The ADHD tax

23 days ago by ickplant to c/adhd

EggInDisguise 103 points 23 days ago

I have a couple friends who have issues with making their food. Idk how many times I've been talking to one, they mention feeling like shit, and I asks aht the last thing they ate was and it's some shit like "I had a coffee yesterday around 2pm"

So now, since I love cooking but hate all the prep and cleanup, I have them buy the ingredients the day before I plan on coming over, then I spend the day making meals for the next week and a half. It all has to be able to heat in one container, preferably the container it's stored in to assist with ease of heating.

It's still a toss up, but now at least when they hit a wall they can grab a box out of the fridge instead of sitting paralyzed trying to figure out what to eat or deciding to just stay hungry

I also have to label the meals with binary choices. Things like "LUNCH MONDAY OR DINNER WEDNESDAY" so they have variety and an option for if they don't want a specific one right now. Otherwise it's "too many options" and instead of just grabbing whatever, they close the freezer/fridge.

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scrollo 79 points 23 days ago

I didn't realize a real, literal angel used lemmy.

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FartMaster69 40 points 23 days ago

Whoa, a hero.

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JustAnotherKay 37 points 22 days ago

I’ll suck ya dick once a week if you come over here and meal prep for me

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Sas 20 points 22 days ago

Fuck it I'll do it twice a week for meal prep

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Unstoppable_Flop 5 points 22 days ago

They're not real, it's an egg in disguise

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areakode 1 point 22 days ago

I'd still suck it... :D

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electric_nan 20 points 22 days ago

What an incredible friend you are.

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Delphia 5 points 22 days ago

This is a problem Ive had since I went on a GLP1. Im not always thinking about food so it gets to 7pm and I go "Oh, yeah... food..."

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PoliteDudeInTheMood 1 point 15 days ago

That's nothing, when I first went on ozempic I didn't eat for 4 days. Started getting really bad stomach aches and couldn't figure out why...

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Malyca 1 point 21 days ago

You're like an actual angel

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GrantUsEyes 20 points 23 days ago

Takeout? I just don't eat

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atrielienz 15 points 23 days ago

Because you forgot and now it's 3 am and nothing is open, or?

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Nemo 7 points 22 days ago

No, because I'm broke.

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atrielienz 6 points 22 days ago

Reasonable. Carry on.

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Alexstarfire 6 points 23 days ago

Waffle House never closes.

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GrantUsEyes 6 points 22 days ago

I'm cheap so the way I don't die of starvation is because ocationally I have to cook for others. XD

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atrielienz 4 points 22 days ago

I feel that in my soul.

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chocrates 12 points 22 days ago

I wish I had that flavour of ADHD.
I crave the dopamine that food gives me and I buy delivery all the time and am decently overweight.

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GrantUsEyes 3 points 22 days ago

Not good for one's health either friend, good for the wallet tho.

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AnalogRegression 19 points 22 days ago

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matelt 15 points 23 days ago

Stop attacking me!

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wonderingwanderer 14 points 22 days ago

I feel this so hard! Lately I've been better but not by much. I just do shelf-stable stuff like oatmeal and frozen stuff that I can either microwave or airfry.

It's not the healthiest, but it's better than not eating and it's cheaper than takeout every day...

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Delphia 5 points 22 days ago

The quality of a lot of the fitness frozen meals is actually pretty good. If you keep a decent number of them on hand so you get variety.

I find thats the best method. Keep the freezer full of healthy shit and go out if I want junk. Im lazy... but I'm also lazy.

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wonderingwanderer 4 points 22 days ago

Some frozen meals can be gross, but I found a specific brand that does organic, vegetarian frozen meals and the quality is surprisingly good. And it's still cheaper than takeout. Their frozen burritos are pretty good too, and even cheaper.

In addition to that I keep various forms of frozen potatoes on hand, and some fish sticks and vegetarian chicken tenders (don't judge me). It's easy and adds variety.

I probably haven't been getting enough vegetables lately, so maybe I should start getting frozen peas and broccoli and stuff to microwave with that stuff.

And then of course keeping a few frozen pizzas on hand, and I end up not really eating any one thing so frequently that I get bored of it.

It's not a glamorous life, but it's peaceful and I don't go hungry, and it makes monthly budgeting way easier

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RememberTheApollo_ 12 points 22 days ago

After “vegetables” it could be “eats potato chips instead.”

