ouch

7 months ago by irelephant [he/him] to c/iiiiiiitttttttttttt

brap 63 points 7 months ago

I like it, but it’s even worse than that as I’ve never had my printer murder motorcyclists or trap me inside and burn my body into dust.

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01189998819991197253 76 points 7 months ago

Don't worry. HP is working on this for their next firmware update.

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brap 19 points 7 months ago

Haha of course they are. Fucking HP.

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BradleyUffner 4 points 7 months ago

"your HP subscription is about to expire, would you like to renew it? BTW, that's a nice house you've got there, it would be a shame if something were to happened to it."

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lagoon8622 1 point 7 months ago

Brb, buying every model of HP printer (gotta get a chance at going first, if you don't shoot you can't score)

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Hideakikarate 20 points 7 months ago

That's not from lack of desire, but ability.

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artifex 14 points 7 months ago

The spirit is willing, but the cord is short.

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brap 12 points 7 months ago

Man, imagine a printer with arms. You’re not surviving the night.

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OwOarchist 3 points 7 months ago

I got a shotgun, though. I think I've got a chance.

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irelephant 14 points 7 months ago

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SeductiveTortoise 2 points 7 months ago

No, see, we only call it a bug if it isn't meant to be in the software. In this case, it's a feature.

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SeductiveTortoise 12 points 7 months ago

While telling you it can't open the door because it's out of magenta.

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fitgse 8 points 7 months ago

In the early 2000s my hp printer had a paper jam and the error message from cups was “printer on fire!”

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OwOarchist 5 points 7 months ago

I’ve never had my printer murder motorcyclists

But I suspect it would if it could.

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dejected_warp_core 1 point 3 months ago

That's only because it's tethered to the wall, lacks wheels, and is two tons underweight. Just like a house-cat: it would if it could.

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CannonFodder 37 points 7 months ago

I've never had any problems with my Tesla 3. I wouldn't buy another because Musk, of course. But the car's been solid.

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StupidBrotherInLaw 10 points 7 months ago

Same, we bought one before Musk went mask off. We're closing on 180,000 KM and have only needed to replace the upper control arms, which was covered by warranty.

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espentan 3 points 7 months ago

You're lucky, then, I think. My nephew's 3 never got right. After a year of ownership they finally agreed to take it back, mostly to avoid a lawsuit, I think.

The fit and finish was also pretty atrocious, but I reckon most people don't really notice.

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Taleya 1 point 7 months ago

I think it depends which country you bought it in too.

Most US sold cars are not road legal in other countries

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Tja 3 points 7 months ago

Same here. The only maintenance has been tires, windshield washer fluid and cabin air filter for the last 5 years. I also won't buy another one as long as Musk is there. Last year we were in the market for a second car and if it was about tech specs alone, a used base model 3 would be the best, but we bought a BMW instead. Fuck Musk, but the car is a pleasure to own.

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Imgonnatrythis 0 points 7 months ago

Not bothered by the safety issues?

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CannonFodder 5 points 7 months ago

I learned how to use the door knobs, if that's what you mean?

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ayyy -2 points 7 months ago

Do you remember to teach all your rear seat passengers how to disassemble the door to get to the handle?

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CannonFodder 2 points 7 months ago

I very rarely have back seat passengers. The seats back there are kinda small. And I figure the hidden manual latch straps make it about the same as any back door with the child lock on.

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hanke -12 points 7 months ago

Still have to pay a subscription for heated seats or whatever, right?

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MinFapper 27 points 7 months ago

That was BMW, actually. Not Tesla

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Tja 2 points 7 months ago

Not even that, BMW allowed to get it as an option (never removed the possibility of buying it out right). However this is the internet, there's no room for nuance.

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scops 14 points 7 months ago

They charge for premium network connectivity. It's $10/month to make use of if the LTE radio in the car for connecting directly to streaming services without your phone, live camera feeds in your cell phone app, and some extra map stuff. You still get eight years of basic navigation and updates if you don't pay for it.

