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Warl0k3 7 points 10 months ago

I recommend injecting a kernel of sincere arousal into your attempt to convince her - sure it's for a meme, but if you're also genuinely into it it makes the pitch much more likely to land.

Also, cheap pun.

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sp3ctr4l 4 points 10 months ago

Story Time!

I at one point had... or made ? ... an actual sex sandwich.

Gal I knew said she lost a slap-bet with a one armed friend of hers. Having only one arm, this arm was jacked. She did not want to be slapped.

(don't know if the bet was real, she may have just been very kinky and fancied me, but the one armed friend at least was real, lost an arm in an accident, I met him eventually)

The conditions of the bet were either accept a full force slap, or... have sex with someone, each of you slathered in peanut butter and jelly.

So of course, I did the moral thing and prevented a physical assault, lol.

Bought a cheap shower curtain, put it over my bed and uh... yep. PBnJ BJ, PBnJ licked off nipples, noses, ears... all in our hair... all over our bodies... and then the actual sex sandwich.

Didn't put PBnJ into her uh... cornhole... as that could have led to an infection of some kind, she figured. She uh, cleaned me off before the sandwich got fully pressed together.

Oh, and the bonus shower sex while cleaning off.

We set aside an entire Saturday for this, I had to map out all my roommates schedules so as to... minimize the chances of having to answer a knock at the door... entirely covered in pb and j.

Sadly, I guess, we were uh, too busy to take any pictures of this... but how's that for food related stuff you do or do not think you could be convinced to do?

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Warl0k3 3 points 10 months ago

oh I hope it was at least creamy peanut butter...

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sp3ctr4l 2 points 10 months ago

Uh, ahah yes, it was.

Already had 2 moderately nutty people, arguably also two additional decently sized nuts on one of those nutty people... no need for any more nuts.

But you didn't answer the question!

... would that be uh, too much for you, you think you could talk some into, or get talked into that?

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Yeeeeeetus 1 point 10 months ago

Oh, the thing is that she is fairly... vanilla in her tastes, which is fine. I don't think shoving food into her is high on any prio list. She even surpressed her bisexuality for a long-ass time due to societal pressure.

Interested in tourism in switzerland anytime soon? ;)

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Warl0k3 1 point 10 months ago

Oh boy I wish I could afford to go to Switzerland :(

And yeah I kinda figured that was the general situation. It can help to press on boundaries over time, especially it can help with getting past the obnoxious societal pressures thing, but... yeah, food play is a bit out there.

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Yeeeeeetus 1 point 10 months ago

Well, she was put off (slightly) by joking about sweet stuff at relevant body parts, so a bit out there fits.

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StrangeBedfellow 3 points 10 months ago

I see you've managed to shoe-corn yourself into a predicament yet again - well done!

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Warl0k3 4 points 10 months ago

That pun was almost as forced as the corn was (❤️)