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Etterra 8 points 22 days ago

See what you need is heavily medicated depression so that you can just skip steps 2 through 5 and skip straight to delivery.

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MrMcGasion 2 points 22 days ago

And you save money by not wasting money on groceries you won't use and won't have more work when you inevitably have to clean out the fridge and throw out everything that went bad.

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Itdidnttrickledown 6 points 22 days ago

I guess I'm over that. Just made tomorrows lunch. I get takeout once or twice a month at most.

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isVeryLoud 3 points 22 days ago

Good job! I'm almost there~

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Itdidnttrickledown 2 points 21 days ago

Except for the days I leave the lunch in the fridge or the counter or the top of the car.

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isVeryLoud 2 points 21 days ago

Mood :(

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Sam_Bass 6 points 22 days ago

more than id like to admit

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Lj404333 6 points 22 days ago

I go days without meals just cos of this. Even if you get most of the veg and meat etc pre prepared, it's still costly but cheaper than wasting food unless I change my mind a hour later

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bestboyfriendintheworld 5 points 22 days ago

Buy food that you can eat without cooking it. Or where cooking is extremely easy.

Meal prep? Just cook more than you need when you cook. Then you have leftovers.

Buy: eggs, tomatoes, carrots, bell peppers, fast cooking pasta, canned fish, bread, cheese

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Zoomboingding 2 points 22 days ago

Spinach, cheese, deli meat, bread! Also peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Trail mix (with fruit not M&Ms). Hell just get meal replacement shakes (I buy Soylent but you can pick up Instant Breakfast or Ensure in regular grocery stores).

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bestboyfriendintheworld 1 point 18 days ago

Frozen spinach I’m guessing? Or fresh?

Frozen spinach, Gorgonzola, and pasta make a really tasty easy dish.

As meal replacement drink I use Mana. Buying powder is much cheaper than buying a finished drink.

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Zoomboingding 2 points 16 days ago

I get fresh baby spinach leaves for sandwiches. Great for salads, on burgers, or thrown into pasta. It's cheap but it can be difficult to get through a whole container before it wilts.

Haven't tried Mana. I get cases of Soylent because it's only an occasional thing, but it's perfect when I need something fast and it's way healthier than other options.

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dejected_warp_core 5 points 21 days ago

Yup. Gotta lock in and strike while the iron's hot. That means you shop, buy, cook, prep, freeze, package, whatever, all in one go. If it's not done in 4 hours wall-to-wall on a Sunday, it ain't happening; one of those steps will get derailed.

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BlindPenguin 5 points 21 days ago

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Bluedragon012 4 points 22 days ago

Au-adhd: Not only do you hate the dishes, you hate the smell of leftovers, you hate the taste of microwave, the oven takes too long, sometimes even going out takes too long. So you obsess over getting the most bang for your buck when going out.

Personal debuff : I need glp1 but insurance dosent cover them because have pre-pre-dibetus. Add in major depression and anxiety. And if that wasn't enough: fibromyalgia.

Meal prep is an impossible task and I'd be dead if it wasn't for my husband.

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ickplant 1 point 21 days ago

That’s so real. I’m also AuDHD, and some foods are just a no-go. I also can’t do dishes because wet food remains and the sensory feeling of touching them, even with gloves, disgust me to the point of gagging.

Adding chronic pain to the mix just turns it all up to 11 for you, I’m sure.

Yay for husbands who keep us alive!

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ironycanal 3 points 23 days ago

This is what drugs are for. Try a mix of weed and LSD.

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rumba 2 points 22 days ago

Meal prep sounds like the most amazing thing.

Half a day prep with dishes, just basic dishwasher the rest of the week, all that contiguous free time.

So I put on an audio book or some jams and start cooking.

2 great things that are hard, 3 decent things that are moderate, 4-5 ok things that are easy

one time dish cleanup, spread out into the bentos. Stack em into the fridge.

Monday: 3 yummy meals ***
Tuesday: 3 ok meals **
Wednesday: 3 yummy meals ***
Thursday: god, i'm tired of this stuff already 3 ok meals, some of the sides are easy and meh **
Friday: Running out of good stuff, the bad stuff ruins the mediocre stuff 3 i'm sick of this meals *
Saturday: I'm tired of the good stuff, over the ok stuff, i don't want the bad stuff 3 * meals
Sunday: time to meal prep, I'm so sick of meal prep already. God all these dishes, all that cooking...