The heated seats thing was BMW, which they back tracked on

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Glytch 0 points 7 months ago

You lose gps after 8 years?

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scops 4 points 7 months ago

I doubt you lose the GPS connection, but you lose the network connection to make the mapping and navigation work. About like navigating with your phone without cell service

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Kolanaki 26 points 7 months ago

tries to start car; gets warning on dash

"low on cyan"

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captain_aggravated 5 points 7 months ago

Automotive CMYK

Cyan: Washer fluid

Magenta: ATF

Yellow: Coolant

Key: Engine oil

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captain_aggravated 3 points 7 months ago

Photo Key: diff oil

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SCmSTR 17 points 7 months ago

And it being a Nazi brand.

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MalReynolds 10 points 7 months ago

TBF so is IBM (actual Nazis, not just fascist fanboys).

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PolarKraken 4 points 7 months ago

No shit? Like historically or up through the modern era or newly so or what?

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TipRing 8 points 7 months ago

Historically. IBM provided tech and expertise facilitating the holocaust.

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cybernihongo 2 points 7 months ago

I was considering if I should work for IBM. Maybe I need to do a little reading on that, any sources you recommend?

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NecroParagon 12 points 7 months ago

As someone who works with printers for a living this is insulting to the printers. They function at least most the time.

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BlameTheAntifa 10 points 7 months ago

Oh, Brother!

Tap for spoiler

Get it?

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MashedTech 10 points 7 months ago

Unless your printer is brother. Then I wish my car was like my printer.

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vaultdweller013 5 points 7 months ago

The car equivalent of a brother printer is a mid 90s to early 10s Toyota.

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GalacticGrapefruit 2 points 3 months ago

Those things are solid. If and when I eventually do get a car, I wanna get a little Toyota pickup. Not one of those moronic massive pavement princesses. Like the old Ford Rangers from the 90s. A little truck, good for converting into a van or just helping neighbors move things. A small, low to the ground, helpful, polite little old man truck.

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Hudell 3 points 7 months ago

As a happy owner of a Brother printer, can confirm. The worst thing I can think about my printer is that its menus are in Spanish.

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AnotherPenguin 6 points 7 months ago

You wouldn't download a printer

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BradleyUffner 6 points 7 months ago

Also, it locks you inside and starts on fire.

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BarneyPiccolo 3 points 7 months ago

Thats one of the few things I like about it.

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Aeri 6 points 7 months ago

I always compare them to Apple products because I hate Apple products.

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BarneyPiccolo 1 point 7 months ago

I hate all those brands that people create a cult around. Back in the 90s, it happened around Saturn cars. Saturn owners were known to be insufferable about their Saturns, as if they owned something special, instead of just another car that anyone could buy at a Saturn dealership.

I test drove one once, to see what the fuss was about, and by the end of the drive, I had about 10 things I hated about it, including headroom being so low, my head hit the ceiling on every bump, even after the sales guy adjusted seat all the way down, and I'm not even 6 feet tall. Apparently, Saturn was hostile toward tall people.

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Angrydeuce 2 points 7 months ago

I can chalk a lot up to just people having different tastes and all that, but when people are literally spending non-trivial sums of money on Apple product packaging, like they're collecting the boxes the shit comes in and decorating their space with them, things that they never even actually owned at any point in their lives...I'm sorry but that's just on a whole level beyond people that, like, are into their Jeep (though as recent Subaru owner I've found people are similarly oddly passionate about owning a Subaru...its just a car to me man, sorry lmao) or into FunkoPop or whatever.

Any other product, if you see someone selling an empty box almost 99% of the time it's like, "Yeah, this is a scammer, they're banking on people not paying attention" but with Apple boxes it's definitely 50/50 that it is legit someone selling an empty box to someone looking to buy an empty box. The absolute insanity lol

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manmachine 5 points 7 months ago

Don’t you dare slander my printer so

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PhoenixDog 3 points 7 months ago

Right? If I want to print something it'll print.

If I want to drive a Tesla, I don't want it to call for the genocide of Jews.

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P1nkman 5 points 7 months ago