US Official Pitches Greenland Annexation as a Way to Save Red Lobster’s Endless Shrimp

9 hours ago by Krauerking to c/nottheonion

Whatever to keep an ending culture alive amiright? Even if it means annexing a country to get cheap shrimp because anything changing would be to much effort.

delial 14 points 9 hours ago

But what about Red Lobster's All-You-Can-Eat Krill Fest?!

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unemployedclaquer 4 points 6 hours ago

I am a whale, and I like krill

Need some help here, I'm just the piano player

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joeljoelle 12 points 9 hours ago

Well now I just can't get out of my head the picture of a Red Lobster fleet of pirate ships invading Greenland shouting "When we say endless we mean it" and that's completely fucking ridiculous but I guess that's what's happening? I have to say that's really Long John Silvers territory

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Krauerking 3 points 6 hours ago

Yeah no version of this isnt funny but sad

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homesweethomeMrL 7 points 5 hours ago

I thought maybe we could just have one day where every single member of this administration was not a horrendous embarrassment to everything.

Today is not that day.

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Krauerking 1 point 4 hours ago

The like tweet quoted in the article sounds so dry it must have killed the person writing it.

One reason the US is considering acquiring Greenland is to secure access to seafood that could potentially bring back unlimited shrimp at Red Lobster. - US official to the New Yorker

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gravitas_deficiency 5 points 5 hours ago

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Salamanderwizard 5 points 8 hours ago

Can't wait for Call of Duty game where a spec ops team is sent in to stop the evil Greenland terrorist who have shrimp families hostage. America is the only chance these shellfish have for freedom.

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Danarchy 5 points 5 hours ago

This is bush league shit my buddy Dr Snake came up with this idea like 12 years ago after an enormous bong rip

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Quetzalcutlass 4 points 5 hours ago

A war over shellfish, you say?

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workerONE 4 points 7 hours ago

Does it include shrimp scampi?