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sp3ctr4l -10 points 23 days ago

Genuinely not trying to be an asshole:

Set a daily timer on your phone just labelled 'PERISHABLE VEGETABLES IN FRIDGE' ... ?

Like, have it go off every day?

Or maybe label it 'Meal Prep Time'?

Set 'appointments' in your calendar for specific meals, a few times a week, with the actual instructions for making a meal?

Or, like, once upon a time, it used to just be fairly normal to set aside a few hours on the weekend (or some off work day) to do a significant amount of meal prep, store it for the week, then that stuff is either good to go, or just needs minimal additional work (quick flash in a toaster oven or what not) to make it good to go, day of.

I dunno, as best I can tell I don't have ADHD, but I did have major depression for a while, and part of what helped me out of that was just strictly regimenting myself, untill I didn't need the alarms anymore. I know ADHD ain't the same, but... might be useful/relevant?

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Maven 33 points 22 days ago

The problem with daily reminders is that eventually you just get so used to the reminder that you tune it out completely and it stops mattering entirely.

They can work well for a lot of people but at least for me... after about a month theyre effectively not there anymore

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sp3ctr4l 5 points 22 days ago

Ah, dang.

Well, sorry it doesn't work for you, truly.

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polariscap 3 points 22 days ago

Agreed. When a therapist or friend or anyone, thinking that they’re being caring, suggests to me, “How about setting a reminder?” as though I’ve never tried that, I’m like, “… Okay, how about I show you my multi-layered alarms/reminders lists? Buckle up, buddy!”

Or the genuine question, “Have you ever tried a planner?” Let me show you the entire half bookshelf I have of planners. Now let me describe to you how/where each system went wrong and what was happening in my life at the time. Oh wait— you’re gone now

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BarrelAgedBoredom 18 points 22 days ago

A huge part of what makes ADHD a disorder is the fact that it's incredibly difficult to form and retain habits (aka executive dysfunction). Alarms, reminders, etc. might increase the likelihood that any given task gets done, but not by much, and it doesn't guarantee that task will get done with any regularity whatsoever. The other part of executive dysfunction is difficulty with task initiation. I can't speak for every ADHD'er but, if I manage to remember something needs done, there's a solid chance I simply wont be able to get it started. I'll sit on the couch for literal hours, knowing that I need to do the laundry, that if I don't do the laundry I won't have clothes to wear tomorrow, that it'll take me 5 minutes to get the load started, that I would be so much better off if I just did them, that I would feel good having accomplished just one thing today, on and on. But my body physically won't move. Ill be sat still, staring blankly at a wall for hours, screaming at myself to just do SOMETHING, and yet I can't will myself to move.

You saying "just set a reminder" is akin to telling a depressed person to just not be depressed. Like, gee thanks! I didn't know you can just do things. Guess I don't have "can't just do things disorder" after all!

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polariscap 1 point 22 days ago

For sure.

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okwhateverdude 7 points 22 days ago

Moral equivalent of "just don't do that". It isn't super helpful. The key part of the meme is the third line. The interest or motivation to do the original thing is gone. The reminders become shameful which just starts a spiral of avoidance and executive dysfunction.

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sp3ctr4l 3 points 22 days ago

I mean, I was chronically depressed, with major depressive disorder, for years.

I also had a dopamine problem, I also had 0, negative motivation, nearly all the time, and went through the shame -> avoidance -> executive dysfunction loop.

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NaibofTabr 4 points 22 days ago

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davetortoise -16 points 22 days ago

You people really cant do anything can you

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explodicle 3 points 22 days ago

Oh there's some stuff we do amazingly superhuman well. We just don't get to pick the stuff.

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areakode 3 points 22 days ago

And the stuff changes regularly. But at least most of the knowledge sticks!

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supersquirrel 2 points 22 days ago

We can have empathy for others which makes us infinitely more valuable than you.

You could be the smartest person in the world and with that attitude you are worse than useless.

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AdolfSchmitler 1 point 22 days ago

You know, if you don't have anything nice to say, you don't have to say anything at all.

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