No Hantavirus, thank goodness.

19 hours ago by Anonymous_Leaker to c/lemmyshitpost

Cyclist 51 points 18 hours ago

Anal fissure and chronic diarrhea qualify this as a shitpost.

path: 0 24378777, hotness: undefined, score: 51, children: 1
Anonymous_Leaker 10 points 18 hours ago

If I may be so bold, I say it is top notch!

path: 0 24378777 24378790, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
bjoern_tantau 30 points 19 hours ago

HIV, HPV, spooky vaginosis
Sinning with your naked bod is evil and atrocious

path: 0 24378109, hotness: undefined, score: 30, children: 3
Anonymous_Leaker 11 points 19 hours ago

You know that old saying, YOLO!

path: 0 24378109 24378120, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 1
betterdeadthanreddit 9 points 19 hours ago

Any YOLO's a goal-o.

path: 0 24378109 24378120 24378484, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 0
bizarroland 1 point 10 hours ago

And even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious

Supercalifragilisticexpalidocius!

path: 0 24378109 24386468, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
lennee 18 points 17 hours ago

balls twisted AND on fire

path: 0 24379721, hotness: undefined, score: 18, children: 0
Anonymous_Leaker 18 points 19 hours ago

path: 0 24378046, hotness: undefined, score: 18, children: 0
green_goglin 14 points 14 hours ago

they misspelt hentaivirus

path: 0 24382346, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 3
Sabata11792 10 points 14 hours ago

That's what killed my family computer growing up.

path: 0 24382346 24382719, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
Anonymous_Leaker 2 points 10 hours ago

No, you did, lol. Edit: I looked up hantai... It wasn't for me.

path: 0 24382346 24386460, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1
green_goglin 2 points 2 hours ago

lololol

path: 0 24382346 24386460 24391554, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
jaybone 12 points 15 hours ago

I don’t mind fake posts when they at least try.

path: 0 24381191, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 3
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 3 points 11 hours ago

i also like them when they tee up good jokes in the comments.

the best comedians don't take every punchline. sometimes they set them up for other folk to tell the punchline to the joke, and it's funnier that way. the role is called The Straight Man (and as an absurdist NB Bi dude it's really amusing to play The Straight Man)

path: 0 24381191 24385227, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 2
jaybone 2 points 11 hours ago

I was implying whoever made this didn’t really try. So it kind of annoyed me.

path: 0 24381191 24385227 24385425, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 3 points 11 hours ago

oh no worries. it's a low hanging fruit for sure, but some low-hanging-fruit jokes are still fun to tell. when you're still learning comedy, that's where you start, and those of us who are more experienced still laugh just as hard to encourage.

my favorite joke is (and it suffers from text, the real joke is in the delivery and timing):

two pretzels were walking down the street

one was assaulted

pretzel

it's a terrible joke and i love it no one can tell me it's bad because all you're exposing is your underappreciation of wordplay :3

path: 0 24381191 24385227 24385425 24385474, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
OriginEnergySux 11 points 18 hours ago

path: 0 24379036, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 5
Tiral 7 points 17 hours ago

I know this has been around for a while, but is this dude for real? I know it was originally COVID, but this guy is a moron.

path: 0 24379036 24379579, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 3
crunchy 10 points 16 hours ago

This guy is like a quarter of the people I work with.

path: 0 24379036 24379579 24380211, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
OriginEnergySux 4 points 17 hours ago

I hope not

path: 0 24379036 24379579 24379719, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 1 point 11 hours ago

isn't he a Cain Award winner?

path: 0 24379036 24379579 24385265, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
gigastasio 6 points 15 hours ago

I am an American

I make my own choices

I stand strong!

dies

path: 0 24379036 24381990, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
chunes 7 points 7 hours ago

the idea of needing a test to know whether you have chronic diarrhea is sending me

path: 0 24389013, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 2
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 2 points 5 hours ago

So like, one of the poop tests measures (I think specific gravity?) in meters per second. And all I have thought about the past 30 years in a tiny corner of my brain is lab techs racing poops

path: 0 24389013 24390197, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Drusas 1 point 6 hours ago

Or anal fissure.

path: 0 24389013 24389722, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 5 points 11 hours ago

I just checked your test results. You have Chronic Dying Disease. I'm so sorry, you have somewhere under 90 years to live. Have you been bicycling? It's the only way i can think of to get test results like this

path: 0 24385252, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 1
Anonymous_Leaker 2 points 6 hours ago

path: 0 24385252 24389871, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
wuffah 4 points 15 hours ago

Oh no, you’ve got diarrhea AIDS!

path: 0 24381959, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
Ceruleum 3 points 10 hours ago

You didn't take your daily dose of Ivermectine?

path: 0 24385967, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Etterra 3 points 7 hours ago

When you barely survive the Renfaire Fuckpocalypse.

path: 0 24388866, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
snoons 3 points 19 hours ago

ITT: ITT

path: 0 24378385, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 2 points 5 hours ago

Oh I'll in your thread you

Yeah that didn't work at all I'll come in again

path: 0 24378385 24390221, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Son_of_Macha 1 point 11 hours ago

Bubonic plague is easy to treat with subs general antibiotics, you were very lucky.

path: 0 24385636, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 1 point 11 hours ago

HANTAVIRUS???

path: 0 24385169, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
lemmyshitpost
lemmyshitpost

@lemmy.world

login for more options
40442
26948
14521

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/Explicit

Content


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

go to feed...